FEE FII FOE FUM - WHAT'S IT LIKE TODAY TO DATE A BRITISH MAN? MISSY SPEAKS ON WHAT SHE THINKS OF BRITISH DATING RULES

Maybe we'll have to rely on some stereotypes here, especially because both Great Britain and the United States are ethnically diverse. I think that means culturally diverse and then there are class issues to consider. However, after reading around the subject I think I can give you 21st Century Foxes a few clues!

British men will seem more reserved than American men, more mannered and formal in general. They are less likely to get too touchy feely when you dance slowly with them. You may need to tone down your exuberance though because all your enthusiasm can come off as trying too hard and even fake. (I'm a little suspicious of over exuberance myself.)

Which leads to that more alcohol is consumed. Expect you'll both have at least one drink on a date. It's used to bust through the formality and without it he may not warm up and tell you how he feels. (Careful though because alcoholism isn't easy to overcome.)

British men are more concerned with grooming and might more often fall into the MetroSexual category in your way of thinking, with men in Britain making more effort with their hair and nails and, reportedly, even plucking their brows. (Cool! if to get rid of the bushy haywire but not so if too pencil thin.) British men are more likely to be clean, neat, and smell good. (What's that aftershave you're wearing?)

He doesn't think he needs his parent's approval. (But if he's young, never married, and rich, he will want them to like you, believe me.)

If he asks you out, he doesn't want to be friends. You might want to meet him for coffee or lunch just to check him out but he wants to go out at night. If you want to check him out attempt to go out in groups or do group activities to check him out. (I'm all for the afternoon dates and slow to get to know you so this would be difficult for me.)

If it helps you any, if you go out with him twice he thinks you're his girlfriend. That can quickly get complicated because he may think you keeping your options open is actually "cheating!" (I don't like this at all!)

Dates can be No Big Deal activities. Don't expect the limo ride to an expensive restaurant any time soon. Unfortunately sex can also be No Big Deal.  (I'm good with the first and not at all good with the last.)

You need to be introduced (and on-line meeting can usually suffice) as they are not going to approach you, a stranger, in public, just because you happen to see each other out  somewhere. (Luckily, with such good manners, being out with your mutual friend, you will be.)

Don't go down a list of questions in order to quickly profile or "know" another person. It's rude.(I agree!)

A confusion of expectations since Old Fashioned gender roles are desirable yet British men want to "Go Dutch" and split the costs of the dates?! (This one is crazy making to me. I think whomever asks the other person on a date should plan it and pay for it. I would not recognize the plan as a date.  I pay for my self when out with friends.)

More forgiveness if your date doesn't go so well. Loose the car in the carpark? Drink a little too much and throw up? I have no idea just how far forgiveness can go. (If it's being kind hearted and less demanding because we're all human, Great. Unfortunately, I've ignored too many red flags in my life.)

Interesting conservationists and well read?!  Yes!

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ABOUT SIR JOHN BETJEMAN THE POET - WHAT DID SHE SEE IN HIM? AND WHAT DID HE HAVE IN HER?

While Lady Elizabeth Cavendish said nothing about her relationship with Sir John Betjeman, he was, before his recognition and as a poet laureate from 1972 until his death, a public figure. To clarify, a poet laureate is defined as a poet appointed for life as a member of the British royal household or one who honorarily represents a particular country. He was extremely popular. The honor came from Queen Elizabeth II. Born in 1906 he was not a young man when he was given this honor.

An only child who was a bit alone and didn't enjoy sports, he recognized poetry as his profession young and hated school as a boy. College at Oxford turned out to be much better as at least there were some literary people there he could relate to. He left there in 1928 without a degree but within a few years he published his first book of poetry.

POETRY FOUNDATION - John Betjeman

INTERESTING LITERATURE ; 10 GREAT BETJEMAN POEMS EVERYONE SHOULD READ

He was introduced on a country weekend to Penelope, his wife, who was from an upper class family that thought she could do better. He was considered to be a middle class man of Dutch heritage, not their kind.

World War II he, his wife, and his first child went to Ireland as an attaché to represent Britain. At one point the IRA wanted to assassinate him. It didn't help that being from a Dutch heritage he was at time taunted that he was the enemy - a German. He was suspected of being a spy.

He loved architecture, especially churches. He became known for architectural preservation of London churches. He was Knighted in 1969.

Betjemen had a sense of humor as well as the keen observer's view point. A number of thematic films for television were made that were popular among the British. These films were designed to showcase a series of poems. As someone who observed and commented on ordinary life, it's my idea that people from all walks of life could relate to his work.

In a YouTube video, called The Real John Betjeman, a documentary of 45 minutes or so, various people who knew the man give their opinions on what he was up to with a wife and mistress. I was glad to find this video which includes a bit about Lady Elizabeth Cavendish.

YOUTUBE VIDEO : THE REAL JOHN BETJEMEN Poster is Aaron Marchant - Poetry and Verse. Source is UK Channel 4 and it appeared in 2000. 

It's suggested that the big crisis in his marriage was when Penelope converted to Roman Catholicism while he remained Anglican. It's suggested that the couple loved each other but were incompatible. (It's not lost on me that Catholics were not to be divorced but Anglicans were able and that he wrote poetry about churches and was involved in preserving some. Am I the only one who sees her move as a Big Rebellion against her husband?)  At around 33 minutes into this documentary, an "expert" who is not identified says "What John needed was a sort of a Victorian wife who would minister to him - almost a nursemaid."  Another expert says he thinks it would have been impossible for him to go on if he had not met Lady Elizabeth!  He says John and Elizabeth always lived in separate houses and that was the arrangement. (Yes there are some photos of her and the two together.) So at least there was an acknowledgement of her, unlike many an obituary; even the New York Times focused on the poetry and avoided his personal life.

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