Pamela believed that putting pressure on a man - any man - would make him leave, but she wasn't past making him jealous - or trying to.
Her son, Little Winston, was growing up. She went on a cruise with Greek ship owner Stavros Spyros Niarchos and Winston was included. By the mid 1950's her son was going to probably the best school for rich children there was and is - Le Rosey ( Institut Le Rosey ) in Switzerland. At thirteen Winston went on to Eton. He got to spend time with his remarried father. Her son had gotten used to changes in his mother's circumstances and being moved about. By the late 1950's Pamela was still unmarried. Elie De Rothschild was still in her life but it was going nowhere.
Pamela had a hysterectomy and now had abdominal scars and afterwards she started gaining weight again. There is some mystery attached to her decision to have this surgery, perhaps as a preventative or cancer. She was going to have to fight to keep her figure. Time was passing. \She made a decision to give up on Elie De Rothschild. And when she did so, she did so with gusto. It may have had to do with the fact that Little Winston was turning 20, an adult. She sold her apartments in London and Paris and headed for the United States.
In the States she met a Hollywood director, Leland Hayward. He was married a few times already and then to Slim Keith, an heiress to a half million from her father. Their marriage was no longer romantic. (Slim was the inspiration for actress Lauren Bacall's fashion.) He had children from previous marriages. He and Pamela fell for each other. They were married on May 4, 1960, hours after his divorce from Slim was final. Pamela now called herself Pamela Churchill Hayward and began her new role as the wife of a producer. She was never going to be a nurturing step-mother.
But Pamela also decided to be a working woman and decided to own her own Jansen Boutique in New York, even though she had no retailing experience. She was a good salesperson, hired good people, and stocked it with real antiques as well as good reproductions to appeal to designers and their clientele. She made a modest profit. She had her own money from inheritances and the generosity of men that she'd been kept by and some income too, but still she spent Leland Hayward's money. Hayward had a long successful carrier that began to diminish as he aged. Slowly they began to sell off collections of art and other possessions, saying they were moving to the country and downsizing. They still managed to vacation and live well. Pamela spent some of her own money too. Society had been impressed with Pamela in this last incarnation. She had been loyal and a good wife.
Then Leland had a stroke that partly paralyzed him. He died March 18, 1971, only 66 years old, thus ending a marriage of a bit over a decade. She was 51 and had no real money left. Though she inherited half the estate, the rest going to his children. She knew she had to move on again.
Pamela went back to Europe and stayed with her son Winston in his tiny apartment. She soon realized she was finished socially in Europe. She also felt herself to be more of an American. She went to France, then on a cruise, but she returned to America.
And that is where she soon met a man from her long ago past, who would become her third and final husband!
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Sally Bedell Smith's book Reflected Glory is the primary reference for this post.
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