Saturday, February 2, 2013


I met "Veronica" through friends.  She's in her fifties, has a great sense of her own style and pulls together her signature outfits - just a little showy yet conservative - by shopping vintage and thrift stores, but does she know how to shop!, and is still very pretty, no wrinkles, but then maybe that's because she's pleasingly plump.  Veronia is African American, and only in the last few years has she lived outside the Black community in a more integrated area. 

One day, sitting outside at a cafe lunching with her, a much younger man came by.  He was all smiles and she was blushing deeply, yes like a school girl.  Soon I realized that she was his Sugar Mama.

If you knew Veronica's life story you would be amazed that anyone could make her heart pound so, that she could blush, and have such a crush on any man.  She's overcome a lot of heartbreak and abuse.  Her mother was nowhere for her and her father a torment.

What makes Veronica's lifestyle so different is that she has not only supported herself since she was 16 years old but supported men less than willingly for years. 

Finally, she became independent and then she started supporting younger men by choice

The man who makes her her heart pound and her cheeks blush is 30 years younger than her and he knows he has a good thing going.  Veronica is aware that he is also dating and having sex with women his own age, though she hates to know it, but she still gives him a twenty here, a hundred there; more than once she gave him a couple thousand.  He knows that she is always watching his back and that he will always have a place to stay with her, if he chooses. 

Maybe she knows that the day will come when he leaves those flirtations behind and comes home to roost?

MORE AND MORE OFTEN I OVERHEAR MEN, especially younger men in their twenties, saying that they want to be stay-at-home fathers, or will let their wife work and support them.  They seem to feel very comfortable with the idea, and do not consider themselves to be "gigolos" or take on any other derogatory label.  Is this about the fact that men seem to have much better self esteem overall than women?

These men feel that the relationship is their private business.  They feel entitled to live better than they can afford to on their own income.  Some are artists or musicians and feel that artists have had wealthy patrons for centuries so why not them!

More than once a younger man has looked to me to be generous or support him.  Personally, I have to pass!

This month I celebrate the Sugar Mamas and Sugar Daddys out there!  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! 



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