A SPARKLING SMILE

 

LADY BLUE : LEON RUSSELL

Just one of my favorites...

SHOULD HE CHOOSE HIS SENTIMENTAL FAVORITE OR THE WOMAN HE'S SEEING? : OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hey Missy,

I'm in love with two women. One is my high school girlfriend, I'll call her Marie. We broke up years ago. We talk on the phone a couple times a year and see each other maybe once or twice. Usually to lunch. No messing around. She had a boyfriend for a couple years and they broke up. She's gone on dates but hasn't been in another relationship. When we get together, I think we're still attracted. I just think we were too young and it couldn't happen then. My bro says, "She's just your sentimental favorite.  Move on!"

The other, I'll call her Annie, and me have been dating for about a year and a half. She's terrific. Ok, both women are my type. I like tall blondes and I like women who have a lot to say. Annie says she is ready to make more of a commitment to me and our relationships. What stops me from asking Annie to move in with me is that I feel guilty. I always feel like I'm cheating on Marie.  Which is why I think my heart has always belonged to her. 

I'm 26 and Marie and Annie are 25. 

Robert

New Jersey

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Congratulations Robert!  You now know that loving more than one person at a time is possible. Actually I think it happens more than what is admitted to. I also know the pressure is on to choose one woman. That's the expectations of our society most of the time to be involved with only one person at a time. Mainly you are not comfortable with it. 

High school wasn't too long ago.

I understand you have a friendship with Marie that you value and have not actually "cheated' on Annie. That would be a healthy keep-her kind of friendship but for the fact that you feel guilty because you can't give Annie what she's ready for and you might be if only Marie were not in your life.  Also it doesn't sound like Marie is actually doing or saying anything that would give you the impression she would like you back, though she may just be respecting that you're involved with Annie.

It would be true to tell Annie that you are "not ready" for more of a commitment to her. Don't have her move in. You do not have to tell her about your feelings for Marie. That's for you to figure out. I think you need to call Marie and ask her out to lunch. Or take a walk in the park. Ask her if she ever thinks of you in a romantic way, if there is any spark there. Give her the chance to be honest and respect what she says.

If she's willing to give it another go, probably you need to tell Annie you need to take a break.

That's the best I can do with advice on this one.

Let me know what happens Robert!

Missy

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IS COUGER A BAD TERM TO USE ON WOMEN WHO ARE SEXUAL AGRESSORS?

GOOD MEN PROJECT ETHICS : STUFF WE SHOULD STOP DOING : CALLING WOMEN COUGARS  by Yashar Ali.

A terrific think piece...

EXCERPT :  I also think it's important to mention that "cougar" carries a connotation of predatory behavior,  As i, A) the woman could only et the younger man by chasing after him like a rabid animal and B) the woman's personality has no part in the relationship, that the guy she's dating must only be with her so he can have wild, crazy sex or because she's rich.  Or C) where cougars are often portrayed in a desperate ight, as if they have nothing better to do that "chase" after younger men.  yet the men in these relationships aren't insulted or derided, even though they are adults who are consciously deciding to be in relationships with older women.

I urge you to click and learn more about terms such as Trophy Wife, Sugar Daddy, and so on...

1939 PAINTING OF DORIS DELEVINGNE VALUED AT HALF A MILLION POUNDS

About two years ago it was revealed that a painting of Doris Delevingne was up for auction at Christies,  Called THE VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE, PALM SPRINGS by Sir John Lavery, painted in 1938 and valued at 400,000 - 600,000 pounds, it pictures the woman sitting on a diving board showing off her famous legs.  (That's right, the price of a house.) Included in this article is a photo of Doris on a ship headed for Los Angeles and another of her in a mermaid evening gown.

I believe Doris was tired of the life she had lead but knew nothing else and was in despair when she overdosed on sleeping pills at age 42 but I do think that by that age, with the younger generation coming up, she may have been too notorious to ever expect another marriage.

TATLER : PORTRAIT OF VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE

THIS DINKY THING?

 

DORIS DELEVINGNE, VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE HAS RANDOLPH CHURCHILL and WINSTON TOO?

From the article by Lyndsy Spence

...  Randolph, too fell under her spell and they began an affair. ‘I hear you’re living with my wife,’ Castlerosse bellowed down the telephone not long after they were married. ‘Yes, I am,’ answered the younger Churchill, ‘which is more than you have the courtesy to do.’ 

It appears that there is some evidence that Winston was not just having Doris come over to sit while he painted her.

THE GUARDIAN : SECRET AFFAIR - WINSTON CHURCHILL and DORIS DELEVINGNE  Good photos add to this article!  A documentary in 2018 included the information that yes, Churchill had succumbed and had an affair with Doris.

EXCERPT : Churchill spent four holidays with Castlerosse ... in the south of France during the 1930's when he was out of office.  During this time Churchill painted at least two portraits of his lover - he only ever painted one of his wife, Clementine 0 and they continued to meet at her home back in London. ... "My mother had many stories to tell about (the affair) when they stayed in my aunt's house in Berkeley Square," Doris's niece =, Caroline Delvingne, recalls in the Delevingne family's first televised interview about the affair.  "When Winston was coming to visit her, the staff were all given the day off. ... But when war threatened and Churchill's career revived, he ended the relationship.

According to this article, Doris went to America, New York, where she was not able to continue her lifestyle.  She was not that old, in 1942 when the War came, she was desperate to get back to England and is said to have used one of Churchill's paintings to remind him of their affair.  He arranged a rare seat on a plane to get her there.

Love letters that Doris wrote to Winston surfaced in the 1950's and were shown to Clementine.

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WHAT FINGER SHOULD I WEAR THIS ON?

 

DORIS DELEVINGNE BECOMES MRS. BROWNE - VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE

 

Valentine Edward Charles Browne was not the heir apparent of an Irish earldom.  His brother was. But when his brother died, his parents had to consider the son who they thought not well of. They had never liked him or approved of him. They didn't even like the way he looked or that he showed no signs of physical elegance like they did. It must have been tough growing up with such disapproving parents.* When his brother died, the title was his to do with as he pleased and what he pleased. Valentine decided to work for a living as a Journalist.

'In those early days, Castlerosse and Doris were destined not to meet. While he frequented the Saint James nightclub in Mayfair, she slipped through the doors of the Four Hundred and Ambassador nightclubs with Gertie (the actress Gertrude Lawrence) and their louche set.'

Castlerosse had just gone through some romantic disasters and his confidence was low but he was not a target for a seductress like Doris - at first. Perhaps there was a before and after inheritance Valentine?

In 1928 Doris married this unattractive man, though she seemed to be the embodiment of a Gold Digger. She, at about age 28,  became Viscountess Castlerosse. The woman had exceeded the expectations of women born into the middle class as she had been and was now a titled member of the aristocracy. And though, yes, she had slept around, and yes, she had allowed some men to spend a lot of money to make her happy, she was still young, and the marriage might have given the impression that Doris had just been sleeping around in search of a good husband..

Now, I'll carry the story a little further with the help of very interesting website I found called THE MITFORD SOCIETY. I note that Doris' story varies a bit from one book or article to another, but  THE MITFORD SOCIETY : DORIS DELEVINGNE THE CONSTANT COURTESAN  is a blog that is created by Lyndsy Spence, the author of the book The Mistress of Mayfair! In this article, there is no mention of Doris having worked or having a business. She is portrayed as without guilt for numerous sexual liaisons but also strategically working her way up. (Never the less, I can say that I adore this blog and see that the author is much interested as I am.)

Valentine Edward Charles Browne, 6th Earl of Kenmare, Viscount Castlerosse from 1905 to 1941 was "Fat, nasty, and broke, though she cared little for is financial status, for she herself had become rich from the money she hoarded off her rich admirers, she set her sights on his title and his castle in County Kerry.... Quite tellingly, they married in secret, for Castlerosse was too afraid to tell his parents that his wife was a haberdasher's daughter from Beckenham. Still, marriage meant nothing to Doris and she peddled on with her seduction of rich men - her husband, after all, needed the money."  *** 

* My opinion

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IS IT REAL?

 

SURPLUS WOMEN IN BRITAIN AFTER WORLD WAR I

WWICENTENARY - SURPLUS WOMEN AFTER WORLD WAR II 

It might help to understand what the women of Great Britain faced after World War I, which is a man shortage.  This effected marriage prospects and increased a need and desire for employment.  In this interesting article, which comes from World War I Centenary, 

It begins: More than 700,000 British men were killed during World War One.  This tragic loss of life affected the lives of young women in 1920's Britain.  Virginia Nicholson has discussed in her 2007 book, Singled Out, the difficulties of unmarried women following the gender imbalance of the population which followed World War One.  The  middle classes were especially affected with a higher proportion of officers killed than those in lower ranks.  The 700,000 deaths resulted in a particularly large gap between the male and female populations of people aged 25 -34 with 1.158,000 unmarried women and 919,000 unmarried me, according to the 1921 census.

HOW DORIS DELEVINGNE GOT CALLED "THE GIRL WITH THE GLOVES" and OWNED SEVERAL HUNDRED PAIRS OF SHOES

 

As Doris Delevingne climbed socially to mingle with high society of the 1920's, she went about London town with her best friend and co-conspirator, an actress named Gertrude Lawrence and established a second hand evening gown business that catered to the needs of actresses and showgirls. There's a rumor that for a short time she tried out being a chorus girl herself, however it is thought that she was working more as a Hostess. There were underground clubs in London in those days and one of them was in Grafton Galleries, an art gallery by day and nightclub after dark. While partying there, Doris was always seen wearing opera gloves. These are the classic gloves that come up past one's elbow and are usually worn with sleeveless dresses. She wore white opera gloves. Or she wore black ones. (Many other colors were available.) And so when people saw her across the room they would identify her as "the girl who wore gloves." Gloves were required of the women who danced there, not on stage, but on the floor with patrons of the club.

Gertie's friends were considered to be "Cafe Society, ' a rarified social group composed of international socialites and aristocrats who were known to one another personally, or by reputation. She also wanted to rise in society.

Want to know more about the history of gloves? This VINTAGEDANCER.COM GLOVES site has an impressive story and pictures.

According to the book The Mistress of Mayfair, Mayfair being a part of London known to be posh, by Lyndsy Spence, Doris' first serious affair was with Stephen "Laddie" Sanford, a polo player worth 40 million pounds.  She went shopping with his largesse and bought 200 pairs of custom Italian shoes, wearing each pair no more than four times.  She bought silk stockings by the dozen and wore them only once. What did she do with all those "worn" shoes and stockings? She gave them to chorus girls who could not afford them.

Laddie was educated at Cambridge and was an American who had become famous for winning the 1923 Grand National, which is a National Hunt horse race held in Liverpool where horses leap over 30 fences.  he set up a house in London and Doris moved in, only to find that Edwina, Lady Mountbatten was competing to get Laddie. When Edwina won that bout, Doris moved on to Sir Edward MacKay Edgar, closer to 50 than her 20-something, he was also rich enough to buy anything he wanted, including his title.

It was after these temporary Mistress gigs that Doris met the man she would marry,

As for her jewelry collection that would eventually come from exclusive jewelers such as Cartier and Schiaparelli. Those she didn't give away like shoes and stockings.

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WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

DORIS DELEVINGNE : THE GIRL WITH THE BEAUTIFUL LEGS : VISCOUNTESS CASTLEROSSE : AN EARLY 20TH CENTURY FOX

In August 2018 I profiled Doris Delevingne as one of the Mistresses of the Riviera and which used Mary Lovell's book as a primary reference. I'll be focusing on this unconventional woman more this month!  The surname Delevingne has origins in French Belgium but she was raised British.

DORIS DELEVINGNE

Jesse Doris Delevingne

Photo appeared in Turkish Media SonSoz

"The Girl With The Gloves"

1900 - 1942

Married Valentine Edward Charles Browne, Viscount Castlerosse in 1928

and became

Viscountess Castlerosse

Doris Delevingne was a woman born into a modest family without great riches but with aristocratic yearnings. Even elite women of her generation rarely were educated and were moved towards marriage rather than careers. She was not close to her parents and didn't come from a big warm family. Perhaps she realized that if she wanted to have an interesting life she would have to make it happen on her own. Unlike her mother, she was able to complete what would be considered to be grade school in the United States. However, as a young woman she defied expectations. She set up her own business in what was called "the rags trade," second hand, used clothing, a trade dominated by Jews. 

An actress named Gertrude Lawrence, reportedly rather crude, was her first inspiration. Together the friends worked on themselves, such as attempting to have a more pleasing voices, though they both used foul language, and dressing in the latest fashions. Associating with actresses and chorus girls, Doris's business focused on reselling evening dresses but she was ambitious for herself - especially for good jewels. Doris was forthright with her opinions and the men she was attracted to were attracted to her; rebels, playboys, the unconventional people. She was discreet about naming her lovers and became predatory towards men. Did she use contraception? Yes. (There was also an element of society that used doctor-provided abortion, not saying she did.) However, some of her liaisons became known - and one of them was the married Winston Churchill.

One of her first conquests was the then Prince of Wales, who threw parties at Saint James palace. She mingled with the aspect of British aristocracy called "the adulterous set." (Think swingers.) But she did not evade marriage entirely. Instead she married badly.  Her husband was no inspiration for faithfulness.

In my previous single post that focused on Doris as one of the Riviera set, this is what I said:

MISTRESS DORIS DELEVINGNE: THE MODEL WITH THE GOLDEN HAIR

In the summer of 1932, Maxine opened her villa for limited occupation. Located at the Golfe Juan between Antibes and Cannes, it would be open for the May to October season and rarely had more than 10 guests at a time but guests also brought their own staffs to stay.

Her best friend became Doris Delevingne, aka Doris Lady Castlerosse, who at 19 became a model, known for her gold hair. There was a saying about the sexual Doris that went, "An English Woman's castle is her bed."  Doris fell for an American Polo Player who had no title but was rich, Stephen "Laddie" Sanford.

As his mistress, Doris was set up in her own smart little Park Lane apartment where she was looked after, though Laddie started another affair years later with her neighbor there.  But when they split she got a good settlement!

Doris moved on and became the mistress of a Canadian financier who bought her a house in Mayfair, London. She had servants at the house and a chauffeur to drive her Rolls.

At 25, she was using the money she received as gifts from her lovers to make investments and also had a clothing business.  Doris also opened a hair salon in the Chaps Elysee, Paris.

Doris liked to go shopping in Italy and would return with hundreds of leather shoes because she wore her stockings once and a pair of shoes only 2 or 3 times. She'd give her once worn stockings away to the less affluent daughters of the aristocracy who couldn't afford them.  The flapper style suited her and so did wearing the flapper style without underwear.

Doris was well liked.  She was warm hearted, clever and witty and made a party ignite.  She never made quips at someone else's expense. She seemed to have unlimited energy as she went to Court Balls and Country House weekends..

She made the sign of the cross, saying "Tiara, Brooch, Clip, Clip!"

Then in 1926, Doris met Valentine Castlerosee, the Earl of Kenmare heir.  He may have been near 300 pounds and have a boisterous personality but he thought Doris was sexy and elegant. They went out in London, Cannes, Deaville, Monte Carlo, and then they married.  She got the title Viscountess Castlerosse.

The marriage was a disaster. He gambled and his debts grew.  He had a temper. They both spent excessively on clothes. He was unfaithful but also jealous when she was. He wanted to proceed with a divorce due to her adultery but his mother told him not to: she wanted to save the family reputation.

Cara Delevingne, the model, is her great niece. 

    

The primary reference for the above re- post is the book "The Riviera Set" by Mary Lovell

One of the references for this month's posts.

The Mistress of Mayfair

Men Money and Marriage of Doris Delevingne by Lyndsy Spence

Doris's life came to an end in 1942, not long after she returned to England after appealing to Winston Churchill to help her get a seat on a plane so she could leave America, where she was not a success.  She commit suicide by poison in a hotel room.

Let's together learn more about this notorious seductress!

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All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

WHAT DISTINGUISHES MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT? WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

Is this your first time to visit my blog?  

My Regular Readers are as curious as I am about the alternative lifestyle that I call Mistressing that has been going on for centuries. We're interested in Polyamory and Polygamy, man sharing, and relationships aside or including marriage. We're interested in the history of being Kept, in Courtesans, and in the more contemporary women who have lived the Mistress Lifestyle. Though from a heterosexual woman's experience, Mistress Manifesto is LGBTQ Friendly. ***

We know there are Many Ways To Love. 

While I no doubt have an Opinion, a Point of View, and you'll find in these pages Relationship Advice that I give to those who ask Questions, I try to keep an open mind and be fair to my subjects. Tucked away in my archives are also Declarations For Mistresses. You see, I don't automatically think that The Other Woman is a Bad Woman, or that having the experiences of being involved with a man who already has a wife should mean being blocked from success in life if you move on. I'm for Choice, and to have a choice you need to be informed and think it through.

Every Month I feature a Mistress (or Mantress), someone who has lived a lifestyle that is an alternative to traditional marriage or special topic. (Not all of those who have tried it like it or are successful at it.) We talk sexuality here because that aspect of our humanness is necessarily part of the topic, but this is not the blog to read if you're looking for explicit XXX rated images or titillations. Over the years researching and writing this blog has deepened my understanding and if you read here, maybe that will happen to you too.

After years of researching and writing this blog, I still think the most successful of such relationships may be ones we will never know about. I work hard to find people who are worthy of the Mistress title.  My coverage includes but isn't exclusive to Royal Mistresses.

It's not always easy going yet I'm amazed that just when I think maybe I won't find another worthy subject, someone new comes up. 

But what about that label "Mistress"?  Or "Courtesan?" Or "Sugar?" Discretion demands that one not notify the media in a desire for fame - or revenge - by using Social Media, as an example. That is why I discount the "Mistress" term as one that is overused by the media itself in an attempt to sensationalize brief affairs with celebrities. I've looked at lists of "Mistresses" in articles on the Internet and crossed out most or all of the names on them. However, I've personally compiled my own lists of people worthy of these posts and look forward to continuing my quest to find and nominate our Mistress of the Month.

Do you want to be a Mistress? Are you a man who wants a Mistress? Perhaps you are making a decision about your life...a relationship you're thinking about. Well, you'll be able to link to books I've selected and read, read excerpts that are telling, as well as articles by other writers and videos by other creators that I've judiciously selected.

I welcome you to Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot and encourage you to come back!

Missy

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All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

*** Be sure to leave your suggestions with references or links for me to look at when you know of someone I should cover. While I'm willing to include people of various sexualities most of the books that have been published are on heterosexual relationships. Check out my COMMENTS POLICY in Pages!

A NEW YEAR

My first Mistress of the Month post will be on January 5th, 2022.  

Until then, make a cup of tea and settle into the Archives!