THE MAN

 

"CELEBRITY MISTRESSES" WHO REALLY WERE NOT and the MEN WHO DIDN'T KEEP THEM : MISSY SPEAKS

In searching for people to feature on this blog, I sometimes do internet searches to see what's up. I've found so many articles that use the term CELEBRITY MISTRESSES. While many of these articles are correct about the fact that there has been adultery, they are rarely correct about the terms and conditions of the relationship. Affairs, even extremely brief events, are turned into relationships. Relationships, some of which end in someone's divorce and remarriage are not the same as the relationship between a person who has negotiated being in a long relationship with another person and is closer to being a second spouse. One article I found was right on about various celebrity men and their "baby mamas" but there is no evidence that any of these women who (sorry to say) stupidly had babies with men who use their celebrity to whore around were their Mistresses. (I'd love to know about the child support issues.)

However, we are in the process here of DEFINING Mistress. If you page through my archives you'll get a feeling for the people who I've featured thus far and why. Sometimes I elect someone an Honorary Mistress. I don't think Monica Lewinsky ever was but I've featured her and also said, in so many words, Get Off Her Back! I suspect Anna Bey once was and decided she wanted a different life. Isadora Duncan was, with Paris Singer who was her arts patron as well who helped her survive in Paris and move towards her dream of a dancing school. Although a woman can be financially independent and a Mistress, the rich man who can afford to "Keep" or "Help" a woman is more likely to have a Mistress. Do I believe Sarah Symonds, who was a Mistress to a famous married chef?  Yes. I do. Bill Gates? I doubt it. Women throwing themselves at his feet?  Probably.

In several articles, Marilyn Monroe is identified as a Mistress because she supposedly had affairs with President Kennedy  and his brother Robert. This tale has been repeated and taken on more and more "fact" as time goes on, yet the overly married Marilyn who also was, reportedly, quite the sexual adventurer for her time, and may even been expected to sleep with various Hollywood power players to have a career, had to know that having sex and having a relationship could be two different things. I pity her and the women who, like her, felt or knew they had to have sex with men in order to have a career. However, Marilyn was a Mistress early in her life with an agent named Johnny Hyde. 

Tiger Woods is a man who is linked with many women who are called Mistresses because of their affairs with him while he was married. I have no reason to think any of them were. I tend to discount any reportage that calls women who have had affairs with celebrities Mistresses. So NO Rachel Uchitel was not a Mistress.

And hell no Amy Fisher was not a Mistress to Joey Buttafuoco.

There are a lot of celebrities, and that includes politicians, who didn't seem to mind that someone is married or that they are married, when they meet someone else who is willing, they have affairs. Affairs sometimes turn into a remarriage or the Mistress relationship, but my thinking on this is that these people are too high profile to have private lives and that some of them use their drama to fuel their fame. 

I don't think in this day and age it's possible to have a Classic Mistress if you're a celebrity but if you have a whole lot of money you can make it happen, if the Mistress is capable of being discreet, which probably means she is not aiming for fame herself. Even if a person compartmentalizes their life, a reporter is on the story.

Missy

C 2021 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

Monica Lewinsky featured March 2012

Marilyn Monroe featured May 2012

Isadora Duncan featured February 2016

Anna Bey featured May 2021 

I

BLUE ROYAL

 

WOULD THE TRUTH HAVE COME OUT IF IT WERE NOT FOR THIS BOOK? PAOLA by MARIO DANNEELS

The author was a teenager when he started researching.  An unknown without royal connections, Mario Danneels just thought that Queen Paola was an interesting person who he wanted to write a biography of. Maybe because he was so young he was not thought to be a threat. Soon rumors reached his ears that the King had a love child, Delphine, and that it was an Open Secret. Though the fact was briefly stated in a one-liner in the book, it broke the story and scandal. Mario Danneels continues to be a journalist today. but reportedly lives in Ireland.  Published in 1999, he was working on this book for many years.

Titled "Paola From La Dolce Vita To Queen," I'm sorry to say that I was unable to obtain a copy to read it.  

Born Donna Paola Margherita Maria Antonia Consiglia Ruffo do Calabria, in 1937, this Italian Catholic woman's beauty in the 1950's was compared to that of actress turned Princess, Grace Kelly. The Queen is not just a beautiful woman, but also a devout Catholic who has many talents and interests.

\ROYAL CENTRAL WHO IS QUEEN PAOLA OF BELGIUM

EXCERPT:  It is during this period that Prince Albert is believed to have fathered Dephine Boel (according to her own claims) with Sybille de Selys Longchamps.  it is also believed that in this period, Princess Paola herself was also seeing other men.  However, despite the struggles the pair have faced in their marriage, their relationship improved from the early 1980's, and the couple has chosen to stay together.  In an interview for her 70th birthday in 2007, Paola addressed the subject, saying, "We've had our problems but now we both say that we were meant for each other. We are very happy now.

... About her wedding, when it was thought that Albert's brother was the one who would become King...

EXCERPT: The Royal Household originally wanted to plan a Vatican wedding, with a blessing by Pope John XXIII, however, despite the diplomatic mission to the Pontifical court being led by the groom's father, former King Leopold III of Belgium, his aunt the exiled Queen Marie-Joe of Italy and the bride's brother, Prince Ruffo, the Belgian government denied the wishes of the court and refused to accept the proposal.  The Pope understood the government's concern, never agreeing to partake in the wedding ceremony.  After some deliberation, an international scandal was avoided as the wedding was planned to take place on Belgian soil.

...I have the notion that King Albert II and his wife also felt after such close ties with the Vatican that they could not divorce and be bad examples...

C 2021 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved

DELPHINE IS TRIUMPHANT and HAS A FIRST MEETING WITH EMERITUS KING ALBERT II and QUEEN PAO

Delphine Boel is now PRINCESS DELPHINE of BELGIUM (Delphine Michele Anne Marie Ghislaine de Saxe-Cobourg)  Because of her mother's rank in the aristocracy of Belgium she was already considered to be of nobility.  The article linked to below is about all being forgiven after years of denial and court battle.

Her daughter is now Princess Josephine and her son is now Prince Oscar.

This article from THE NEW YORK TIMES : BELGIUM'S PRINCESS DELPHINE MEETS WITH HER FATHER by Megan Specia... from October 2020

EXCERPT: ... Ms. Boel, 52, who was awarded the right to use the royal title Princess Delphine this  month, formally met with her father and his wife, Queen Paola.

A statement jointly issued by Princess Delphine, King Albert II, 86, and Queen Paola, 83, said their meeting had opened a new chapter "full of emotion, understanding and , also, hope."

...

"After the tumult, the wounds and the suffering, comes the time of forgiveness, healing and reconciliation," the statement read.  "This is the patient, sometimes difficult path that we have decided to take resolutely together.  Thee first steps pave the peaceful course which it is now up to us to pursue."

I note that Delphine, who was born in 1968, was seventeen when her mother told her that King Albert II was her birth father.  Until then her mother told her that he was a best friend.

UPSTANDING

 

A BELGIUM KING OR FORMER KING HAS NEVER BEEN BROUGHT TO JUSTICE IN BELGIAN HISTORY

In this Vanity Fair article from the January 2020 edition, writer Erin Vanderhoof, which came out before the decision, it says that Dephine would not receive a title or be in the line of succession to the throne.  I think that she is now a Princess but prefers not to use a title and it's true the succession was not an issue between her and her birth father's family.

VANITY FAIR BELGIUM KING ALBERT II DNA TEST PATERNITY 

 EXCERPT:  Longchamps (i.e. Sybille de Selys Longchamps) claims that Albert was not furious when she became pregnant, and that he even sent flowers after her (giving)birth. "It was a beautiful period," she said. "Delphine was a love child. Albert was not the father figure, but he was very sweet to her."

(The legal wrangling went on seven years.)

It doesn't necessarily end all of the legal wrangling: Boel may still be entitled to a portion of Albert's fortune that has been estimated to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars.  But it does end the portion of the case that might have had a constitutional impact had Albert refused the test, because a king or former king has never been brought to justice in Belgian history.

THE ARTIST DELPHINE TELLS 60 MINUTES HER STORY

From November 2020  60 Minutes Australia

"I will always stay an artist."  Delphine   She is a painter and sculptor.

GORGEOUS

 

CHASING MEN? : OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY:

Hi Missy

There is so much dating advice on the Internet, lots of YouTube videos put up by experts, and they mostly seem to say women should not chase men. Is Biology as Destiny still the thing? What's your opinion?

Mercedes

Nevada

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Hi Mercedes!

Life sure is more complicated because there are no longer strong rules based on gender about courtship behavior which we as a Western society overall wanted to be liberated from.  A hundred years ago a kiss could be taken for a promise of marriage in some sets. Do women really want to go back there to the days when a woman who had sex before marriage might be condemned for it, even be forced into prostitution because no one would marry her? 

Do men? 

I doubt it. 

However, people are confused, not only about what the right thing to do is, but what it is they personally want. 

What some people want is traditional gender roles in which the man pursues. 

There's also so many more opportunities to meet people because of the Internet - matchmaking - social networking - dating clubs - if you're interested.  I'm not attracted to that experience and have not tried it to this point.  I think meeting people in person is the best.

I was sitting at an outdoor table at a coffee house recently when a man asked if he could sit with me. There were no other tables open. This place is temporarily important to me because it has outdoor tables. What could I say?

He proceeded to talk about himself and his sex adventures. 

I found myself interested to a point. I thought, "Research for my blog!" 

After a bit I thought this man was simply a self-obsessed obnoxious bore. His phone was alerting him to one woman after another messaging him of her interest from one site after another. He said he felt he should "show respect" by responding to these women quickly.  I asked him if he was addicted to these alerts.  He said maybe.

He told me about three women he was having sex with, one he called "a hairy beast" who he had suggested a Brazilian to! Here he was naming women and saying who was or was not good at sex. The red headed Jewish actress who says she loves sex. The blond WASP heiress who says she isn't looking for marriage. The executive who seems to keep putting her business before him. Of course he's a lonely man and very likely a sex addict who should probably seek therapy. What about these women? Are they sex addicts too?  Do they think they've started up something exclusive with him?  I'm sure they have no idea that he's sitting with a woman and talking his sex with them. 

Besides his cell phone ringing with new women who claim interest in him, he said he was part of a group of five people who all agreed they could call each other up any time for a bootie call. It sounded civilized. At least among them this had been discussed and agreed upon.  I wondered if there was bisexuality in the group.

He had told me about walking down the Boardwalk with a camera years ago and how easy it was to take women back to his studio and have sex with them. Considering that today we must be concerned about so many SIDS, I listened without saying what I thought. 

Did he care about my opinion?  Probably not.  Does he think of me as a woman?  Probably not. (But he would still have sex with me if I said I wanted to because an addict is an addict.)  Did he think he was making me interested in him?  I was not - at all.

There are a lot of men like him because they are spoiled by women who offer so much, sometimes competitively, to men for so little. These are the advocates of sex as free who might ask you if you are "free spirited."

There are men who learn "tricks" for picking up women. Some men will say anything - even that they will marry you.

Women, if your self assessment is that this (sex) is just what you want to experience at this time of your life, at least use contraception and practice safer sex. Be concerned about your fertility and your health if not your emotions.

What if none of these women were signaling their interest in him?  What if his phone wasn't ringing with women who think they are interested in him based on a photo and a profile that brags his accomplishments?  What if he had to get out there and meet women in person, do the choosing and the wooing?  

Because of this type of man, I think it's in a woman's best interested to not initiate contact with a man or men. Will not contacting them prevent you from meeting such men?  No, but not initiating contact might cut down on the numbers of men a woman has to delete from her experience. If you're using the Internet to meet someone special, be sober about it. Even small rejections that happen well before there ever was a relationship can add up and hurt you.

I think at least initially a woman should let a man pursue her. I think "Slow down!"  If "All He Wants is Sex" he will not invest time in you. He will not show interest in your life, your experiences, your opinions. He will limit knowing you to knowing your body. If a relationship is established, a woman can be more contributing and initiating. Letting him start things up isn't a life sentence of repressed, traditional femininity.  Rather it's one of your filters.

Missy

C 2021  Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

BELGIUM OFFICIAL MONARCHY SITE

 BELGIUM OFFICIAL MONARCHY SITE 

King Albert II stepped down 3 July 2013.  He reigned from 9 August 1993 to 21 July 2013. His son Crown Prince Philippe is now King.

The official Belgium Monarchy Site makes no mention of Princess Delphine or her children, even though they won their heritage titles..

She seems to prefer her life in Great Britain. 

NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE

NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE HOTLINE 

800-799-7233

I've run this number before and to honor Gabby Petito. the young woman who may have been murdered while in a relationship that included Domestic Violence, I'm running it again. 

You might also want to click on tabs below and see where else in this blog I've blogged about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.  You might want to read about Bernie Tiedi, for instance. 

You can call this number out of concern for someone else as well and they promise the person you talk to will not be judgmental.

This blog stands for CHOICE which can sometimes be a Privilege. 

I think just about anyone can find themselves in a relationship that becomes abusive, sometimes from the start, sometimes over many years.  Not everyone who is in a relationship that has abuse in it realizes it right away.  Notions such as that abuse is always physical may prevent a person from realizing that they are in an abusive relationship.  Abuse can go both ways as well and is not always men abusing women. 

Sometimes something as simple as couple's counseling can make a big difference.  It may help to be in a therapist's office where both people can speak their truth. 

Sometimes a person may need to be clever in order to get out of an abusive situation. 

Covid shut downs put pressure on some relationships as has the overall economic situation in the United States and other countries.

Check in with yourself frequently and ask yourself how you feel about other people in your life.

Recently I've been watching YouTube videos about Narcissism. I've learned that several people who I had in my friendship circle through the years have this personality disorder.

If you grew up as an abused child, you may think abuse in an adult relationship is normal and not a problem.  

I'm often asked if Mistresses are all in relationships that are abusive.  My answer is no, not all. You do not have to be a person with a deficit in self esteem to be Kept or in a relationship that cannot move towards legal marriage.  Ideally everyone involved is honest with themselves and others so that adult decisions can be made. Marriage is not for everyone, nor is monogamy, and many people have more than one person to love at a time in their lives, though the pressure to conform to societal expectations can drive people to keep a secret of a relationship.  

Remember that it's common to idealize another person when in the first stage of a relationship. Eventually we must decide if we want to continue with a person who does not meet our expectations. How realistic are our expectations?  That answer may be very different based on a number of factors such as your age, employment and education, and history of relationships.

If you know or suspect your relationship is harming you in some way, try to get more information.

If you arrived at this site by cell phone or home computer, you may want to erase the history so that someone else who can have access to your phone or computer does not know you have this number. Write down the number and keep it elsewhere. I know phone booths are rare but there may be other places that you can make phone calls out without being tracked.

LOVING THE ONE YOU'RE WITH INCLUDES LOVING YOURSELF.

Missy

FROM THE FIELDS

 

COVERAGE OF THE COURT HEARING FOR DELPHINE BOEL's PATERNITY

PURETREND MAGAZINE : LA BARONNE SYBILLE DE SELYS (Coverage of the Court Hearings for Delphines' Paternity) has picture goods and is in French by Catherine Brezeky.

I will EXCERPT in English. 

(Delphine is age 48.)

It is therefore now in court that the case is played.  And it turns out to be rather complicated.  Indeed, the father of the current King, Philippe of Belgium, opposes the practice of a paternity test to determine whether or not Delphine Boel is indeed his daughter.  Jacques Boel, the "father" of the complainant did it and the result is clear" she is not his biological descendant.

... According to her, it would result from the bond maintained for ten years between her mother, Baroness Sybille de Selys Longchanps and the ex-sovereign in the 1960's But it is without counting on the negations of Albert II, who refuses to recognize her as his legitimate child.

NOTE; Elsewhere I have seen it stated that the relationship was 18 years long but as this has translated to 10, I will not correct or challenge that here.

PURPLE ROYAL

 

THE BARONESS SYBILLE DE SELYS LONGCHAMPS SPEAKS

FLANDERS NEWS :ALBERT WANTED TO GO AND LIVE IN THE UK  From September 2013.  A good picture of Sybille too.

Note that a Baroness in Great Britain is referred to as Lady. This article, in French, will be EXCERPTED by me in English. The baroness also heard the conditions for any possible divorce.  Albert would have to give up his rights in the line of succession and share his grant with Paola.  The baroness would also be banned from seeing Albert's children.  

"When I read this I understood he was getting divorced because of me.  It would never have worked.  I didn't want responsibility for destabilizing the crown.  The fate of the country was more important than my fate."

The article goes on to say that the King's brother signed the divorce papers so he did not stop it.  It was she who decided not to go forward.  She also says the Catholic Church was involved in the King and Queen's marriage.

LEANING TOWARDS THE OVERCAST

 

SYBILLE DE SELYS LONGCHAMPS : MISTRESS OF KING ALBERT II of BELGIUM and MOTHER OF ARTIST DELPHINE BOEL : 18 YEARS OF LOVE IS NOT A SEX SCANDAL

It seems every Royal house has it's scandals but the one that occurred in Belgium and got international attention a couple years ago is not one that I could ignore. In April of 2020 I posted about the book that had come out in 1999 about Queen Paola that was supposed to be the outing that pushed the issue. I wanted to see how it all played out and also I wondered if I could perhaps give this story a different angle before I posted. In 2013 legal action began in Belgium. That time has come.

SYBILLE DE SELYS LONGCHAMPS

1941 - ALIVE

Sybille is still alive, as is King Albert II of Belgium, but perhaps there would be no story if it were not that Albert astutely refused to be identified as Delphine Boel's father until he was forced by Belgium courts to take a DNA test. It was the day he abdicated and no longer could hide from legal action that their daughter, Delphine, decided to take that action. He was about seventy-nine years old and was still married to his one and only wife, Queen Paola. What was Delphine's motivation?

It wasn't that the King had never been in her life. Sybille, her mother, was the King's Mistress for eighteen years and as one article stated, eighteen years is not a sex scandal. Yes, he was a married man and he was not King yet. He'd married one of the most beautiful women in the world, compared often with Grace Kelly at the time, Paola Ruffo di Calabria, an Italian noble woman. They met and were married within months, in 1959, and had three children. He knew of Delphine's birth in 1968. It was towards the end of what is sometimes called "The Swinging Sixties." Had the devout Catholic King been influenced to go with the easy sexuality of the era or was he just not happily married? Albert II of Belgium had been around Delphine as she was growing up, though he says he did not make important decisions about how she was raised. The relationship and her existence was an open secret in royal circles. Why had he fought so hard to avoid recognition of a love child? 

It is my opinion that Albert II's resistance was not just about reputation or pride but had to do with money and eventual inheritance, not just of titles, but a substantial percentage of the net worth he possesses as a King, I think he did not want to fork that over eventually because even Kings can go broke. Belgium is a small country and one that we rarely hear about in the media. Few remaining Royals want to give up their positions coming from families who have so much to do with history, who have had power and authority, even if they no longer do.  Belgium has a type of government called Federal Parliamentary Democracy. It's more like Great Britain than the United States. In this case the government of Belgium proved to be more powerful than the King.

Albert II may have also felt that Delphine's defacto father, her mother's husband Jacques, a billionaire + with more money than he, amply provided for Delphine and would and that he was already the father figure in her life. This is the decision many men make, particularly if there is a divorce and their wife remarries and a stepfather is living in a household with the children. Like other extra-matrimonial children of Mistresses to rich men, Delphine and her mother were not entirely abandoned or impoverished.

Both Delphine's parents were Belgium nobility and so she was already a Countess. 

As well, within noble households, traditionally, when a married man's wife has a child it is considered to be his, to support and raise. That's the ethic. 

Some nobles would wait to seduce a married woman until she had birthed an heir so there could be no confusion about those heirs. Of course every situation is different.

Before it was all over Delphine also got tried in the media. The question came up, was she doing this to her birth father because she wanted or needed money? (What if she did? I'm rather disgusted with reading in the press the suggestion that any woman poorer than the person she is suing is not seeking justice, just going after money. This excuse to get away with bad behavior is sometimes used by celebrities.) The existence of Boel and his money resolved that issue in her case because she probably lost her eventual inheritance from him which would arguably be more than she'll receive someday from the King. it was viewed that her win of recognition actually hurt her financially.

Which brings us to her mother Sybille de Selys Longchamps, our Mistress of the Month. Delphine's desire for the truth of her heritage, for herself and her children, further outed her mother and proved that the very Catholic King was an imperfect man. 

Implied also was that his wife Queen Paola was either long suffering, accepting, or maybe a fool. If there was difficulty enough in her marriage for her husband to stray or cope by finding love with another woman, perhaps the couple worked that out. They had a Kingdom and children to consider. Also reportedly a devout Catholic, there would be no divorce. Would she be the first Queen to have a husband who had a Mistress?  Of course not.  Did the Courtiers of the Belgium Royal Family put an end to Sybille and Albert?  I'll post about that this month. What of the power of the Catholic Church?  Ahmmm.

Sybille has stated that she did not think she could get pregnant.  She married Jacques Boel in 1962, Delphine, born in 1968, is her only child. You know, when you are considered to be infertile and a pregnancy happens it can really feel fated. Sybille and Jacques divorced in 1978. She remarried in 1982 to a British widower, the Honourable Michael Anthony Bathborne Cayzer, who died in 1990. So she was widowed.

As a perhaps surprising "one-eighty," after King Albert II of Belgium was forced to admit he begot Delphine with Sybille, all was forgiveness. I suspect Queen Paola has had influence behind the scenes. It would have been easier, as Delphine has said, and I agree, if this had all been settled without legal action.  She wanted recognition simply because she wanted the truth to come out and for her children to know their heritage. Delphine, a successful artist, is the mother of two children. She is now a Princess of Belgium, is a recognized daughter, and was granted the use of the surname Saxe-Coburg. But what of Sybille? She reportedly left England after being widowed and moved back to Belgium, and is living in Brussels and Provence. I can't prove it.

C 2021 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved Including Internet and International Rights

References for this months posts include numerous articles on the internet and encyclopedias, many with repetitive information. Stick with me as we explore more about Sybille, Delphine, and the King!