SHE WAS A SUGAR BABY and NOW SHE'S BACK TO JUST DATING : WHAT'S IT LIKE?

This article was in Refinery and is by Arese Sylvester.  She offers advice on how to play it safe and find the right Sugar Daddy for you.

REFINERY : DATING AFTER BEING A SUGAR BABY

Excerpts:  Dr.Milo Gudelski, licensed psychologist and sex therapist, explains that some sugar babies struggle with recognizing sugar dating as a business and separating it from their personal lives.  When the two get mixed up, expectations may become unreasonable, selfish and problematic. "I have seen this happen where sugar babies get accustomed to receiving gifts simply for showing up.  It is easy for folks to loose themselves in this mindset and when this happens, the ability to form deeper connections in relationship is stunted." ....

The key to sugar dating is protecting your emotions so you can really finesse and get to the bag," says Dash Preistley, dating coach and former sugar baby.  Priestley, who grew up an unaffectionate person, says that sugar dating exacerbated this and emotionally desensitized her.  "I like to think of being a sugar baby as playing a character and you have to turn off this character when you're pursuing something more long term.  Sometimes, you can't really turn it all the way off though."  Another speed bump in the life after sugar dating is met when sugar babies become accustomed to choosing romantic partners for the wrong reasons.  In regular relationships, security is related to several components like shared goals, common values, emotional and intellectual compatibility...

Missy here!

I personally cannot control my emotions to shut them on or off.  I think not feeling, resisting, or devaluing emotions is not healthy.  Also, I have to tell you that I have never used any dating sites.  I think it's best to meet people in person.  I also don't know anyone who found a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mamma using a dating site.  The people I've known who had arrangements met organically and were not hard-core with demands or making arrangements.

Sometimes a woman doesn't think of herself as as Sugar Mamma, just someone who is doing well enough to be generous to a man.  The arrangements I've heard of where that the women did have some expectation that the man would eventually catch up with them financially, because the arrangements that he live with them without contributing or always being on the receiving end eventually did result in them asking the man to move out or a break up.  It seems to me that men still have every advantage when it comes to networking, education, and job opps - some more than others - depending on the work they're in. 

If you're considering an arrangement, check in with yourself and be clear about what you expect.  Be open to some renegotiation.