THE THEFT OF CHOICE : SPECIAL EDITION of MISTRESS MANIFESTO FEATURING CASSANDRA PETERSON

The inspiration for this month's excruciatingly uncomfortable subject is the story of her rape in the memoir Yours Cruelly, Elvira by Cassandra Peterson, better known as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. You may be familiar with the character of Elvira, who years ago started out a long stretch as the hostess of late-night scary B-movies on television, some of them laughable, especially if you were in range of Los Angeles stations. Prior to becoming known as Elvira, Cassandra had what might be called a colorful life, which I'll get to in a moment.

I'm not a fan of horror or scary films and can't remember ever staying up late to watch the show, but I knew about Elvira the way I knew about Angelyne, who I elected as Honorary Mistress of the Month in October 2010, long before she was outed by a mysterious character and then a biopic was made of her life.  If you lived in Southern California in those days then you knew she was around.

Angelyne's mystery was how she could afford to be on so many expensive billboards all around town, how she could afford all the cosmetic surgeries, how she could afford pink sports cars, one after another, and spend so much time driving around Los Angeles and being seen. (She certainly did not seem to have a regular job or much in the way of actual acting work. She did manage to record some music...)  There were always whispers of mysterious benefactors. A friend of mine who had his moment of fame decades earlier and interacted with a number of people in entertainment told me who everyone said Kept Angelyne, which I've never revealed. Just about everything else he had ever told me about various show business people had checked out. But let me get back to Cassandra.

While Angelyne may live 'in character' and be famous for being famous, Cassandra Peterson, who as Elvira in some way got associated in some people's minds with Angelyne, played Elvira as an actor, keeping her private life private but not in a downright secretive way as Angelyne did. Some reviews of Peterson's book mentioned that finally she was getting personal. And she did in her memoir, including about her rape.

Of course Mistress of the Dark uses the term Mistress in a way that I do not here at Mistress Manifesto. Defining Mistress is one of the goals of this blog as we learn about so very many for whom a label such as Mistress might be right. Overall, however, the term Mistress implies a woman who is in command, if not of others, than of her own life, which can also seem to be ironic and contradictory, since in so many novels where Mistresses or Kept women or Courtesans are the main character they are actually subject to a passion that makes them sin.  

When I search for books that are non-fiction in libraries to read and consider for inclusion here, I always encounter hundreds of fictive books in which the Mistress is a character.  Sometimes I think there are hundreds of such books for every one that is non-fiction. Why, I ask myself, are all these novels written, sold, and read?  I think it's because many women do have the fantasy of being in a relationship outside of marriage.

One of the aims of Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot is to to look at the realities. We ask how did (and do) Courtesans, Mistresses, Kept People, Groupies, Harem concubines, and just plain women who have affairs with men who aren't free to marry them, live their lives? We wonder if, as in films, the 'bad girl' is always punished by society or fate.  We do this at a time when people are more open in general about who they are and what they want, and sometimes what they want falls into the category of Alternative Lifestyle.

We love the idea that we have Choice, but how much Choice do we have?

To review the book Yours Cruelly, Elvira:

Cassandra Peterson grew up with an abusive narcissistic mother caused her much pain and a beloved father who did not defend her. She grew up in a lower-middle class home where there was no talk of careers or college for her. She was a Beatles-maniac and long live rock and roll! She became the youngest showgirl in Las Vegas at the time; her parents signed their agreement. She's been Sex Positive and never shy about showing off her physical assets, in particular her breasts. Meeting Elvis Presley, who gave her some wise advice, was the highlight of her life in Vegas. 

Attempting to support herself as she took bit parts and background work, Cassandra Peterson went to Italy where she had some experiences that could have turned out worse. Destitute and squatting, ripped off and escaping a criminal lover, she ended back in America. In Los Angeles she decided to add her natural sense of humor to her bawdy personae. She took classes with the Groundlings comedy troop, which she eventually was invited to join. She and a partner wrote the comedy scripts for the horror show evenings she hosted

In her personal life she was not shy about having sex and didn't hold herself to traditional values. Not religious, she favored the Ernest Holmes Science of Mind way of goal setting. She also lovingly accepted gay men as friends, coworkers, and co-creatives. For a long time she-who-would-someday-be-known-as-Elvira was just scraping by, even when she had room mates or lived with a man to keep the cost of living down, even as she paid her dues and took her acting and improv classes, even as she sought agents, went on auditions, and took rejections.

When I first saw the book as an offering as an e-audio book and an e-book at my library, I thought, what the heck, I'm under no obligation to read it if it turns out it's no good. But it was, surprising so.  First of all, I love e-audio books when the writer/author reads their own work. Cassandra does, expressively, and humorously.  She's frank. And I was surprised at how much I was enjoying the book and could relate to her as a human being. Even if I personally would be far too self conscious to ever be a showgirl, I could certainly understand how much she loved music, how big a deal meeting Elvis and having a good conversation with him it was. I could certainly understand about being true to one's art, even if it didn't pay.

So when I got to Chapter 15, entitled You'll Never Work In This Town Again and she started reading/speaking about it, knowing already that she had been propositioned many times, had been sexually harassed, had been offered work in exchange for sex (in Hollywood called 'the casting couch') by sleazy men, I was unprepared to hear that she had, after fending off and surviving so much, been raped. 

So, this month as a Special Edition here at Mistress Manifesto, the focus is Rape, which is the Theft of Choice and so horribly common, and so hateful towards women, I swear sometimes I think castration should be the punishment. 

Thank You Cassandra Peterson for inspiring this Special Edition.

Cassandra Peterson was married for twenty five years and suffered six miscarriages before finally having a child at age 43. She had long been involved in LGBTQ Rights but had to adjust when she herself fell in love with another woman. When her book came out in 2021 she was seventy years old and had been in that relationship for 19 years. As an activist she has also been involved in PETA anti-fur campaigns. She is also for the Me-Too Movement and is vocal about having been verbally and psychologically abused not only in her childhood, but also in her marriage. 

C 2023 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

You might be interested in reading: ANGELYNE THE BILLBOARD QUEEN : RUMORED MISTRESS OF THE MONTH is in the archives for October 2010

P.S. I'm not suggesting Petersen has been a Mistress or a Courtesan or a Kept Woman. Her memoir does not suggest it.