ACCEPTANCE and ENDURANCE : THE BEGINNING OF DIVORCED TO HER HUSBAND and THE DAY I SAW THEM TOGETHER

Page 247 :  "In June 1993, Andrew and I were seen together at dinner, and then the press snapped him kissing me at Balmoral.  The papers were full of stories about our rumored reconciliation.  The Firm as all aflutter --- why couldn't I just limp off into the sunset like a good little victim?  Suddenly, without consulting either of us, the Firm put out a release to announce our "formal separation."  Which did absolutely nothing, except to reveal the depths of the courtier's concern. In fact, their worries were misplaced.  While my husband and I were feeling easier with each other, if only because the pressure was off, we were essentially playing for time.  We had no set plan for our future -- and no intention of expunging our past.

I was never one to erase a man from my life after a romance was done.  People cannot be reduced to "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" -- when they share something good and real, it lives on forever.  Eight years after we broke up, Paddy McNally remained one of my closest, most trusted friends. More than a year after our separation, Andrew and I still loved each other and we didn't care what the world thought."

(Sarah was inspired by reading about Queen Victoria and her love of her husband Prince Albert, who died at age forty-two.  Victoria remained in love with him her entire life - another forty years or so.  Sarah went on to write  Victoria and Albert : A Life at Osborne House.  Published in 1991, some of the proceeds went to the Prince Andrew Charitable Trust. Secondly, in 1993, she published Travels With Queen Victoria.  Both books were well received.  She says the research and writing of these books helped her understand both Victoria and Queen Elizabeth's sense of duty and sacrifice.  She herself, felt at that point that she had failed miserably.)

Page 282 : "On Wednesday, April 17 (1996), twenty nice uncontested divorce were processed at the family division of the High Court in London.  At the bottom of the list was this one : HRH The Duke of York v. HRH The Duchess of York.   ( A week later,  Andrew and I would have dinner with both lawyers and their wives at a restaurant near Windsor.  We were setting new standards for amicability.)"

Page 287 : "On May 30 (1996), while my daughters and I watched Ballymoss go through his paces at Hickstead, a clerk at Somerset House dated a non-descript sheet of paper, then swung down a red rubber stamp.... My divorce was final."

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Since this book was published in 1996, Sarah and Andrew continue to be housemates and best friends and have lived at Royal Lodge, Windsor for years. It's a large house but home.  Their daughters are grown and married and the long divorced couple are grandparents to three.

How have they managed the last twenty six years?

She said "We are co-parents who support each other and believe that family is everything.  I'm proud of the job we have done together in bringing up our children and sustaining a strong family unit.  Our bywords are communication, compromise, and compassion."  February 2023 to Hello Magazine.

And now my story...

Long ago I was at an event that The Duke and Duchess of York came to. Word got out that they were coming and suddenly there was a set up between where their limo would pull up and they would get out and walk into the building. A barrier to keep photographers several feet away was set up. The photographers showed up; every kind of camera. Sarah had a Lady In Waiting with her to whom she passed bouquets of flowers off to. She was the epitome of courtesy. Not an Anglophile, but having met some celebrities, I could still feel the excitement in the air. There was great curiosity about them.

I was astonished at how gorgeous they both were. Sarah's hair was thick, not a stray hair. Her complexion creamy. I thought she was well dressed - conservatively - but certainly not frumpy.  And she had jewels in her hair that you could imagine were worth millions. The two of them glowed with health. They were blissfully happy.  They seemed so unified, so in love, I could not imagine that they would have their troubles and end the romance in divorce. One was left with the knowing that yes, these people from the highest society of England were in fact different.

A little while later, the building crawling with Secret Service (really!) I and a friend of mine entered the event. A crowd of perhaps a hundred people were polite but well around them. We never approached or tried to make our way closer. They stayed maybe a half hour and then were whisked away. Leaving us to feel that the event lacked luster now that they were gone.

Missy

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