NATALIE CLIFFORD BARNEY and RENEE VIVIAN : NATALIE WASN'T MONOGAMOUS, and VIVIAN ?

Though the relationship with Courtesan Liane de Pougy put an end to the rumors and outed Natalie Clifford Barney to the world, especially after Liane published a 'fiction' novel that faintly disguised herself, Natalie, and other characters, that was popular, perhaps the relationship that Natalie was most known for was with Renee Vivian.  This is because, though there were others, it was the most enduring.

Born plain old Pauline Mary Tarn in 1877, Rene was the daughter of an American woman and English man who settled in Paris. After her father's death, her mother sent her off to live in England and her mother lived beyond her means. When Vivian finally got her inheritance at 21, she moved back to Paris and rented a small apartment. As she did not keep a chaperone, she became a persona non gratis to society.  Even some Americans in Paris snubbed her and she no longer received invitations. Preferring to have a small group of friends was more her style anyway.

The two women were different enough to be considered an odd couple. What they had holding them together was first, that they met young and were contemporaries, the same generation and lesbian. Secondly, they both adored poetry and wrote it, especially French poetry, though their poetry also revealed their differences. Last but not least, the two women were part of the wave of feminism that came out of the Victorian era. It was a time in which most women did not go to college or have careers. It could be argued that the restrictions were worse for elite women than poor women. It helped that they shared a sense of humor.

Temperamentally the two women were opposites. Natalie was outgoing and loved the social scene and going places and travel while Renee so loathed engaging with others that she was capable of staying in her room reading and writing while a party was taking place in the other rooms. She was shy and introverted and no doubt experienced depression. Rene was also a drug addict and alcoholic who ruined her body. She mixed a drug called Chloral Hydrate, a hypnotic, with booze, and that started when she was in her teens.  It was a sleep medication and she overdosed at least once. So, her mother had tried to put her into a mental hospital.  

Renee was also in love with Natalie. She put her on a pedestal and wrote all her love poetry to Natalie, while Natalie's poetry was to or about the various women she had loved. Young, she published a book that was titled Quelques Portraits - Sonnets de Femmese.

Was Natalie in love with her?

There are many ways to love.

Natalie's nature was not so sensitive. It was said that while the free spirit had her feminist ideals and could be a great friend to those who she chose to have in her life, she was not especially concerned with the masses. She was a bit oblivious to how most people had to live. She left her exclusive boarding school, Les Ruches, in France as a teenager with a sense of entitlement and knowing she was part of the upper crust. She went through her debut without fuss, even though she had an aversion to marriage and would soon decide that it was not even her nature to be monogamous. She even flirted with men, and the suspicious and jealous Renee wondered about Natalie's relationships with men.  In America, though there was gossip, she also continued to participate in society functions.

One of the issues in their relationship was sex. Renee was disgusted by the idea of sex with men. Natalie's role was to be the pursuer, in today's way of thinking, she took the dominant role, the male role if it were a traditional heterosexual relationship. She had sought out many experiences and became a great lover, but Renee was, shall we say, indifferent. She was a challenge to Natalie because she was difficult to impossible to stir.  The challenge frustrated Natalie.  It also meant that Natalie could not be satisfied with Vivian in that way.  Would Natalie ever be able to settle down with just one person anyway?  She was considered a "conquering Amazon."

The Quelques Portraits - Sonnets de Femmese.book got reviewed in Town Topics, Natalie got called a Sappho, her father saw the article, and his rage had no end. He blamed her mother. While he bought out the publisher and tried to destroy any copies of the book, Natalie's mother wrote to her in great distress, telling her she had sinned against nature and the law. Yet, she did come to accept her daughter as lesbian. The Barney family had allowed Natalie and Renee to move in together in Paris, so long as chaperone was present.  They hired an older lesbian to be the chaperone.

While Renee was known to have other affairs, she and Natalie were never quite through with each other.  Believe it or not Renee did get around to having an affair with... Liane de Pougy!

When Renne commit suicide, it was thought that her love for Natalie, perhaps her obsession, was the reason for it. Natalie was asked to write about it when she was 83 years old, and though her emotions and thoughts may have been all over the place about Renee, from the distance of a life well lived into old age, she typified Renee as a weak person, sad and tragic, and that only enhanced her reputation as being a Lady Killer.

C 2022 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

All Rights Reserved including International and Internet Rights

The primary reference for this book report post is Wild Heart by Suzanne Rodriguez.  My notes were taken especially from pages 191, 122-123.  It's a highly interesting book and I do hope you will read it!