MASQUERADE

 

THIS MASQUERADE : GEORGE BENSON

THE COURTESAN PRINCESS ENDS HER YEARS A DEVOUT CATHOLIC

This is about  Liane de Pougy, married name Princess Anne-Marie Ghika of Roumania, and her later-in-life involvement in Catholicism. 

Born Anne-Marie Chassaigne in 1869, Liane had been born into a Catholic family. After her retirement as a courtesan, due to her marriage to the Prince, she again became acquainted with her faith. She was not especially happy in her marriage as the years went on. She sought some advice on marriage, and she was told that it would be most honorable and spiritual if she stuck with it, though her husband and her were not compatible in important ways. He was younger than she, he was apparently desperately alcoholic and in ill health, and he may also have sought sex with prostitutes. At one point she wanted to leave him and live separate lives.

The Dominican Sisters at Saint Agnes cared for children who were fundamentally disabled.  From her Blue Notebooks, here is an excerpt of how she became familiar with their work. She would chose to fund raise for them and the fashion designer and once-upon-a-time Mistress, CoCo Chanel was a generous donor to the same !

Here is an excerpt:

"We were punctual.  She took us to the playground... and there I saw sixty-seven unhappy creatures between eight and sixteen years old, ... the most inexorable suffering.  I nearly fainted. ... Oh! Those cries!  Those contortions, those grimaces, that smell...  Once you have seen that, never never again can you complain of anything.  I was ashamed of having talked so much about myself to Sister Marie Xavier. I pressed the poor tremulous, rather dirty hands which reached out towards me.  I searched those wandering, fixed or mad eyes for some glimmer of light.  I laid my hand on those foreheads, tumultuous or stunned. feverish, so pale... I gave five hundred francs.  George Ghika (her husband) gave a hundred, and I knew that he was more disturbed than he liked to admit.   (page 219 of The Blue Notebooks)

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NOT SHY

 

VALTESSE DE BIGNE's LETTERS FROM LIANE DE POUGY END UP SOLD and HER GRANDDAUGHTER ANDRE DE LA BIGNE FOLLOWS IN HER FOOTSTEPS

After her death in 1910 at the age of 62, the famous old courtesan, Valtesse De Bigne not only gave herself a decorative grave, but her estate held some beautiful antiques and paintings that were selectively given to her friends.

Courtesans of Paris often had a child somewhere in their youthful past, often raised by others, while they sent money. My observation is that the child was usually from a very early relationship, and that somehow these women managed to avoid further pregnancies. It is unknown to me, but I speculate that they may have also denied having any children to the men who they had affairs with. If you read Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, you know that these relationships varied, that some courtesans had many, some had one at a time, and the definition of Courtesan varies. I always wonder who in the family knew about the child and if the child grew up to know its mother or even know her reputation or if that child admired its courtesan mother.

Valtesse's own granddaughter took the letters that Liane de Pougy had sent to Valtesse and she sold them.  (Page 293)  My guess is that she read them. That she did come to understand some things and might have been inspired.

Perhaps you watch The Crown, as I do, and you caught the way Prince Phillip was depicted, a boy alone sent to a rather, in my opinion, brutal school, where team work was emphasized. After the devastating loss of relatives due to a plane crash, it would seem that his mother, who had been mentally ill and received treatment in a hospital, joined a nunnery.  His father was not much in his life.  His father was with his Mistress in Monaco.

Guess who Prince Phillip's father, Prince Andrew of Greece, had as a Mistress in Monaco!

Comtesse Andre de la Bigne, as she called herself was the grand-daughter of Valtesse de la Bigne.  

She deserves a month all to her own here, so I'll stop with that teaser here...

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Our primary reference for this month's subject, Courtesan Laine De Pougy, is the book titled the Mistress of Paris by author Catherine Hewitt. Additional information comes from other sources, such as, for this post, wikipedia.

HOW ARE YOU?

 

ARE YOU A MAN WHO HAS A LONG TIME MISTRESS? MISSY ASKS YOU!

Tell me your story!  Leave a Comment! 

How long have you had a mistress?

How did you meet the person?

Are you married?

Do you think you will ever marry your mistress?

Do you love her/him?

Do you also love someone else?

Do you Keep this person or contribute to their finances?

HIS FRIENDS ARE MEAN : SHOULD SHE SAY BYE BYE? : OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

I met a man in his 50s who has a sparkle in his eye and seems to be sweet. We had a beautiful, unexpected conversation at a cafe. From that point it was obvious we have crushes on each other. On karaoke night he gets up and sings the most romantic songs, looking right at me.

His friends who are probably around the same age are not nice to me. One openly put me down. He said "You're just a girl wearing a hat." I responded "Most certainly not."  Another one does not speak to me or say hello. The one time he did, indirectly, he had a kind of low growl when he demanded I move to another table. I stayed put. When the man who sings to me shows up over there and his men friends are there, he sits with them. I notice that sometimes he seems to be looking at me from across the room, but he seems reluctant to come over and talk.

If a man's friends don't like you, should you just give up on him?

Veronica in Denver

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Veronica,

How horrible for you!

It sounds to me like this man cares more about what his friends think and that he has allowed them to be overly involved in his life. It sounds to me like his friends don't want him to have you in his life and maybe they don't want him to have any woman in his life. Men and women of any age can have friends who hold them back. They seem to be warding you off.

I wonder if this is a group of bachelors who like to prove they still have it by flirting and cruising, but never go on dates. They might be threatened by the loss of one of their own when he goes into a relationship with a woman instead. However, men like this in their fifties?  They sound extremely immature to me. 

You don't say how old you are, but that man calling you a girl?

To try to be fair to these rude men, maybe they've been along for the ride with him for many years and know what he's gone through with other women. He might have even sworn off women. 

Veronica, not to try and hurt your feelings, but another possibility is that this man who is singing to you is teasing you for liking him. Or he thinks he is complimenting you and that's all he can do but you should be pleased that he thinks you're cute. He may not realize he is leading you on to nowhere.

When dating, or as a couple, we can't truly like and enjoy all our partner's friends but we can get along and go along well enough unless they are insulting to us or creating problems in our relationship. So if you were dating this man you'd feel uncomfortable with these two characters and not want to spend time with them.

My gut feeling on this is that this man is entrenched in his life and is fine with gazing at you from afar. He may cherish the one conversation he had with you but that was it.

So, remove yourself from this place at least for a month or two. In that way, say bye bye!

Refresh your spirit and know your worth. 

Do you have a woman friend you can go places and do things with?  Get going!

Meet men somewhere else.

Missy

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? : QUESTION FOR MISSY and MISSY ASKS YOU

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Was wondering if you believe in Love at First Sight? 

Andrea

Memphis

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Hi Andrea,

Yes, I do think Love at First Sight happens, though perhaps rarely, and it's so compelling that people have been known to make a commitment quickly after realizing that it has happened to them.  

It would be interesting to know how many of you who read Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot have had the experience of Love at First Sight.

My questions are:

Was your experience of Love at First Sight mutual (i.e. you both felt the same way and realized it.)

Did you act upon the realization that you had instantly fallen in love?  Did you make a commitment to be a couple quickly?  If one or both of you was with someone else, did you neatly end that other relationship?

If you did become a couple after falling in love instantly upon first sight (meeting) each other, did the relationship endure?  How long?

If it did not endure, why not?  Are you with someone else now or are you through with relationships?

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS!

Missy

FORBIDDEN BOOK

 

THE PRINCESS ANNE-MARIE GHIKA OF ROUMANIA and STAYING IN AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE

EXCERPTS page 202-203 

It's 1926 and Liane de Pougy has left her husband, Prince Georges Ghika of Roumania. Throughout the book she does have many complaints about the man, who is fifteen years younger than she and seems to be, by my way of thinking, mentally ill, and was alcoholic. Nathalie as below is Natalie Clifford Barney.

October 18

... As soon as I arrived in Paris, in Margot's  charming little flat, I called Nathalie who came to me, affectionate and approving: "You have done the right thing, Liane, I am so glad. You must keep it up....' She held me in her arms, listened, advised, sent flowers, took to the Duchess's, showed me the sweetest and most compassionate tenderness.  My friends rallied around, adorable to me and indignant at Prince Ghika, saying "It's abominable!  How could he fall so low! You were his whole truth.  He will be sorry - but don't ever take him back!  He was such a bore; he got on everyone's nerves' he diminished you." I heard endless versions of this.  In short I was made much of, comforted, smothered in flowers, almost celebrated.  Jean Cocteau came, very shocked, to pour out calming words, floods of healing poetry with which to express my agony.  As he will also come, I hope, to sing my deliverance.

... And Nathalie was there.  I - who am so scared of her thunder and also so afraid of doing her the least harm because through it all I love her deeply - this is what I did or rather had done to me, because nothing was started by me except a loyal and determined struggle in which I was defeated because my Mimy is here, she's asleep in the room next to mine as I write these words and I shall soon be going in to kiss her awake.  (She means Mini Franchetti

Nathalie, sitting  by my bed one day: 'Liane, the one I love is waiting outside. You are so beautiful, you have been so great, so admirable, may I bring her in to see you for a moment so that she can contemplate you, so that you can see her?' - 'Yes,' I said without much interest. 'Bring her in, go and fetch her.' And in she came, tall, slender, white as a magnolia flower, her enchanting gestures so graceful, small, rare, precise, fiery eyes, and almost unreal fineness.  She bent over me, over my cruel suffering. Natalie smiled.  It was Nathalie herself who prepared her own fate.

We talked. I told my pitiful story to Mimy. She didn't say a great deal. Nathalie wanted them both to carry me off to the country....

______

Liane and Mimi got involved with each other, and Nathalie became jealous.

______

EXCERPT: Page 213

Mimi Franchetti was dreadfully unhappy when I left her.  I was unhappy,  Our sensuality had its dear little habits.  I tore all that up in one minute.  ______

Liane's divorce proceedings continued.  

EXCERPT: Page 215  ... 

"Georges tells me that he adores me, that he can't look at me without wanting to burst into tears (and there are tears in his eyes), and that he is unable to control himself any longer.  He begs me to shut him up in a mad-house, or to kill him,  It is a complete disaster.   ______

My notes: It seems that sex is part of their problem.  He wants to have an open relationship and to have other women, including going to prostitutes.

Liane, who had been raised Catholic, returned to the faith of her upbringing in her later years.  Her connection with Mother Marie-Madeleine of the Faithful Company of Jesus had a long history to it. The Nun had known Liane, then Anna-Marie, since she was an eight year old. The aging Courtesan had confided in Mother Marie-Madeliene that she was miserable in her marriage and the nun advised her that taking back her husband was the best thing to do because it was a renouncement of self.  In 1928 Mother Marie-Madeleine died. 

Liane became an active Catholic, doing confessions and communions. Prince Georges was a non-believer.  However in 1935 the couple celebrated their 25 years of marriage, a Silver Jubilee. The Prince died in 1945 and the Princes outlived him about five years.

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All Rights Reserved Including Internet and International Rights.

Note October 17th... Alas, sometimes editing does not work...  At least we noticed it fairy early into this post...

MY BLUE NOTEBOOKS - AN INTIMATE JOURNAL by LIANE DE POUGY aka PRINCESS GHIKA OF ROUMANIA

 Liane De Pougy authored a few novelesque books in her time, including one in which the thinly disguised Natalie Clifford Barney was portrayed.

This book covers a period from 1900 to World War II when the famous Paris courtesan, born in 1869 and married to her Prince, who was fifteen years younger than she, was getting older.  She reports needing eyeglasses and a cane and having a number of ailments including colitis.  Princess Anne-Marie Ghika of Roumania, as was her title then, died in 1950 and at that time was associated with a nunnery devoted to taking care of severely disabled children.

The book was published after Liane De Pougy's death and is a diary.  

Here are excerpts from pages 14-15-16 of the Introduction by R.P. Rzewuski.  (He was a priest she admired and befriended.) 

"To everyone's amazement the career of 'the most beautiful courtesan of the century' came to an abrupt end while still at its most brilliant.  Her marriage to Prince Georges Ghika (who was younger than herself) was announced.

Once she was a Princess, Liane had the good taste never to parade the fact.  Besides which, her relationships with her husband's family would hardly have allowed it, because they never fully accepted her.  By the same token she was never able to create an authentic place for herself in society."

Liane sincerely wanted to consign the years of her worldly success to oblivion, and even to forget them herself.  Forget the princes, the grand-dukes, the politicians the financiers who had heaped their crowns, fortunes, celebrity, and talent as her feet  That world, however, continued on in its way and was neither able or willing to forget her and - cruel as it can be sometimes be - it did not do so.

___

What more can I say about her? Some two tor three years after we met in Lausanne, on the death of her husband***, she confided in me her desire to be received under the name of Sister Anne-Marie into the Order of Saint Dominic, as a tertiary lay sister. ***

***Prince Georges Ghika of Roumania died in 1945

*** The Dominicans are nuns who are cloistered and live contemplative lives.  A lay sister is not a person who lives cloistered but in the regular world, but is still devoted to their religious beliefs. 

LIANE DE POUGY's COURTESAN MENTOR VALTESSE DE LA BIGNE RETIRES WITH DIGNITY

By 1900, Liane de Pougy, a talented woman, had decided to write. Eventually she would write books called fictions which were tantalizing due to her thinly disguised real life characters, including herself. She also wrote a diary in later life.  In 1901  Liane de Pougy published the book Idylle Saphique which was semi autobiographical. 

Liane was 31 years old and her mentor, Valtesse de la Bigne, was near 52 when the older courtesan understood that it was time to retire openly and with grace. She was gaining weight and going grey.  (Notes from page 268)

Of interest to us here at Mistress Manifesto is also the mention on page 272 of Cora Pearl. sometimes called The English Rose of Paris. It says that had been the Princess of Paris but had been caste out of society when Paris knew she had ruined a man financially and she was reduced to a common prostitute.

*****

Here is an excerpt from July 2012 when CORA PEARL was our Mistress of the Month.

Cora tells the story that she was 15 when she was taken to bed by a man who could have been 35, who she first saw in a market. Later, though she started out curious, she was disgusted. In Cora's day many poor women were considered to be unmarriageable because they didn't have a dowry or, out of innocence or hunger, they found sex to be the only way to resolve their destitution and couldn't marry because they had lost their virginity before marriage, even if they were molested or raped.

*****

Valtesse was all too aware that she needed to take control of her life, her career at its end, and her reputation. She did not want to be banished from society for any reason but she needed to remove herself from Paris, where the younger courtesans were taking over.  In 1902 she announced that she was auctioning off all her property (this was not quite true because she kept some of the things she most treasured) but this sale messaged two things, one that she was ending her life as a courtesan and the other that she had lived a most successful life as one. Like the auctions of the estates of many famous and wealthy people today, prices were about who had owned the item as much as what the item might be worth in itself. She earned enough to refurbish her new home in the finest décor. Called Ville d'Avray, her home held 'family portraits" of nobles that were beautifully painted but were fake because she had not come from the nobility.  She was far enough away from her fame in Paris that the locals thought she had been a Madam rather than a Courtesan herself.  

Valtesse lived long enough to see her protégé do what seemed impossible to the most successful courtesan and that was to marry a prince, which Liane did in 1909 at the age of 41.  Liane became the wife of Prince Georges Ghika of Romania.

Valtese died July, 29th, 1910, age 62, and Liane grieved deeply.  She was in Valtesse's last will, receiving a tea service and a desk.

Valtesse had a granddaughter.  Her granddaughter would become a Mistress, living in Monaco...

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Our primary reference for this month's subject, Courtesan Laine De Pougy, is the book titled the Mistress of Paris by author Catherine Hewitt.

VALTESSE PROTECTS HER PROTEGE'S COURTESAN CAREER BUT LIANE DEFIES HER

From my notes:

Liane began a passionate affair with Emilienne d'Alencon, a French courtesan who was also a dancer, actress, and a gambler. She said it was Emilienne who had been her "teacher in the ways of pleasure."  As well the two women were seen out in public together and the gossip columnists loved it that the two were, as we say today, 'out.'   (Notes from page 256.)

Valtesse warned her protoge Liane that lesbians aged badly!  She though Liane was a fool, but worse, in her opinion that Emilienne was when Liane got seduced by the American ex-patriot lesbian Natalie Clifford Barney.

Barney was a pretty woman who had endured her parent's displeasure at her growing reputation as a lesbian. Upon seeing the beautiful Liane, Natalie sent the courtesan letters -signed with a fake name - and flowers until Liane would grant her an in person meeting. Natalie arrived dressed as a Prince.  (I've seen photos of Natalie in this outfit and so I think it was her costume of choice at the time, implying that she was a rescuer of women.)  Liane granted the meeting but Valtesse made sure she was there too, just to send a message to Barney as to who was 'in' on the situation.  The stage was set, Valtesse and Liane in cahoots.

Liane hid herself while Valtesse lingered in the dim light as if she were the prize.  Then Liane floated out 'dressed in diaphanous white and extended her equally pale delicate hand, which gripped Natalie's shoulders with surprising firmness." (Notes from page 238)

Liane was in on this game as well as she set up the situation to tease the besotted Natalie with her intimacy with Valtesse.

As it turned out the affair between Liane and Natalie was brief but they remained known to each other throughout their lives. The day came when Liane would decide to write books.  She would write about Natalie, thinly disguised as a character with a different name.  The day would come when Natalie would also write about her life in Paris and the famous people she had known and befriended, including Liane.  They had made impressions upon each other.

*****

NOTE  in June 2011 our Mistress of the Month was CoCo Chanel

COCO CHANEL : DESIGNER WHO CHANGED WOMENS FASHION GOT HER START AS A MISTRESS.  Here is an excerpt from the first post that month:

Did Balsan move the seamstress CoCo into his "decadent lifestyle", perhaps father a child or insist she have an abortion?

Certainly he was the person who first funded her ambitions to have a millinery shop, and then design clothes.

There were other women for him - and eventually other lovers also for her - In particular a man called Boy Chapel. Most intelligently CoCo and Etienne continued to be friends until he died in 1953. When she came to Royallieu he already had a mistress there, an actress and beauty known to be well kept by men, Emilienne d'Alecon. So perhaps the romance between them has been exaggerated.

Emilienne was 14 year older than CoCo, and perhaps if not her mentor, an example. She showed CoCo how to get along with and remain friends with ex lovers and providers. (We see this characteristic also in mistress Pamela Digby Churchill Harriman.)

*****

 Emilienne d'Alencon was born in 1870 and lived until 1945.) 

C 2022 Mistress Manifesto Blogspot

Our primary reference for this month's subject, Courtesan Laine De Pougy, is the book titled the Mistress of Paris by author Catherine Hewitt.

HAS HE JUST LEFT?

 

LIANE DE POUGY : BISEXUAL PROTOGE OF VALTESSE DE LA BIGNE in BELLE EPOCH PARIS : FROM COURTESAN TO PRINCESS TO NUN?

Our primary reference for this month's subject, Courtesan Laine De Pougy, is the book titled the Mistress of Paris by author Catherine Hewitt. who did excellent research on Comtesse Valtesse de la Bigne, one of the famous Parisian Courtesans who retired very rich.  As promised in the teaser I posted a couple days ago, Hewitt's book turns out to include Liane De Pougy, who Valtesse mentored.  Rereading that book, which I've featured before, from cover to cover, I focused on Liane.  Her life entwined with American ex-pat lesbian Natalie Clifford Barney and others who've been mentioned here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot.

We will also look into Liane's own diary called Blue Notebooks, which she wrote in her later years as a Princess.   

                                                         Photo is a WIKIMEDIA COMMONS download

Anne-Marie Chassaigne

LIANE de POUGY

Princess Anne-Marie Ghilka

1869 - 1950

In the book, The Mistress of Paris, we get to focus on something we don't often get to and that's the relationships between one courtesan/mistress and another.  We are so used to the idea that women always compete with each other for the attention of men, be that as boyfriends or husbands or clients, but in every profession, there are some women who mentor others. In my opinion those women who mentor are the most secure in themselves and their position.

Valtesse de la Bigne*, along with the rest of Parisian society in the late 1800's, took on the new rage for British 'tea at five o'clock." It was a time to visit, nosh, gossip, meet and mix with others. Valtesse and all her friends had 'five o'clocks' and had become the talk of Paris, with people vying for invitations, even people who would never consider becoming courtesans themselves but wanted some notice because of their association with a Courtesan. The newspapers reported who attended. Valtesse's women-only 'five o'clocks" were popular but she intentionally remained mysterious about her attraction to other women. The 'Grand Horizontales' in Valtesse's circle usually experienced casual lesbian sex and she had no doubt been seen out and around town at concerts and the theater with lesbians, but her close friends knew there was only one favorite and that was Liane de Pougy.

Around the same time bars and eateries in the Montemartre district were whispered to be lesbian hang outs.  One, called Le Hanneton, had a décor that featured dark red curtains, small tables, and low lighting, for intimate meet ups.  Then there was Le Rat Morte (The Dead Rat!) which was open 24 hours and had second door to enter or exit through discreetly.  

Liane, who started out plain, skinny, and androgynous, graduated from a convent school and was married at seventeen to a navy officer who she was miserable with. Then she suffered the traumatic birth of her first baby. She could have had a financially secure life if she could put up with him, but she sought out adventure, love and sex, with other men. When her husband caught her in bed with another man he shot at her. In 1890 she left her child in the care of others and went to Paris, with some startup capital, to stay with a friend. She was twenty-seven years old. Unlike so many other courtesans, she had not started out as a teenage sex worker, a street walker at the bottom of the profession. Across the street was a famous and rich courtesan named Louise Balthy who she watched with great interest. She made the decision to become a courtesan and began with changing her name.

After they met and instantly took to each other, Valtesse, about twenty years older than Liane, decided to take the totally inexperienced newcomer under her wing and "taught her young protégé everything she knew, from how to secure a client, to managing her career and finances, even teaching her techniques to employ in the bedroom." (Page 251)

The two women had a great rapport and went out on the town - Paris - together, though they were distinctly different in appearance and generation. They acted like a couple light-hearted schoolgirls. Valtesse told Liane that going out to Maxims restaurant, the opera in Nice, and other elite venues was business; she had to be seen. She also cautioned the younger woman that she could not give sex away - not even if it was just that a man wished to see her ankle - and to not accept being ripped off by merchants either. This was business. She had to be focused on her goal to be rich and not allow herself to be blinded by feelings of love.

Liane De Pougy was courted by the Princes and Dukes who had money as well as the playwrights and artists. She could hold her own in conversations about the arts, but it was fashion that thrilled her as a young woman. She became known for her hat collection and spending 33,000 francs a year on clothing. Valtesse told her that a Courtesan's bedroom was a stage set and that her décor needed to reflect her appearance and style. Liane decorated her first apartment in luxury including a Louis XV bed. She vacationed on the Riviera in Menton where she stayed at a villa she called La Perle Blanche (The White Pearl.) Liane's trademark was the pearl.

Eventually she would author several books that the public eagerly consumed.

Liane could have failed to succeed and ended up sickly and on the street as so many of the sex workers did, so she was grateful to Valtesse for mentoring her and considered her an excellent friend.  

Liane De Pougy, was not heterosexual.  She was bisexual, but careful to keep her involvement with women a secret from the men who paid to play. Valtesse believed strongly and so advised Liane that to remain a successful courtesan she could not become known as lesbian. An occasional affair with another woman was fine but a serious liaison would ruin her career. ame the day when Valtesse would make a point of that when a famous American lesbian came calling.

This month we will explore the life of Liane De Pougy who, as the title of this post says, became a Courtesan, married a Prince and became a Princess, and ended her years associated with a nunnery. 

Missy

C 2022 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

*an aristocratic name that she took hoping to elevate her status, Changing names was common among those is any form of sex work.

If you are interested in the Courtesans of Paris, you may want to read the following months.

Valtesse de la Bigne was featured in April 2018 

American lesbian in Paris, Natalie Clifford Barney is first featured in the September 2014 issue. 

You may also be interested in Marguerite Alibert, who was the subject of January 2019.  

Or search for the word Paris using the search feature in this Google Blogger.