KAZAN ON HIS CONFUSED AND MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT BARBARA

 

Excerpted from Google Books

(Kazan reports that he dreaded marrying Barbara, although he was free to and they had their son Leo. He reports that Barbara gave him an ultimatum, though she is also prepared to pack up her junk and move out. He reports that his friend has advised against it. He goes off to Europe, taking a woman he met in the park, doesn't know anything about, who when asked said she would go anywhere with him. However, in Europe he begins to write with extensive exploration into his own life, what becomes his book and film The Arrangement, saying that he could not write about Molly, his wife, and that the wife character is not Molly.  As he traveled from Greece to France and beyond, he also was having correspondences, and he wrote to Barbara and told her where he was going so she could write back to him.  Eventually the woman from the park ended her travel with Elia and Barbara agreed to meet up with him in Japan.

EXCERPT:  The basic premise was the same.  No enduring relationship was to be formed.  But as I went on planning the structure of my book, I found the character of the woman who stirred up the discontent (in the male character's life) of the hero was inspired by Barbara.  She had some sort of effect on me, one that I now dramatized in fiction. I felt a continuing interest in her and I also felt gratitude that the relationship was still meaningful for me.

... When she arrived I noticed a striking difference in her manner. A female wise in her sex might have tipped me off that this change was a manipulation, chosen to achieve an end.  I would never exclude craft from a place in Barbara's bag of techniques, nor would I deny that any dog could wag its tail and I'd be charmed. Sill I truly believed in her altered personality, even if it was an effort to reassure me that she could make good in a more permanent connection, one in which different personal qualities are required. I was delighted with how we were together for the next two weeks. She was always interesting, frequently surprising, ever loving, and would listen when I talked.. without her mind wandering as it often had in the past...

(He prolongs his stay in Japan two weeks because they are getting along so well. He even confesses that he had another woman along for the trip. But back in New York, he becomes determined to keep both women.)

Missy here: Hopefully you'll be intrigued enough to read this book for yourself.  The feeling I got was that Barbara was not being manipulative, that she was changing and actually becoming more independent and accommodating as much as she could, but that Kazan felt entitled.  If she behaved as he did, such as being secretive about where she was or who with, he resented it.  

Have you ever been in such a situation yourself?  If so, leave me a comment!