FINISHING SCHOOLS? WHAT ARE THEY?

What's a Finishing School? 

I've often thought the term "finishing" has some negative implications, such as you're through. You're done. Sad.

Finishing School used to be where rich parents sent their daughters to refine their manners and prepare themselves to join Society, perhaps to become debutants, but  "deb" or not, to become the wives of men of means and importance, where socializing and entertaining were part of the lifestyle. When education wasn't emphasized or careers impossible, young women as teenagers were sometimes sent off to these schools without completing high school or the school might offer some classes that could bring a person up to the level where they could run a household or pass today's GED. Although women through the centuries have had intelligence, when marriage and children were the intention it wasn't thought education was important.

Diana Spencer, never a scholarly teen, went. So did Jacqueline Bouvier who became First Lady of the United States and Carla Bruni wife of former President of France,  Nicolas Sarkozy.

Like chocolates, the schools in Switzerland were said to be the finest.

Though young women with advantages and opportunities to socialize with rich people have been exposed to that lifestyle growing up, these schools were meant to further refine and to communicate that they were all grown up and ready to be married.

Now there is only one finishing school left operating in that country and the curriculum has changed because today many women opt for higher education and go directly from prep school to university. There are schools elsewhere though, in London, in Japan.

Finishing is actually, in my opinion, Polishing.

Putting your best forward. Smoothing communication. Removing the rude.

Now, being polished can very much be about your career, especially if you need to navigate the customs of other cultures. This is especially true when a person from Europe or America needs to do business in Japan or China.

There are some variants of Finishing School. In the United States "Charm" school is often a Modeling School. Posture (walking tall, perhaps balancing a book on your head), composure (keeping your hands still and in your lap or your legs together when sitting) and having someone else advise you on fashion, hair, and cosmetics, is key.

I've had associates who went to these schools as teenagers as they did want to try modeling or were going into fashion or hair dressing.

I've regularly met men and women who desperately needed to become less crude. Some were good people but ones who blurted without thinking how insensitive they were being to others. Despite succeeding past their parents, they still told horrible jokes, openly put people down for not having as much as they did or ridiculed disabled people, ate with their mouths open, wore scuffed brown shoes with blue suits, or talked only about themselves. It could be cringe worthy.

Finishing Schools vary on what you might be taught so I've made a list. Please note that men too need the information that's taught. 

Table manners.

How to set a table for casual dining to banquets.

Napkin folding.

Flower arranging.

How to be a host or house guest.

Dealing with delicate situations. (What to say or not say.)

Gifts. What's appropriate.

Running a household. (How to hire and deal with servants.)

What to wear for various sports and events.

Some may include.

Dancing.

Languages.

Skiing.

Horseback riding.

I think people who are encountering those more privileged than themselves tend to repress themselves and observe, following the lead of others around them, in order to learn. My experience is that the very rich from birth like what they like and are not so out to impress. 

Who needs it?

I'd say anyone going into international business or diplomacy. World travelers. Anyone who finds themselves involved in business in foreign countries. Scholarship students to private or elite colleges.

What does it cost? 

Several schools I found on the Internet didn't show their prices, others did. Some went on line for classes during Covid-19 others like Anna Bey's School of Affluence are always on line. A discount price I noticed on one school's web site had cut their price from $1500 to $500. I found one article, from a 2013 Business Insider, called "Wealthy Chinese Women Are Paying $16,000 for 10 Days of Finishing School" by Liz O'Connor.

You can learn some of these things by reading books. Go for the ones published recently.

I decided that I would not link to any schools because I don't think I've ever linked to anything that costs money like this. I'm sure you can do a little research yourself if you're thinking of going.

Missy

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