SHOULD HE TELL HIS WIFE THAT HE'S BISEXUAL AND HELPING ANOTHER MAN FINANCIALLY? OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

I thought I was happily married for years and then I met "Roger." Roger races cars.  He takes risks I couldn't.  He needed sponsorship and I provided it, with my wife's knowledge.  Then it turned into something more, something unexpected.  I still enjoy sex with my wife.  With Roger I'm careful. I can afford to help him financially, so from my own income I've been helping him more.  I'm in love with two people in two different ways.  What am I going to do? 

Down Low in Memphis

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Off to therapy you go, but you'll have to find a therapist who specializes in sexuality.  I know you're feeling really intense and maybe you're going to have two enduring relationships or maybe you just think so and will someday look back and think of Roger as an experiment.

These days lots of people, especially young people, experiment with their sexuality,  Maybe you never did.  My point is that I don't think one relationship with someone of the same gender proves you're bisexual or homosexual, not necessarily.  I think exploring in a qualified therapist's office may make things easier on you. 

For some people there is the "a - HA!" moment when they just know.  For instance one of my women friends told me that when she was 5 she saw another girl on the playground and felt an attraction. The girl was interested in the boys playing basketball so my friend decided she should be a boy and play basketball.  Today she considers herself bisexual but 90% of her relationships are with men, and she says that because she wants children that works for her. Being bi-sexual does not mean you have to have two people in your life at one time.

As for the money issue, my opinion is that if all the money in the marriage is split by the two people in it, each should get to spend some of their "own" money as they want to.  However, most married people seem to keep track of their spouses spending.  At some point I think you will probably have to make a decision to stay or go or have both people in your life, if they both agree. Your wife deserves to know of this change in your relationship with her, because she agreed to be married to one person, and makes her own decision about how she wants to live her life, with or without you.  I think you may want to include her in on your therapy sessions. 

I wish you the best.  Your situation isn't so unusual.

Missy


C 2021 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot
All Rights Reserved