OPINION BY MISSY : I TANGLE WITH THE TERMINOLOGY : DEFINING MISTRESS

Through my Coronavirus-19 shut down experience, I've spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos and reading articles on the internet surround the issue of legal prostitution. The name ALICE LITTLE kept coming up as she has reportedly in recent years been the highest earning prostitute known.  Little's earnings are reflected in massive tax payments because she is a legal prostitute in the state of Nevada. She hints at the ownership of horses, investment property, and paying so much in taxes that she's sort of funding the county. It's said that Alice Little has made millions. She is a well spoken and intelligent woman who also has been an advocate for prostitution remaining legal in Nevada. She has sued to reopen the brothels closed due to Covid.

As Alice Little, who is four foot eight or nine inches tall and likely uses the stage name Alice Little, states, she is sometimes thought of or called a courtesan, but the wording that the state of Nevada uses on the licensing is prostitute.  I watched a number of her videos in which she exhibits great enthusiasm for her profession as well as "sex worker" knowledge, some of which she openly shares in an attempt to show how friendly she is, tease potential customers, and normalize prostitution. In one of the videos, which seemed to be a recording of a talk show in which she was the guest and the host or moderator asked a number of good questions, Alice said the difference between a Mistress and a Courtesan is that a Courtesan "services" many but a Mistress only "services" one person.  

Ouch!  I do not agree with her definition.

One of the things we do here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot is consider definitions as we try to understand what being a Mistress means in the 21st Century.  Although often the word Kept is used for men and women who do not earn their own money, that would also define stay at home wives and husbands - those who do and do not have children - who are dependent on someone else for food, shelter, clothing, and a whole lot more.  I have to say that by suggesting that a Mistress is "servicing" a man, that the relationship is just another way a man pays for sex, turned me off and is inaccurate.

Reviewing the many Mistresses, Courtesans, and others profiled here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, I can say there is plenty of evidence that there is a difference between them and Prostitutes. So maybe it's just Alice Little's prostitute mentality and she doesn't see that Mistresses have relationships with men they are not married to and that Courtesan's may too but they choose their relationships. 

Relationships.

Basically, I agree with Nevada definition of Alice and her cohorts who live in brothels awaiting customers who pay for sex as prostitutes. I think applying the Courtesan label to herself is Alice's attempt to up her reputation because she charges so much and might be "choosing" only those customers who can afford her negotiated fees.

Earlier in this blog, I suggested that Courtesan describes a woman who, be it that she has one or many, chooses who she will have in her life, be it pure romance or just sex, or something inclusive of both. She has men vying for her company and she does well enough to reject those she is not interested in. Historically Courtesans want the rich life but that doesn't stop them from loving who they love or sharing their riches, including sometimes supporting lovers. Some spurn men who can't afford gifts such as jewelry, fine art, and houses but that used to be saving for a rainy day because there was no retirement. There wasn't a menu of "parties" with rates listed. Nor is the Courtesan hidden away in a bordello. She is out and about with her friends and companions.

Genuinely positive and warm feelings, even love, can exist between a Courtesan and her favorites. That's why Pamela Digby Churchill Harriman, was called The Courtesan of the Century. For many years before she married, she made it her life's work to make wonderful homes for her men, entertaining, dressing beautifully and being an interesting companion, and she stayed friendly with them even as they were breaking with her. This lifelong habit of having a generous spirit resulted in her becoming a fund raiser for the Democratic party. I would never confuse Pamela with a prostitute.

Let's ask these questions: Is a legal wife just "servicing" her husband, so she'll have a man father her children, live with her, maybe have difficulty getting out of a relationship with her, and support her financially?  

Does a woman who is living in a polygamous lifestyle and sharing a man knowingly with other women and who is willing to have as many children as is possible such as the Sister Wives  just "servicing" him?

I realize that most wives today also earn income, and today's Mistresses usually also earn some - or all - of their own income at regular jobs or have careers, but until fairly recently, certainly in the last couple centuries, most wives were totally dependent on their husbands for the financial support. To this day some women are resistant to marriage if a man cannot or will not do this for them. Women who were not married were vulnerable to being preyed upon.

Another "test" of a relationship is this: Would Alice Little or any of the other women who work at the legal brothel still arrange to see a man if they knew they would not be paid?  What if he paid many times and then showed up broke? My guess is no.

I can't ask "What if he pays for companionship and does not have sex?" because that does happen, however, the most modern of services now offered on a prostitute's menu is "the girlfriend experience." This is the paid for time the prostitute spends on a "date" such as going out to dinner, or as Alice Little says, seeing the sights, even going into Vegas (where prostitution is illegal), having fun and getting to know one another better. In my opinion the "Girlfriend Experience" is probably the most time consuming and expensive fantasy experience a customer can buy and much easier on the prostitute though she has to be an excellent actress to offer all that to one stranger after another. The so called Girlfriend Experience further blurs the line between what is or is not a relationship and is closer to the Escort Experience, which also, it is said, may not result in sexuality each and every time, but in which the escort is also said to provide companionship. Question again is if the woman who got paid by the hour, day, weekend, or week as an Escort or a Girlfriend will see that person if no money is paid.

Now flip this around and look at dating for women who expect not to have sex or feel at all obligated to have sex with someone, just because he paid for a movie or dinner or some other activity. He probably did pay because he did the asking and he has a higher income: more women with higher incomes are paying for dates as well as Keeping men. 

Dating one or several men, just taking one's time to get the know someone before having a serious commitment and waiting until then is not just Old Fashioned. It's recommended by many dating coaches as the best way to find someone to marry.

No one I know wants to accept a date, especially when she has just met someone, if she thinks or she feels sex with the man will be obligatory payment for a night out. No one I know wants to have a flirtation or simply be curious about another person and accept an invitation to meet with that person socially if they think or feel sex will be expected as payment. I know women who are in love with men who have, from the start, paid for every date but are not yet sexual with them.

I'm with the State of Nevada. When you go to a brothel, which is a place to have sex, legal or not, you are paying for sex with a prostitute, a woman who has sex with many men and/or women for payment, and that is the point, though for one reason or another sex may not happen.

One more thing: one of Alice Little's videos suggests that the fantasy of being with three uniformed "school girls" is certainly possible at the brothel. I don't know for how many more years she will appear youthful enough to play at being a schoolgirl. Because she is so short and has a girl-next-door face it's easy to imagine her in a school girl uniform.  I'm not comfortable that this pedophile's fantasy may be normalizing pedophilia.

Does this kind of "party" embolden a pedophile?


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Note: March and April 2019 were devoted to Courtesan of the 20th Century Pamela Digby Churchill Harriman, so if interested in learning more about her go to those posts!  Or you might want to run the word Courtesan through the search feature on this blog and see what comes up!