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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

SHOULD SHE LET HIM PAY A YEARS RENT IN ADVANCE SO THAT SHE CAN TRAVEL WITH HIM ? : OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Missy,

I lost a good job due to cut backs at my company months ago. I went on one interview where I wasn't hired but I did get asked out for drinks.  I accepted, thinking this man would have some career advice for me or some leads, or that maybe in the future when there was an appropriate opening at the company he works for he would remember me.  So I met him for drinks and we had a good time.  He's funny.  We started dating.  In the mean time I signed up at a couple temp agencies.  Not much is happening with that.

Jed is divorced and well off.  He is retiring early in a few months and he has offered to pay my rent ahead for a year so I won't loose my apartment and so I can go traveling with him.  He wants to go to Scotland and Italy and travel all around.  All I have to do is go! He says I can chose a third location to target!  He says anywhere.  I've always wanted to see the Great Wall of China!

I'm feeling like I should.  I'll probably work till the day I die and have never had a chance to travel in my life.  I put myself through college waitressing and I put in a lot of overtime at my old company.  My personal savings are not enough to pay my own rent for a year away and I do worry about being out of the marketplace that long but I'm thrilled with the idea. I feel like Jed and I get along well.

Any Opinion?

Alice
Virginia

ANSWER FROM MISSY

Dear Alice,

 If you've been grinding at education and work for years, you probably deserve a year off, though I can't predict if that will be held against you when you return and are back to supporting yourself. I wish I knew how long you've been dating Jed and why all you think the two of you get along well, but I'll believe you!  However, sometimes even the best of friends do not make for the best travel companions. Just like sometimes the best of friends don't make the best room mates. I've had both situations not work out well for me.  My best friend who I traveled with clearly didn't want to go alone but dominated the entire trip. I'll admit I let her, but then we were only gone a week. My best friend who I moved in with after college was nothing like the fun person I spent holidays with.
So how about you tell Jed you'd like to do some more local travel and shorter trips to see how you get along.  I like that he's willing to let you choose a location to go to. Run that Great Wall idea past him and see if he's into it. He should understand that you want to keep your relationship and not be together too much all at once.

Missy

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