RABBI SMULEY BOTEACH ADVISES KOSHER ADULTERY TO AFFAIR PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE : OPINION MY MISSY

I've just finished reading KOSHER ADULTERY by Shmuley Boteach. This famous Jewish author, who previously wrote KOSHER SEX, an international best seller, is advising that husband and wife play games with each to keep sex like it is supposed to be in an adulterous affair - always "hot."

Now, perhaps sexual attraction is a predominant motivation for having an affair, but by my way of thinking it is not the only motivation and by my way of thinking sex alone never kept any relationship going. What is probably more true that sexual attraction is the way most relationships of the romantic kind start. If you're not really attracted or the attraction doesn't remain intense, then maybe you become and stay friends. By my way of thinking many husbands and wives become friends and stay together through the years for other reasons, such as family pride, raising children, or finances.

In fact I think the primary motivation for affairs is emotional not sexual. I tend to think that if a relationship is solid it is impervious to affairs and that people are looking for more than great sex in relationships. In particular they want to be loved, yes, "for themselves."

Don't laugh.

I know you can all come up with examples of people who are unlovable but who expect to be loved for themselves, despite their bad, even gross, habits, inability to make a buck, or some other loathsome or questionable characteristic.

Any time you feel sorry for yourself in a relationship because the love of your life is a little too much this (hardworking, spoiled, or selfish?) or not enough of that (beautiful, athletic, or rich?) you meet someone who has it worse or better! You have to be really motivated to stay in any relationship for many years and we can't help but do a little comparison shopping from time to time, but maybe we're better prepared for our own headaches rather than taking on someone else's?

I thought I would excerpt some parts of the book that I thought of as especially worth sharing, especially because John Edwards and Reilly Hunter will be all the news this month.

Missy

C 2012 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto All Rights Including Internet and International Rights