WHY ARE YOU AGAINST FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS MISSY? IS THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP THE SLIPPERY SLOPE TO BEING A MISTRESS?

Question for Missy:

Missy, I want to know why you're against Friends With Benefits  I'm 21 and a senior in college.  I'm smart and I use contraception.  I have two friends I have sex with.  We think this is a good way to avoid having sex with partners who would want more with us.  We're not ready to get married to anyone.

Becky

UCLA - Los Angeles

Answer from Missy:

I'm for Choice and respect that the Friends With Benefits lifestyle is your choice at this time in your life. However, it's possible that you might be missing out on being completely available to someone else who might be an excellent choice as a partner in your life in your youthful stage.  Let's face it that as the years go by it's more difficult to meet someone to partner with, not impossible but more difficult. Many college students find their first partners while at school.  After that is a career building period, with many feeling themselves established seeking a first marriage in their late twenties. Into your thirties a great number of previously available potential partners are already in commitments.  I tend to think a woman should consider being a Mistress only after having experienced their twenties - early thirties. By then a person probably knows themselves well enough.

Right now you're sort of man sharing and maybe you'll also find that an interesting way to live your life as a Mistress.  Here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot we continue to try to define what a 21st Century Mistress is or is not.  We know being a Mistress does not necessarily mean adultery or being involved with a person who is married.  We also know that there are many who give it a try and do not like it.  The days of the Classic Mistress, a woman who is fully supported for her lifetime by a rich married man, may be over.  We also know that the best mistresses are not known to us. a

I tend to think that a woman should experience her sexuality and figure out where she's at with it before she partners. I also tend to think this, which I recently shared with a man I know.  I said to him - and to you - and my readers - that idealistically I think it should be that people get to experience loving in many ways and with many people - with everyone in the know and unbothered by jealousy - but pragmatically we choose commitment to have and hold family.  In the Western world the majority do marry and attempt to restrict their lives to just one partner, making those in Open Relationships or who share a partner with someone else in the minority.

And though there are women who Keep men, and there are women who have more than one lover at a time, it's usually men who have arrangements such as this.

So check in with yourself Becky, and ask yourself if you're the type to happily remain independent and relatively unattached, and what it would be to have great sex with someone you love rather than with a friend you like.  Will you be OK when one or both of your Friends With Benefits partners end it with you because they found someone Special?

Missy

AUDREY MUNSON as THE SETTING SUN

From Sunset Magazine Cover in 1915

Audrey's looks were considered Classic and so, as a model,

she often embodied mythological characters

from the pantheons of the Romans or Greeks.

This image, found in Google Images, is the cover of Sunset, The Pacific Monthly magazine, for October 1915.  The sculpture called The Setting Sun, which was photographed for the covert,

was made by Adolph Alexander Weinman for the Panama-Pacific International Exposition.

 

FLORODORA GIRLS : MANY MARRIED MILLIONAIRES

According to the book, The Curse of Beauty by James Bone, which is about the career and life of Audrey Muson, Marion Davies had appeared in the 1930 movie The Floradora Girl but in real life she had been a Ziegfeld Follies girl.  (The costumes these girls wore left a lot to the imagination compared to the clothing actresses wear on the Red Carpet today.)

Evelyn Nesbit had also been picked out of Floradora Chorus line....

You know I've dedicated a month to these women in the past!

You may be interested in:

February 2017 Archives find:

EVELYN NESBIT : Teenage Beauty and Mistress of Architect Stanford White: Before It Was All Over There Was A Murder

July 2013 Archives find"

MARION "ROSEBUD" DAVIES : MISTRESS OF NEWSPAPER MAN AND HEARST CASTLE BUILDER  WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST

AUDREY MUNSON : UNSTABLE and SPINNING CONSPIRACY THEORIES : POSSIBLY PREGNANT BY HERMAN OELRICH JR? THE SILVER MINING HEIR?

Page 189: "Ever since Girl O Dreams, Audrey's mental health had seemed to ebb and flow.  At times, she became convinced the world was out to get her, she spun incredible conspiracy theories, and lost her reason. She looked for culprits, weather secretly funded by the Kaiser, or part of some other imagined plot.  At other times, she was again her bright and charming self, childishly enthusiastic, friendly, and disarmingly funny. She seemed to lack control over her moods, and there is some suggestion that she tried to self-medicate with drugs - although her mother always vehemently denied it.  Audrey was at war with herself."

Audrey even wrote a long letter to the State Department going against Hermann Oelrichs and others, people who had deeply hurt her. The Gypsy Queen's world about Dead Sea may have been taken to mean Jewish people.  Audrey seemed to be antisemetic at a time when that was not uncommon. If she had not been secretly married to the man, perhaps she had been his Mistress and pregnant at one time.

Page 188 : Excerpt from her letter:

"You will see how pro-German Hermann Oelrichs is when he tried to frame me up with an Irish Doctor I called upon for an errand.  The Doctor had witnesses in the Anti-Room and tried to make out because I was going to England that I was about to become a mother.  I have heard this openly discussed in street-cars and one the street by women who were this mans (sic) agents." (Misspelling is hers.)

Was she actually ever pregnant?  A miscarriage? An abortion? Gave the child up for adoption in Canada?  Her mother said no.  Audrey was unsure.

Here is where I have to express that more than one woman who spoke up to defend herself or was open with her opinions, and who made an enemy or two, found themselves labeled "crazy" or mental illness was used as some sort of defense. As well, I speculate that her mother, Kittie, may have done the best thing possible for Audrey at the time because the mother-daughter duo were so poor. An institution might not be much but might provide as much as a homeless shelter might today.

But early in 1919 the Munsons were living in Long Beach, New York, in a boarding house owned by a sixty-five year old man who was on his third marriage, a Doctor Walter Keene Wilkins, and though it became convoluted and he always denied he was the murderer, Doctor Wilkins was convinced of murdering his wife with blows to her head with a hammer.  He was sentenced to die in the electric chair but committed suicide awaiting.

Page 199 : Detectives told the press they were seeking an actress as "the other woman" in a love triangle to explain why the normally amiable Dr. Wilkins hammered his wife to death.  Two days after Dr. Wilkins was arrested, the Washington Times reported: "A definite clew indicating that a pretty young woman may prove to be an important factor in the solution of the murder of Mrs. Julia Wilkins whose husband Dr. Walker K., Wilkins, who was indicted for murder in the first degree, has been found, according to Detectives working on the case.  The eternal triangle is on the verge of being revealed, these Detectives assert, and sensational disclosures which will dwarf others so far unearthed, are soon to be made."

A postcard-sized ad of Audrey in her swimsuit was the clue.

This began the infamy of Audrey Munson which would ruin her modeling career and render her unemployable.  But both Dr. Wilkins and Audrey denied they had more than passing hellos between them.

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THE LASTING SCULPTURAL LEGACY OF AUDREY MUNSON "MISS MANHATTAN" in NEW YORK CITY

Two of the best YouTube videos about Audrey Munson I found, illustrating some of the sculptures she posed for. Additional information from the book by James Bone below.

 

This video is short but sweet. 

From the book here are the locations of some enduring pieces - a short list.

 A twenty five foot sculpture across from New York City Hall... It's the second tallest sculpture in New York city as the Statue of Liberty is first. It's on the Municipal Building.

The Pulitzer Fountain outside the Plaza Hotel near Central Park.

Arch at the end of the Manhattan Bride as "Spirit of Commerce"

Entrance of New York Public Library.

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AUDREY MUNSON : AN ATTEMPT TO BE ACCEPTED BY SOCIETY and MARRY A SILVER MINING HEIR GOES WRONG : THERE'S NO GOING FROM BOARDING HOUSE TO NEWPORT "COTTAGE"

Unlike the ever critical mother of Maria Callas, whom was our Mistress of the Month last month, Audrey Munson's divorced mother Kittie, seemed to not only depend on her, but appreciate her. Home from a day of holding poses, her muscle's stiff, Kittie would massage her daughter.  Kittie also went to work at poorly paying jobs to provide.  It would be Kittie, however, who determined that Audrey was not capable of dealing with the world and committed her to a mental hospital.

Kittie also took her daughter to Eliza the Gypsy Queen when she was a girl.  The Gypsy Queen seemed to be making a soothsaying tour at the time.  She told her:

"You shall be beloved and famous.  But when you think that happiness is yours, its Dead Sea fruit shall turn to ashes in your mouth.

You, who shall throw away thousands of dollars as a caprice, shall want for a penny. You, who shall mock at love, shall seek love without finding.

Seven men shall love you.  Seven times you shall be led by the man who loves you to the steps of the altar, but never shall you wed." (page 2)

So, after three silent films beginning in 1915 Hollywood, Inspiration, Purity, and Girl o' Dreams, after years of modeling for famous sculptures and photographers, Kittie was an early Hollywood film star with aspirations and already having spurned some of the men who had been interested in her.  The lack of publicity for the last film and what may have been a significant rip off by the film maker added to her stress. Mother and daughter moved to the beach community of Santa Barbara, where it was clear that daughter was supporting them both.  It was a time in which women still had a few years wait for the vote and bra's were being patented as liberating. Audrey was photographed wearing a man's one piece swim suit that was more revealing than what women wore into the ocean and seemed to be a spokeswoman for liberation. 

Around 1916, Audrey took the fifth man into her life and this time, though there had been speculations about her sexuality due to her nude modeling, this man probably was a lover. She wrote a semi fictional newspaper account of her love life and gave him the name Gordon, but other than that he was a "movie director" and an older man, not much is really known about him.

Audrey moved to Newport, Rhode Island. If she was a Mistress, her involvement with a silver mining heir, Herman Oelrich Jr., whose mother, Tessie Oelrich, had been unusually accepted by society, though they were Catholics, may have been when. (Audrey had been raised nominally as a Catholic as her mother was of Irish Catholic ancestry.) Kittie Munson was very much one to promote the two of them had married - perhaps secretly.  While there seems to be no document that would prove a marriage, perhaps Kittie wanted to save Audrey's reputation. For on the 1930 and 1940 United States census, she is listed as Audrey M. Oelrich.

Though he did eventually marry, Herman was a lousy choice to be a husband.  He was violent and alcoholic and possible gay.

During this time, ripped off financially and rejected or unable to find a suitable mate, Audrey began to have the mental problems that were probably triggered by stress.

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DANCER

No that's not Audrey....

 

AUDREY MUNSON AS AN ARTIST'S MODEL : SHE SAW IT AS AN AUDIENCE OF ONE : ON SCULPTOR and EVEN A LADY LIBERTY COIN

Arnold Genthe - Photographer, Felix Benedict Herzog - sculptor, Isadore Konti - and so very many more.  Audrey saw her nude posing as for an audience of one.  She was paid about fifty cents an hour. 

Using the Inflation Calculator here: Fifteen cents in 1913 be about fifteen dollars an hour in 2024. (An unlivable wage.)

In this Rochester-made video it's noted that she was the model for over 100 statues exhibited in the 1915 World's Fair and a Lady Liberty coin.  (According to the book, she demurred and said she had been just one of the models for the coin.)

At the time Audrey's nude modeling was considered daring but not pornography.  She embodied the classic Greek and Roman notions of womanhood and femininity. She was never posed or enacted a sexual act. The term "supermodel" came decades later into pop culture, and today's models for photography and on runways rarely also pose as artist's models for sculpture. She is the model for many works of sculpture that endure today.  In 1915 at the World's Fair, sculptures of her were made just for the exhibition.

Audrey Munson was at the height of her fame after she made Hollywood history acting in a 1915 film called Purity.  It was after that film - she made two more - that she attempted to live separately of her mother and enter society, perhaps hoping for a suitable rich husband.

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AUDREY MUNSON : AMERICA'S FIRST "SUPERMODEL" : AN ALLEGED INVOLVEMENT WITH A MARRIED MEN LED TO HIS SUICIDE AND THE END OF HER CAREER and SANITY

AUDREY MUNSON

Audrie Marie Munson

1891-1996

I'm electing Audrey Munson, called "America's First Supermodel" to the Honorary Mistress of the Month pantheon here at Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot, because she denied that she had an affair with a married man, but whatever the truth of it was, it ended her career after he, assumed to be love sick and mentally ill,  murdered his wife.  There was plenty of evidence that he did murder his wife, with seventeen blows to the head with a hammer, so the question is, was Audrey a victim of the sexism of the era and the press?

There is also the possibility that she was the mistress of a silver mining heir, one of the richest men in America, who was known to be alcoholic and abusive (and possibly gay, though he did eventually marry), Herman Oelrich Jr.  Audrey may have become pregnant by this man but whatever actually happened, her mother seemed to cover the adventure by declaring her as Audrey Oelrich on two United States census.

Audrey Munson never earned much money and she and her mother, Kittie, who was divorced, mostly lived in boarding houses. She was a chorus girl (called a chlorine) and made her Broadway debut before the age of 18. And she was supposed to have been "discovered" while walking down the street. America's first supermodel made about fifty cents an hour or thirty dollars a week. A loaf of bread was about a nickel but this was just enough for the daughter-mother duo to pay their rent. They were living in one that Doctor Walter Wilkins owned when the murder occurred. 

Perhaps the doctor's motive was to get rid of his wife because she was an obstacle to marrying Audrey. Audrey and her mother moved out and went to take care of business in Canada, behavior that they justified but which was considered suspicious. He denied any involvement with her. She declined to testify against him.

Doctor Wilkens commit suicide by hanging himself while awaiting the electric chair. 

Eventually Audrey herself was committed to a mental institution by her mother and lingered there for sixty-five years. However, her mental or emotional decline may have started before this scandal. She died in obscurity having reached the age of about 104!

Was she cursed as the title if this book suggests?

Was Audrey driven to insanity - paranoia - because of the infamy of this scandal? 

Did Audrey take the Gypsy Queens predictions for her life too seriously, and interpret what happened through the eyes of the psychic?

Now, I have to admit that I hesitated to elect Audrey Munson to this honor because I frankly think her obscurity ended some years ago; there are very many YouTube videos and articles about her and her tragic life that I had to curate. I hope to bring something a little different to my coverage of her.  So while I will be using James Bone's book about Audrey - The Curse of Beauty -  I cast my net wide for information about Audrey Munson.

The first notion that came to me is is that we need to think about what Monica Lewinsky, a young woman who was raised in far more liberated times when it comes to sexuality, has been through. I've been an advocate for getting off Monica's back since way back in the day when she became infamous due to her involvement with the then President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton, who didn't suffer a bit in comparison. Let's go back to Audrey Munson's day - the early twentieth century when the judgement about a young woman's sexuality could effect her entire future. It was even assumed that any woman who acted or sang or danced was a prostitute. In 2016, when I covered ballerina Celestine Emarot, the Mistress of Baron Charles de Chassiron and Ferdinand De Montguyon and the French ballerina Courtesons, we learned that a young dancer often had to have a "patron" so she could afford the lessons, toe shoes and clothing, and eat. Not so long ago it was near impossible for a unmarried adult woman to be supported in this world without a man with limited educational and career options.

I'm always trying to sort through the expectations of purity, the expectations of waiting until married (or at least marrying the first man one has sex with), the expectations that one will be sexual after marriage, the expectations that one will marry, the expectations that one will marry once and stay married - and then all the changes in attitude we've gone through until here we are today.

In 1908, she made Audrey Munson first performance as a teenager at the Rocky Point Amusement Park in the "Dancin' Dolls" chorus line. By 1909 she was performing at the Casino Theatre in New York on the "Great White Way" which was what Broadway was called because of the new electric lights.

She became one of the Floradora Girls and all six of the original girls married a millionaire. (Evelyn Nesbit had also been picked out of a Floradora chorus line as a teenager. Certainly she must have heard of the scandal when Nesbit's lover killed another man over her.) Before she turned eighteen, Audrey made her Broadway debut in "The Boy and The Girl." 

Her first break in New York as an artist's model might have been because she was sighted on the street by photographer Felix Benedict Herzog.  For three months she posed for him but with her mother in attendance to protect her. She posed for mythic schemes like in Old Master's Paintings.

Audrey was called "Miss Manhattan" because so many sculptures around Manhattan were ones she posed for, as well as the "Panama-Pacific Girl" and "The Exposition Girl" because she posed for those marketing events for paintings, sculptures, and magazine covers.  "American Venus" is also a more general affirmation of her as a beautiful model.

Audrey was the first Silent Screen era actress to appear nude in a film called Inspiration in 1915!  It was one of three films she appeared in. The film was not pornography. To give some perspective, The Birth of a Nation, Hollywood's first motion picture, came out the same year.

But so much went wrong.  In 1931 by Oswego County court order she was committed to St. Lawrence State Hospital in Ogdensburg, New York and live there almost sixty-five years - the majority of her life. Though her mother thought it was temporary, the woman eventually moved to a boarding house in the same town. Audrey may have had schizophrenia.

So this month I'll muse about the curse as well as what all made Audrey "crazy" enough to be committed to a mental hospital (then called insane asylum) by her own mother, where she languished the majority of her life!  Her records, which staff members saw during her years there, were sealed and she was buried in an unmarked grave.

Missy

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You may find these archived posts interesting:

September 2016

CELESTINE EMAROT-  MISTRESS OF BARON CHARLES de CHASSIRON and FERDINAND De MONTGUYON and the French Ballerina Courtesans

February 2017

EVELYN NESBIT : Teenage Beauty and Mistress of Architect Stanford White: Before It Was All Over There Was A Murder