NEW YEAR 2015!

Happy New Year! by Irina Pechkareva from publicdomainpictures.net

WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO ABOUT DATING VERSUS MATING?

What Would Jackie Do?
Gotham Group - Penguin
C 2005 Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway

Excerpt from PICKING A DATE VERSUS A MATE
pages 102-103 - 104 -105

It is unwise to hook up with men who are merely outwardly eligible - i.e. the multitude of socially inept bankers and lawyers and ad men who stuff themselves into custom-made Italian suits but have no interest in seeing Rome....... You'll do far better to choose a successful, broad-minded man who not only looks good...but can give you the platform you so richly deserve. ... Business leaders, entrepreneurs, politicians, artists, and other(employed) intellectuals are all find candidates. So, too, are emotionally balanced men with trust funds - as long as they have some cause or activity to keep their time, and minds. occupied...

Know where the boys are:

Swell parties,

Concerts,

Smart Cafe's (Starbucks does not qualify),

Any Embassy. The diplomatic service attracts adventurous single men who are gifted in several tongues and favorable male-female ratios.

Church Events (It's okay to recreationally stray to a church in a wealthier zip code.)

Schools You Couldn't Get Into
Antique Fairs/ Auction Houses (Not just haunts for gay men, these places are a magnet for straight art-history types with a taste for finer things...

At and around the office.

Yacht clubs, hunt clubs, nightclubs.
On the tennis court.
At the riding stables.
(Avoid picking up men at your regular gym.)

I RAN UP THE DOOR : POEM BY ANONYMOUS

I ran up the door
Opened the stairs
Said my pajamas
And put on my prayers
Turned off my bed
Tumbled into my light
And all because
You kissed me good-night

- Found on the Internet under Anonymous

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

CHARLOTTE ELIZABETH AISEE Quotation

"I know only one art; to make life so sweet to him I love that he will find nothing preferable to it."


Charlotte Elizabeth Aisse 
1694-1733French

KEELY SMITH : ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE STREET

WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO ABOUT CHOOSING MEN?

Excerpt  from the book WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO
What Would Jackie Do?
Gotham Group - Penguin
C 2005 Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway

PLAY WITH THE BOYS, BUT CHOOSE A MAN OF SUBSTANCE

pages 106-107-108-109

MALE TYPE O
Men with keen minds (who aren't intimidated by ours).
Enthusiastic flatterers.
Men who know how to wield a soup spoon (scoop outward).
Men with pedigrees.
Men who like your children.
Men who know quality (i.e. you) when they see it.

PUT MEN IN THEIR PROPER PLACE

MAKE SURE HE IS AGE APPROPRIATE

Any man over thirty who considers clubs and bars to be his main social outlet falls solidly into the playboy/dunce category. It doesn't matter if he's got a Harvard MBA. Jackie equated maturity with dependability. Keep these (other) guys around for fun - for the occasional ego boost, free meals, etc.

WANDERING HANDS YES, wandering EYES NO. (Choose admirers who are happy - dare we say grateful?- to be with you.)

Jettison men who don't treat their mothers with respect.

TEST HIS PLATFORM
Ideally, your other half should open up a second world of opportunities to you. For some that connotes wealthy circles, for others, it may mean expose to an intellectual crowd, new places and ideas.

NOTICE WHAT HE KEEPS CLOSE AT HAND. (Missy here.  This means in his habitat.)

JACK AND JACK HONEYMOON PHOTO

VANITY FAIR - JACKIE AND JACK IN HONEYMOON PHOTOBOOTH

ARE YOU A HONEY TRAP? MISSY ASKS YOU!

I have known only one true HONEY TRAP in my life!  (T'wasn't me!)

"Cindy" was expert at hiding her true self and projecting herself as any man's ideal woman.

I met her when she was involved with a friend of mine.  I actually told him he needed to give her more of a chance when, after a few weeks of dating, he said he had this odd feeling, like he really wasn't getting to know her.  I dismissed his feeling but I was so wrong!  He broke with her and she became very depressed.  She even told him off.  But soon he was out buying her an expensive "perfect gift" and they remained friends.

In fact "Cindy" was still friends with a multitude of men she had once dated, slept with, or had relationships with.

I had to be in her life for some time to begin to figure out what was real or what was make-believe or how much she believed herself.  Was she completely lacking self identity, truly willing to conform to a man's interests to be with him, or was she the smartest woman yet, having always a great number of men to pick from?

This woman had a Masters in Psychology but, she said, she didn't believe in therapy.  Yet, in friendship with her, she posed very much as a Therapist.  She asked interesting questions.  She listened well.  The only trouble was, when ever you tried to ask her the same question and get a response, she expertly moved the conversation back to YOU. 

In the year or so that we were friends, "Cindy" managed to attract several men besides my friend. She had absolutely no problem attracting them. I watched her as she gazed into their eyes, changed her schedule to be available to the ones she wanted to be available for, and  I stepped aside as she was wildly promiscuous (though none of them knew that!)

When I'm friends with another woman, I really do want to know who she really is.  I want to know what her hopes and dreams are, as much as I want to know about her disappointments and hurts.

So if YOU ARE A HONEY TRAP, could you share a bit about your philosophy of life and why you live this way?

Missy

DO I HAVE TO DECIDE RIGHT NOW?

FRANK SINATRA : IT WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR

DECORATING THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Invite a friend to help you decorate your tree

for the holidays.  Then go out on the town!

WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO ABOUT LETTING A MAN TAKE HER SHOPPING?

WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO?
Gotham Group - Penguin
C 2005 Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway

Excerpt from pages 72-73

Sticky Sartorial Situation #2:

Your fabulous new boyfriend has a big heart and a bigger bank account, and he soon utters the words you've only dreamt about: " Meet me at Barneys..."
Should you, an independent, highly evolved woman in frantic need of a new Prada suit - take him up on his offer to dress you from head to heel?

Not so fast. Any man who's raring to take you shopping - and pay the tab - probably has some major control issue festering... He's also probably done this before, which means you might have to face smirking salesclerks who may - accidentally, of course - call you by the wrong name. The bottom line: You'll be obliged to get what he likes (which may not be your tastes) and strut in it to boot. You may feel more like a tart that a treat.

Far better to have a man who surprises you with gifts (which you can accept and later return/consign if necessary). Jackie happily accepted bounty from men her entire life, from horses to rare sculptures and fabulous jewels. So if a man simply offers his Amex card, and urges you on to a solitary shopping spree, Jackie would have just one word of advice. "Taxi!"

THAT ROMANTIC WALK IN SNOWY NEW YORK'S CENTRAL PARK

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Children

"My children are a priority.  If I have none but want children, I will express myself in my relationship about this."

The late Jackie Kennedy Onassis thought raising her children well was the most important thing she could do. The flew back and forth from Europe to be there for them. We all need to check in with ourselves about the children we have and the children we hope to have. Not all women are natural or perfect mothers. In fact, every parent probably makes mistakes. There are errors in judgment and then there is abuse. One mistake you don't want to make is ignoring or neglecting your children. If you're in a relationship and you want children, be sure to tell that to your partner. Will you be a good mother?  Can you provide what children deserve and need? What sort of parent will this person make?  Have they already had their family?  

Are they interested in having another family?

SHOPPING FOR THE PERFECT PRESENT FOR HIM? SOME IDEAS from MISSY!

What to give him as a present?

Someone who may seem to have "everything?"  

(Or who makes or has a whole lot more money than you!)

Someone who may not be able to take whatever it is home with him?

Someone who doesn't want to explain to anyone about where he got it?

I may not have the perfect answer but I do have an opinion!

Let's all face the fact that shopping for presents for men can be difficult and even boring because men just do not have or need as much stuff as women do and can be terribly practical themselves.  We all know of men who have worn the same shoes or haircut for years and who will tell you that they do not NEED anything. 

So first of all, just try to make three lists. 
The things he hates. 
The things he already has. 
The things he likes.

TRY!

Never ever wrap yourself up (in cellophane, a bow, or the latest from a lounge wear shop) and present yourself for sex as a present!  Sex is something you do or don't have but you are never a present!  You are not a PRODUCT.  You're a person.

As a matter of fact YOU CAN'T BE BOUGHT!

(This is why, though it happens, that someone who has seriously been a prostitute rather than a courtesan, has the all wrong mentality to be a good mistress!)

Secondly, a present is usually NO FUN if you ask someone to just tell you what they want and then go buy it. There should be some mystery and surprise and some humor.

However, you can ask around the subject in a general way  ("Honey, what do you think of this taxidermy?).  Ask his friends for some clues and become very observant of what he likes when you go out shopping together. (He has a thing for purple?  Maybe he'd wear some purple suspenders!) One friend of mine found herself in a big New York store with her man and a couple hundred dollars in her pocket and was thinking of buying him whatever music CD's he wanted when he took off to let her find him trying on colognes like he was leading her right to what he wanted.  The cologne he liked was inexpensive but he was happy with it as a gift.

Don't break your budget or use a lot of the money he gifted you to gift him.  Really if he has such advantage financially that he wants to make your life easier and better, then accept that, live that, appreciate that, and don't essentially let himself buy himself a gift by trying to impress him with what you can do without.

This is why the "home-made" gift is sometimes the best.  Sometimes cooking his favorite meal, decorating your home, setting a beautiful table, putting on your perfume and an apron and just cooking what he loves is a great gift. 

I also know someone who wrote a heartfelt and beautiful poem which she read aloud to her man, and she says that she thinks it made a big positive difference in their relationship.  This poem you write should be funny if possible, never too serious, focusing on good times you had together, things that made you laugh.  It should never say that you will love him till the day you die, even if you will.  Tell him that after you get married if you ever do.

A present should probably not be something that he already has lots of and can buy himself any old day like ties, socks, and shirts for work.  Too predictable, boring, too much like someone else will buy him. However, sports and work out related stuff that he can keep at the gym locker might work as may caps, shirts, and other favorite team related items.

Something such as an accessory for the car he just bought, might work also.  Wouldn't it be fun if you bought him a HOOD ORNAMENT!  He could look at it whenever he drives.

Avoid gift certificates.  Avoid anything that may need to be returned with the receipt.  And, if you are a Mistress, do not call him "just this once" to wish him happy holidays, even if he tells you to.  Let him call you!  - Missy


C 2014 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

WONDER WHAT'S IN THIS ONE!

WHAT WOULD JACKIE (KENNEDY ONASSIS) DO? THAT'S WHAT AUTHORS SHELLY BRANCH and SUE CALLAWAY FIGURED

 

I enjoyed this book and you may too. 

 

The authors Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway obviously had a lot of fun imagining what Jackie Kennedy Onassis  (nee Jacqueline Bouvier*) would do in so very many social situations and about men and I think they got her. 

 

In my opinion, though duty to family, in particular her children, and the sense of being a historical figure and a public one, prevailed in her life, I've often thought that Jackie had many mistress qualities in her personality and character. I don't think that's how she got Jack.  It's how she got Ari. - Missy

 

What Would Jackie Do?
Gotham Group - Penguin
C 2005 Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway

WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO OFFICIAL WEB SITE  join in the fun!

P.S.  As for the Bouvier use the search feature on the sidebar to pull up posts on her cousin Little Edie and other Bouvier posts.

SKATING IN CENTRAL PARK - NEW YORK CITY

Image from Central Park Library - Philadephia

MISTRESS MANIFESTO : DECEMBER 2014 HOLIDAY EDITION (with a JACKIE KENNEDY ONASSIS THEME) : MESSAGE FROM MISSY

My Dear Readers,

I'm going to be Out Of Town this month, but as far back as September I've been thinking about my December 2014 Issue of Mistress Manifesto.  December has become the month in which I don't choose a Mistress of the Month, but look forward to the holidays and sort of wrap up the year.

My question for you, if you're a Mistress, or not, is if you're going to go through these few weeks content with your relationship status, be that unmarried, married, never married, whatever, if you're going to begin, stay in or end a relationship when the New Year comes, or if you're going to choose to move on into another way of life.

Our modern life is so challenging, and while I think it's good to think positive, that's not to say it's good to be in denial.  Intelligent decisions are mandatory!  So while I think it's a good idea to check in with yourself from time to time and speak your own truths to yourself, if no one else, something about the holidays, this first push into winter, can push you to those thoughts, while at the same time distracting you because of social events and all that good cheer.

If you happen to the type of person who is more alone than lonely, you may actually be looking forward to staying home, cooking a favorite meal, setting a nice table for yourself,  listening to music, decorating for the holidays (or maybe redecorating your whole place just because), or maybe getting all dressed up and taking yourself out to dinner at a lux restaurant, and if you're like me, a favorite way to spend down time is reading a new book.

This month I'm going to excerpt from a book that came out a few years ago that is based on what we know of the life of Jackie Kennedy Onassis, called WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO?. This book is both fun and thought-provoking, and you just might want to ask yourself WHAT IT IS YOU DO when...  you're looking for a mate instead of a date, a man wants to take you out shopping, or you have to choose a man among men.  

Jackie wasn't perfect.  We put her up on a throne when she was First Lady of the United States.  But we can learn from her to this day!  Isn't she fascinating?  Her daughter, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg has decided to reveal some of her mother's personal papers years before her mother willed it.  The Kennedys have bought up letters that Jackie sent to a Irish priest she had befriended before she married detailing her loss of faith in God after her husband, our President John F. Kennedy, was assassinated. There are so very many books about Jackie, including new ones that reveal what a psychological mess (rather than pillar of strength) she was after that historic event.  She had the nerve to be human!

So I hope you will find this month lighthearted...

I'm wishing everyone the best for the coming year!

Missy


C 2014  MistressManifesto.blogspot.com  Missy Rapport  All Rights including International and Internet Copyrights.


UPDATE JANUARY 2017


  Just completed reading this book on Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, one of modern history's most fascinating women. You may find it interesting, as I did.  Subtitled, One Remarkable Year When Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Defied Expectations and Rediscovered Her Dreams, you learn that, though she had many advantages, and being famous and having marvelous social and other contacts certainly helped, Jackie still had to push herself forward.  The Chapters are titled,  The Wife, The Writer, The Preservationist, The Widow, The Target, The Seeker, The Hot Prospect, The Working Woman, The Empty Nester.


All of us go through transients or phases, and these chapter titles are telling.  Also useful to us here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT, is a Chapter that includes much about Jackie, her sister Lee, and their eccentric relatives Big and Little Edie.  Little Edie was our Mistress of the Month a while ago, and  you can find her in these pages using the search feature embedded in the Blogger sidebar.  The relationship was this.  Big Edie was the sister of Jackie's father, nicknamed Black Jack.  So Little Edie was the cousin of Jackie and Lee.  Like Jackie, Little Edie had been a "Farmington debutant."


C 2017  Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot

BUCKING HORSE

IN THE MOOD : THE BBC BIG BAND ORCHESTRA

HERALDRY - CLANS AND FAMILYS

BELVOIR CASTLE TODAY

BELVOIR CASTLE OFFICIAL SITE - WEDDINGS - TOURS - SHOOTING

"Belvoir Castle  (pronounced Beaver) stands high on a hill overlooking 16,000 acres of woodland and farmland."

(Do you know how much bigger that is than the Vatican or the country of Monaco?)

EMMA the current DUCHESS OF RUTLAND

One of the most beautiful estates in he midlands of England.  Around 6 minutes on this video you get to the interiors.  Weddings are just one of the enterprises of the estate these days but it appears that shooting is the main activity that people come to the estate to pursue.

PICKY ABOUT YOUR BED? SO ARE CHIMPS!

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC - CHIMPS CHOOSY ABOUT THEIR BEDS  full article to read!

"What's more, the research bolsters the theory that high-quality sleep may have led to the evolution of modern humans, said study leader David Samson, an anthropologist at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

 

Chimpanzees build their beds—called nests—in tree canopies using branches that they harvest from specific tree species. They spend about eight to nine hours a night on these platforms..."

PRIMATES

HIS EX WIFE IS NOW A HOT SEX POT ROMANCE NOVELIST! OPINION BY MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hi Missy,

Over a decade ago I almost had an affair with a not yet totally divorced man.  He spent near no time talking about his ex-wife to be and he admitted he wasn't 100% sure which way it would go. I thought he was trying to be as honorable as can be and honest.

I was crazy about him and I struggled to keep things closer to friendship than an affair.  He was living separate of her and traveling without her quite a bit.  The children were in college.  He said they had been united in raising the children.  They were rich enough to send the children to all private schools.  The children had left home and were adults.  I knew they all got together for family occasions and also took vacations as a family but I ended all contact with him when he admitted he was going on a vacation with only her.  I was so sure that after all those years together they owed each other a second chance but I was secretly devastated.  My girlfriends told me I had to hold out to be number one in a man's life.

There were a few things he said over many months time though that gave me a certain impression of her.  Controlling for sure.  Always had to have her own way.  Greedy and materialistic.   He wanted to quit a job he hated and that's when she got them in more debt.  And until then no career of her own. He seemed under appreciated.

So the other day I was waiting for the carpet cleaner and bored.  I decided to check him out on the Internet where I learned yes they were now divorced.  The divorce must have come through about a year or so after I ended it with him.  The shock was that about that time she had also graduated from a school and is now "a well regarded practicing psychotherapist" who has written a hot sex novel.  (He never said "My wife is in college right now as we plan to uncouple.")  There was a picture of her wearing a sexy Cougar skin dress!  I can't say that I'd ever imagined what she looked like, but I had once seen him out with a different woman, and so I always thought that woman was his wife.  Not!

I read an excerpt of the novel and some reviews.  It was about a woman who was traveling in Europe and had an affair with a man half her age.  It sounded like it could be autobiographical. In the non-fiction bio she mentioned a dedication to ALL her EX HUSBANDS and EX BOYFRIENDS.  (How many has she had since she got a divorce and went wild?  He was her first marriage and in youth!)  I'm not in this woman's league and don't want to be.  That was why he was charmed with me.

I'm sorry I cancelled him from my life, even though I still think they clearly weren't done with each other at that point.  I have missed him. I'm wondering if I should try to get in touch with him.

Call me Judy in Los Angeles

ANSWER FROM MISSY

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION!

Judy, it seems to me that most of the time when an almost affair ends all has been said and done.  For all you know he may have had a woman in every coffee house on Ventura Blvd in the Valley.  When he told you he was going to Europe, maybe he was actually in town and at that Jeri's deli where all the Israelis hang out!  Was there any reason why he could not get in touch with you if he wanted to?  For instance did you change your phone number or move?  I think men who are motivated will make some effort.  I don't mean stalking or hiring a private eye, but an effort.

If he could have just picked up the phone or sent you a card after his divorce, let it be.  If you made it impossible for him to find you and his address is on the Internet send a simple card.  Not a torrid poem.  Not a long letter.  Not something illustrated with roses or hearts.  Write "Was thinking of you the other day" and your home phone number.  Then, don't wait for the phone to ring.

Missy

HILDA LEZARD'S LANDLORD, THE 9th DUKE RUTLAND, LETS HER LIVE IN A MANNER HOUSE RENT FREE

THE SECRET ROOMS by CATHERINE BAILEY

page  86

EXCERPT/NOTES by Missy

Using rent books, the author was able to learn that Hilda Lezard had moved into "The Hall"  a property owned by the estate in one of the close-by towns owned by the estate, in 1939. 

It was a stone and slated 17th century manor house in the center of the village at Eastwell and included a stable, gardens, and lawns on about four acres of property.  It had five bedrooms, servants quarters, dining, drawing, smoking, and billard rooms.

Don't know what her living situation was with her husband, perhaps they also had a manor house, but somehow, I don't think so.

Rent was about 350 pounds, (about 14,300 pounds in today's money).  HIlda had paid, upon moving in, an additional 10 pounds for the installation of electric light.  At John Henry Montagu- Manners - 9th Duke of Rutland's death,  Hilda owed the estate 370 pounds, a year's rental.  The implication was that she could not afford to live there or had been allowed to fall behind in payments (while her husband was absent abroad) and let me, Missy, say, the implication is that as a mistress she no longer had to pay rent.  If indeed she ever had actually taken money out of her own pocket.

Possibly more interesting is that the current family living at Belvoir, who allowed Catherine Bailey allowed into the Muniment Rooms, also pays an archivist to work with all those family papers left behind.  He helped the author find the 1919 sale catalogue of the estate when John's father, the 8th Duke of Rutland, had to sell a large portion of the estate due to financial problems keeping it.  "The Hall" had been up for sale bit was withdrawn at the last minute. 

This was twenty years before Hilda moved in, but it seems to me that this property was considered too special to sell.  Might it have been the house used by more than one Duke for his mistress.

C 2014 Mistress Manifesto - BlogSpot

All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

HERALDRY - SOME FAMILY CRESTS

<

PENNY SERANADE (1939) KENNY BAKER

THE DUKE WORKED ON SOMETHING UNTIL THE MOMENT OF HIS DEATH - WAS IT SOMETHING FOR HILDA?

THE SECRET ROOMS by CATHERINE BAILEY 

EXCERPT/NOTES by MIssy

What was John Henry Montagu - Manners, 9the Duke of Rutland up to until he died of pneumonia in the Muniment Rooms of Castle Belvoir?  It was 1940.  A few days before he died, he appeared to be recovering.  So he may have not known he was going to die.  In the book his doctors are portrayed accepting that he has dismissed them to continue work on his secret project.  Just as his brother who died in childhood of appendix might have lived today with medicine being so much more advanced, I can't help but think John Henry might have lived.

The Muniment Rooms of Belvoir Castle were a kind of archive space for the family letters and papers.   In some pictures of the castle you can see them as windowed rooms at the base of what looks to be a turret. The author of THE SECRET ROOMS, Catherine Baily, went into files and boxes that were on every available surface and had been left that way for years.  She worked with the family archivist as well as interviewing the servants.

pages 82-83

"What had he wanted to finish?  The one theory circulating among his servants was that it was a letter, or a package, for his mistress, the woman who broke into the Muniment Rooms a week after he died.  None of the servants I spoke to could remember her name, but a former housemaid told me that she had lived at Eastwell Hall.  It was an important lead.  Situated three miles from the Castle, The Hall belonged to the Belvoir Estate.  Whoever she was, she would have been a tenant of the Dukes."

page 87

There were also visitor books stored in the Muniment rooms. Hilda Lazard had first stayed at the castle in October 1936 and her husband wasn't with her.  Four months later she visited there again.  On both visits she waswith the guests Hubert Duggan and Phyllis de Janze, who were known to be part of the Kenyan "Happy Valley" set. (British who were living in Kenya, Africa).

"At John's funeral, 40 people had sent flowers.  Hilda's name was the last on a list.  But why did, 3 days after John was buried, did Hilda return to the caste in the dead of night and broken in to the Muniment Rooms?"

It was 1940, she was near 50 years old, but in the dark of night she had "climbed up fifteen feet up a drain pipe and then negotiated a precarious maneuver to an adjacent window ledge.  She was obviously determined to get into the castle at any cost."

She tried the window first . "According to servants this clandestine route of entry was one that she had used countless times before." 

Their affair went on for some years.

Was it to get a keepsake, or to retrieve something?

page 88

John had probably not seen Hilda in his last days.  Perhaps he was destroying incriminating love letters or perhaps there were rubies hidden somewhere for Hilda.  He was discreet.  She was not mentioned in his will.  Would he not have wanted to provide for her in some way?

C 2014 Mistress Manifest - BlogSpot 

All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

 

THE CARRIAGE HAS BEEN REPLACED BY THE IRON HORSE

HILDA LEZARD : MISTRESS of the MYSTERIOUS JOHN HENRY MONTAGU MANNERS, 9th DUKE OF RUTLAND

First published November 3 2014

Go to that month in the archives to read the whole month.

HILDA LEZARD : MISTRESS of the 

MYSTERIOUS JOHN HENRY MONTAGU MANNERS, 9th DUKE OF RUTLAND

HILDA SUSAN ELLEN COOPER aka HILDA LEZARD

1891 - 1961? or is that 1977?  Hmmm...
sorry no pic!

 

I first heard about HILDA LAZARD, our Mistress of the Month for November 2014 here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO, by reading an intriguing book called THE SECRET ROOMS, A True Story of  Haunted Castle, a Plotting Duchess, and a Family Secret, by author Catherine Bailey.  And oh was Violet, the Duchess, mother of John Henry Montagu Manners, plotting!  

Oh, the burden of wealth and heritage in Great Britain's upper crust during the early 20th century could crush all aspirations. 

You see, John Henry, her only son after his older brother Haddon died in childhood, was also the only heir to an immense estate, currently 16,000 acres and a lot of it has been sold!  Belvoir Castle and its properties had been in the family for hundreds of years and John Henry was on spot to be possibly the second wealthiest man in Britain. Mother didn't want him to see action in the war, be badly wounded and die, and as inheritances worked, see it all go to some other family.  Where would she live?  She wanted him to live and marry the appropriate bride and procreate.  So she plotted.

How much he knew about her plotting and when is an important question because many other aristocratic men risked their lives to serve and many of the men who volunteered from the estate died too and John Henry certainly seemed willing to see action. 

Violet may have even sacrificed the virginity of her daughter, John Henry's sister Diana, in the plot, expecting her to allow a married rich American playboy to court her in exchange for his influence in the plot.

According to Bailey, whose book is part of my research, HILDA LEZARD was born the daughter of Sir Daniel Cooper and his wife Harriet in Suffolk in 1891.  Harriet's father was Sir James Grant Suttie, the 6th Baronet of Balgone, so Hilda had family ties to the aristocracy that ran England, the peerage as it's called.

My overview:  Hilda was married four times, having tremendously bad luck with husbands.  Her first husband, who she married at age nineteen, was killed in World War I in action on the Front. Her second husband died soon after they married.  In 1918, she was on to her third husband but in the end it didn't work out.  

As one genealogy web site called The Peerage states: 

"Hilda Susan Ellen Cooper is the daughter of Sir Daniel Cooper, 2nd Bt. and Harriet Grant-Suttie. She married, firstly, Thomas Uchter Caulfield Knox, Viscount Northland, son of Uchter John Mark Knox, 5th Earl of Ranfurly and Hon. Constance Elizabeth Caulfeild, on 12 June 1912. She married, secondly, Hon. Geoffrey Edward Mills, son of Charles Henry Mills, 1st Baron Hillingdon of Hillingdon and Lady Louisa Isabella Lascelles, on 26 February 1917. She married, thirdly, Captain John Stewart Michael Wardell, son of Harold Wardell, on 30 April 1918.She and Captain John Stewart Michael Wardell were divorced in 1929. She married, fourthly, Julien Joseph Lezard, son of Louis Flavien Lezard, on 24 April 1929.

From 12 June 1912, her married name became Knox. From 26 February 1917, her married name became Mills. From 30 April 1918, her married name became Wardell. From 24 April 1929, her married name became Lezard."

So, finally, getting closer to 40, Hilda married Julian Lezard in 1929. 

I note that with Thomas Uchter Caulfield Knox, Viscount Northland, her first husband, she had two children, Thomas Daniel Knox, 6th Earl of Ranfurly who was born 29 May 1913 and died in 1988.  And Edward Paul Uchter Knox who was born 23 May 1914 and died 11 Dec 1935.  I note that her son had died before she embarked on her affair with John Henry.
According to author Baily, while Julian Lezard was away in 1939 possibly in British Intelligence, when World War II was declared in Europe, she became the mistress of the mysterious John Henry Montagu Manners - 9th Duke of Rutland, and he was mysterious enough to have a whole book written about him!

The book that was an inspiration

for this month's

 Mistress of the Month

Hilda Lezard

The book says very little actually about Hilda and John Henry's affair, though I will be sure to excerpt the telling passages.  Besides author Bailey's use of the term "mistress" for Hilda, she provides some evidence for there being financial favor.


John Henry was born in 1886.  According to various genealogical exposes he was descended from King Edward IV on his maternal line and over the centuries there were many marriages and connections with royal and aristocratic Britain. 

John Henry had a first love who had ultimately decided against him.  After that he had admitted to some that he didn't think he would ever fall in love again.   However, his mother, Violet, was busy looking for a healthy breeder for a daughter-in-law, and as time passed and her son seemed less desirable, despite all the wealth that would be his, to match-make, she even considered American heiresses as potential wives for him.

Then in 1916 John became engaged to Kathleen Tennant, a woman from a family of wealth and connections but no Title.  Her parents were against the marriage and couldn't imagine that John's parents would be pleased by the match.  John and Kathleen wrote "touching letters" and he even kept a journal of their courtship, so things looked promising.  He called her "Kakoo" and some think that she was the real reason why he never got to battle on the Western Front in WWI.  But that may have been generous of them.  In Bailey's book, we learn that after an earnest start of his marriage, John Henry was unhappy and unfaithful and also rude, maybe even verbally abusive, to his wife, and that he may have had many affairs. 

Overall, my dear readers, John Henry's personality as depicted, is, in my opinion, dull, stilted, and lacking.  I can't imagine anyone falling in love with him, but perhaps it took someone like Hilda to enliven his life. We can't always understand what a couple sees in each other.

Paying attention to Hilda, she was last seen, very shortly after Montagu-Manners died in his archive at Belvoir Castle called the Muniment Rooms, while working on a years long project of reading family letters and trying to obscure his mother's meddling in his life, trying to climb up the castle wall and into the rooms from the outside, something she'd done before to see him many times, with no success. 

So hang on to that image of a woman climbing up a castle wall to see her lover because we do not know if, soon after his death, she was trying to get in to grab incriminating evidence, a cash or gem inheritance, or what. 

It does seem that the unlucky in love Hilda stuck with her husband Julian Lezard, when all was said and done, because - if this is our Hilda Lezard - she is buried with him in a modest cemetery under a modest tombstone.  (Nothing like the amazing crypt that our previous Mistress of the Month is laid to rest in!)  Perhaps in Lezard she found the perfect husband, for - again if this is the right couple - they were married many years past her affair and he died in 1958.  Lezard was a worldly fellow, involved in British Intelligence in World War II.  Who knows what their deal was!

BILLIONGRAVES - HILDA LEZARD TOMBSTONE  in Saint Peter and Saint Paul Churchyard Great Missenden, England, United Kingdom.
She died January 2nd,1977. According to my notes, the book says she died in 1961...

THOSE CASTLE WALLS

Mistresses may have first come into favor when Kings were forced to marry and find their Queens among their relations - cousins. Some biologists theorize that people are not really that attracted to others who they share a close genetic relationship with. Over time the Royal Houses of Europe became closely related. A King may have mated with his Queen to keep the wealth and power, but found his true love in someone he chose whose genetics were very different... it was even believed that "Royal Bastards" - love children - turned out to have nicer personalities.... really!

ANNA LACHAPELLE CLARK'S GRAND BURIAL PLACE IN WOODLAWN CEMETERY NEW YORK

ANNA LACHAPELLE CLARK - FIND A GRAVE  There are more good pictures of Anna at this site so click on the link and check them out.

ORNATE HANGING LAMP

DECLARATON FOR MISTRESSES - Thanksgiving

"I appreciate all I have.  And I say Thank You!"

If you happen to be alone and lonely this coming Thanksgiving then perhaps it's time to pitch in at your local homeless shelter or other charity that is serving dinner to senior citizens or others who can't cook for themselves or who can't even afford the groceries.

If you happen to be spending Thanksgiving day with friends of family, manage to show your appreciation for the hostess, the cook, and everyone who has gathered there - even if some of them always manage to get on your nerves.

WHAT WAS W.A. CLARK REALLY LIKE? : BIDDING FOR DESERT LAND

 

pages 137, 139-142 
Chapter 9  LEARNING FROM LAS VEGAS

"The temperature was 112 degrees on May 15, 1905, when Senator William Clark came to establish the new town site for his railroad depot.  He had  bulldozed forty acres clear of desert scrub, laid out the main streets in a grid, and announced an auction to sell numbered lots on a map.  The bidders were speculators from Los Angeles and agents for eastern investors.  Some bidders brought their own tents.  Others stayed in a tent hotel named Hotel Las Vegas.  The auction platform was erected roughly where the Plaza hotel-casino stands today in the old downtown.

The investors were bidding on twelve hundred parcels.  Each lot was 25 feet wide and 140 feet deep....  These lines on paper represented a future town with streets, stores, saloons, housing, churches, schools, electricity, plumbing, and a septic system.  In the spirit of Gilded Age speculation and the town's gambling future, Senator Clark's auction drew the speculators into a f4renzy of bidding for numbered squares on a map at grossly inflated prices...

Senator Clark had a name for being a dishonest businessman.  His unsavory reputation derived from documented accounts that he had bribed Montana state legislators to appoint him senator; the profusion of legal suits brought by former business partners who accused him, with good evidence, of cheating them out of profits; and his marriage to a teenager forty years his junior who had been a ward in his home.  Senator Clark was from Butte, Montana, and had made his first fortune in copper smelters.

Mark Twain, who first came to Nevada in 1861, when his brother was appointed secretary to the governor of Nevada Territory, later wrote about Senator Clark and judged him to be considerably worse than the average Gilded Age robber baron: "He is as rotten a human being as can be found anywhere under the flag; he is a shame to the American nation, and no one has helped send him to the Senate who did not know that his proper place was the penitentiary."  Although Clark County, which includes most of southern Nevada, is named for the dodgy senator, there is no statue of this Las Vegas founding father anywhere to be seen..."

UNREAL CITY is C 2014 by Judith Nies and published by Nation Books (National Institute and Perseus Books Group
*****

Missy here!  I do wonder if Anna's relationship with W.A. was what made W.A. Clark's life really worthwhile and if in it he experienced love, acceptance, and escape from business.  I suspect so.  In this author's case the comment about "marrying a teenager" certainly obscures the possibilities.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE CLARK COLLECTION

It must be remembered that it was Anna LaChapelle Clark who, with her husband, became the decorator and the collector before Huguette!

WHAT DO YOU KEEP INSIDE THIS THING?

HOW W.A. MET ANNA : THE OFFICIAL VERSION?

EXCERPT FROM EMPTY MANSIONS by BILL DEDMAN and PAUL CLARK NEWELL JR.

(page 47) 

"W.A.'s eyes fell on Anna, who was fifteen or sixteen.  After she was well into her twenties she would become his second wife and the mother of two daughters, Andree and Huguette.

There are competing stories of how W. A met Anna.  The family version, the official version, has W. A. spotting her of the Fourth of July in a community pageant in which she played a chaste statue of Liberty.  Anna loved to sing and play music, but she was shy and reserved in public.  The teenager stood a shapely five feet four with cascading brown hair, a prominent round chin, and an inviting gap toothed smile.  W. A recognized her talents immediately.

The unofficial version, printed in Anti- Clark newspapers casts Anna as the forward one...  According to this story, Anna called on a banker in Butte, asking him to sponsor her acting career.  That man declined but suggested that she contact another banker who might receive her more generously, W.A. Clark.

The family also put forward another story about Anna, one describing her as the daughter of an honored physician who had died before the wealthy W.A. Clark became her guardian and she his ward, as though she were an orphan and in need of his legal and financial protection.  The facts were quite different, however. Anna's father wasn't quite a doctor, and he was very much alive.

Anna Eugenia LaChapelle was born in the Michigan copper mining town of Red Jacket, now known as Calument, on March 10, 1878.  Her parents were immigrants from Montreal, in French-speaking Quebec, who had arrived in the United States six years earlier as part of a great French Canadian wave of immigration.  The family later moved to Butte, settling in one of the rougher neighborhoods on the Butte hill, right below the smoke-belching smelters...  Anna was the oldest of three children... "

The LaChapelles rented out rooms to miners."

 

SO LOVELY

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - True

"I shall be true to myself"

What does it mean to be true to yourself?  I think it's about self knowledge and acceptance and being genuine. Let's take Anna LaChapelle Clark as an example. Of course she had tremendous financial resources, but most women in her financial position felt obligated, even aspired to, be very social.  Such women spend most of their time reinforcing their position in society by make calls on other women of their stature. Dressing the part and making these calls took up much of their days. It seems Anna was just not into that lifestyle so she didn't bother. 

There is a peace in not having to be "on" all the time, of not being an actress, or not always trying to sell yourself or something. Anna preferred a more private life and to associate with those she chose, even if they were not as wealthy as she and W.C. Clark. 

Anna also chose to be with a man over 40 years older than she and, though they offered little explanation or apology for it, in a controversial relationship.  She and W.C. chose to keep the relationship and not go out of their way to defend it or explain it other than making a public statement about it when he aspired to political office. It doesn't seem to have held his career back any.

Being true to yourself requires that you also let others be true to themselves and understand it when there are just some things someone else is not interested in or won't do.  You don't spend a lot of energy trying to change them.

C 2014 - 2015 Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot First Published December 13, 2014