FLORAL MANDALA

GIFTS FOR MISTRESSES - TRADITIONAL and MODERN!

Up bright and early this morning and I'm NOT going to go shopping this Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year!  If you are shopping for the person you Keep, then keep in mind some of these TRADITIONAL GIFTS and their updates!

MANSION, CHATEAU, HOUSE, CONDO, apartment rent... or pay a landscape designer to plan a new garden...

CARRIAGE and HORSES, or HORSES, and CARS, MOTORCYCLES, MOPEDS ... insurance.

DIAMONDS, SAPPHIRES, RUBYS, EMERALDS... PLATINUM, GOLD, SILVER... Birthstone Jewelry, charm bracelets, watches (even though the time is on her cell phone.)

Good Costume Jewelry, Custom Made Jewelry, Cigarette Lighters (so what if he quit smoking? He can light candles!), Things ENGRAVED WITH PERSONAL MESSAGES (but not initials)!

PERFUME

FLOWERS

SUBSCRIPTIONS - MEMBERSHIPS TO MUSEUMS
Tickets to Plays and the Opera - for her and her friends.

BOOKS, MAGAZINES ... classes at the college. Laptop computers, e-readers, and cell phones.

PORTRAITS.  A local painter or photographer.

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES : Giving Thanks

"I am thankful for all the things I do have!" 

If you're having trouble remembering all the ways you've been blessed, write a list!

TELLING A STORY

EYEWITNESS TO HISTORY : MATA HARI'S EXECUTION

EYEWITNESS TO HISTORY SITE : MATA HARI's EXECUTION link to full story!

EXCERPT: ..."The first intimation she received that her plea had been denied was when she was led at daybreak from her cell in the Saint-Lazare prison to a waiting automobile and then rushed to the barracks where the firing squad awaited her.

Never once had the iron will of the beautiful woman failed her. Father Arbaux, accompanied by two sisters of charity, Captain Bouchardon, and Maitre Clunet, her lawyer, entered her cell, where she was still sleeping - a calm, untroubled sleep, it was remarked by the turnkeys and trusties.  The sisters gently shook her. She arose and was told that her hour had come.  'May I write two letters?' was all she asked.  Consent was given immediately by Captain Bouchardon, and pen, ink, paper, and envelopes were given to her.  She seated herself at the edge of the bed and wrote the letters with feverish haste. She handed them over to the custody of her lawyer.  Then she drew on her stockings, black, silken, filmy things, grotesque in the circumstances. She placed her high-heeled slippers on her feet and tied the silken ribbons over her insteps.  She arose and took the long black velvet cloak, edged around the bottom with fur and with a huge square fur collar hanging down the back, from a hook over the head of her bed. She placed this cloak over the heavy silk kimono which she had been wearing over her nightdress.  Her wealth of black hair was still coiled about her head in braids. She put on a large, flapping black felt hat with a black silk ribbon and bow. Slowly and indifferently, it seemed, she pulled on a pair of black kid gloves. Then she said calmly:  'I am ready.' .."

TOP TEN CITIES FOR MISTRESSES ? I DIGRESS!

HUFFINGTON POST - 2013 TOP TEN CITIES FOR MISTRESSES link to article here.

Based on the wording of this article, the ASHLEY MADISON dating site, which helps people who want to have affairs hook up, provided the stats.  It also says this about women who want to have affairs with married men, not men who want to have affairs with married women. (Go to the article and read it yourself!)

OK, to me the TOP TEN CITIES should be based on, not affairs, and not women looking for men, but WOMEN WHO ARE ACTUALLY KEPT by MEN,  and that is one difficult stat to come up with because who is going to cooperate with a survey?  That someone has signed up with a dating sight and is flirting with having experiences isn't the same thing.  I also believe that it's MEN, or whomever has more money, who choose the person they want to keep.  (Keeping in mind that we know that all arrangements are not about adultery, are not heterosexual, etc.)

THE TOP CITIES (and my commentary!)

1) Phoenix, Arizona (must be those rich retirees!)

2) Washington, DC (no surprise - the Power!)

3) Dallas, Texas (Texas is its own country.  Where there is money the usual Rules don't apply!)

4) Las Vegas, Nevada  (High Rollers, show business aristocrats and showgirls !)

5) Los Angeles (Hollywood!)

6) Houston (See Dallas!)

7) Honolulu, Hawaii (See Hawaii isn't just for the newly wed or nearly dead!)

8) Charlotte North Carolina (Well, I'll be damned!)

9) Fort Lauderdale (Cruises!)

10) Denver (Who'd have thunk it?)

SHE LIED THAT SHE'S EXPERIENCED AS A MISTRESS : SHOULD SHE TELL HIM THE TRUTH NOW?

QUESTION FOR MISSY

I'm near 60 years old.  "Harry" is near 70.  I met Harry years ago.  He was the CEO of a competing company.  I lost my job a few years ago and I've never recovered my career.   I've experienced age discrimination.  Harry has never been married.  I'm long ago divorced. 

We met up again - in an elevator! 

He asked me to meet him for drinks.  We talked for hours, mostly about where the business was headed.  We went to dinner.  We started dating.  No sex.  We're having a good time and my feelings for him have grown.

I think Harry's terrific.  He's a good guy.  He's made a fortune and he's given away a lot to charity, especially kid's charities. He plays golf and is esteemed by his circle, mostly men.  Some are widowed, some divorced, some have wives. 

Harry is cheap when it comes to dating.  Don't laugh Missy.  He picks where we go. The drinks seemed watered down.  That first dinner we went to a spaghetti restaurant. We go to fast food places.  He looks for things to do for free, like recently this Smithsonian Sponsored Free Museum Day.  We take walks in nature.

I want a man to help me financially.  So one night while we were eating our burgers I lied and told Harry that I'd been a mistress before.  It's not true!  I did it so he'd think about it, me being his mistress.  I thought to myself this man has never married and maybe he never will.  I don't need to be married but I want love and I need help, at least until my retirement starts. 

Harry said "Really, I had no idea," and kept eating.

What do you think?  Should I backtrack and tell him the truth?

Babe from Kansas City


MISSY ANSWERS

Babe, you make me laugh! 

I've been thinking on this and I wonder if Harry is as rich as you think he is or where this cheapness is coming from.  Could be that he's testing you to see if you will like him and enjoy his company even if he's not spending a lot on you?  I've heard of some rich people doing that.  I've also heard of them not spending a lot because they know you don't have it to reciprocate and don't want to embarrass you. 

If he's doing these cheap dates to test you, then you failed. 

Sorry Babe, but you shouldn't have lied, especially not to provoke a reaction from him or to put the idea of him supporting you on the table.  Maybe I'm being too harsh.  So you lied about being an experienced mistress BUT YOU DID NOT LIE ABOUT YOUR INTENTION, which is to be supported, at least for a while.

I have this feeling, I could be wrong, that Harry thinks of you as a friend. He may also be communicating that to you by picking up the tab on your friendly encounters, just acknowledging that it's easy for him.  Wouldn't you feel bad if you found out that when he's DATING he spends plenty?

So many people are now working at jobs that are beneath them.  People are not working in their areas of education or expertise.  There is nothing to be ashamed of about an honest days work, but I understand you are not able to live as you had, and not only that but your self esteem has taken a plunge because you're not fulfilled at work. 

Babe, I think what I would do is test this relationship yourself by becoming a bit less available.  Let him miss you.  When he suggests you go and do something, go less often.  Really, friend or lover, no one likes to be on call or taken for granted. See how intent he is on having your company. Be busy at work. 

I also think it's OK to ask him if he knows of anyone who is hiring or if he could refer you to any of his business associates for work because you want and need to be more fulfilled and make more money.  I would not suggest to him that you be his mistress again. I would drop that subject.  Is there a good time to tell him you lied?  Probably not.

Missy

PS: I you have a Question for Missy, please leave it as a Comment.  Missy considers all Comments before publication and changes all names used (even if you did already!).

GARBO AS MATA HARI for the 1932 MOVIE "TEMPTRESS OF THE SECRET SERVICE"

HAS YOUR COSMETIC SURGEON DECAMPED TO DUBAI? HOLLYWOOD REPORTER ARTICLE BY ELIZABETH SNEAD

HOLLYWOOD REPORTER : Elizabeth Snead on WHY HOLLYWOOD PLASTIC SURGEONS HAVE DECAMPED TO DUBAI

"The whole royal family comes to see me in my Beverly Hills office -- half my patients are from the Middle East, Kuwait and Qatar -- so it was very natural for me to go there," says Sands. "It took a while to get our licenses and insurance. You don't want to mess around over there if you want to come back with both your hands," he jokes. "For four days, I'm prepping patients' teeth and taking impressions. Then I fly home, have the veneers made in Beverly Hills and fly back and finish them. That's what they're paying for -- the best."

ARE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH?

MATA HARI - TANTALIZING COURTESAN AND SPY - EXECUTED 1917 : MISTRESS OF THE MONTH OCTOBER 2013

MATA HARI 

August 7, 1876 to October 15th 1917 - Executed by firing squad for spying.

She started life in the Netherlands in a family rich enough to send her to exclusive schools as Margaretha Geertruida Zelle.  Then the family went bankrupt and broke up. 

At 18 she answered a newspaper ad placed by a man twenty years older than her and looking for a wife, Dutch Colonial Army Captain Rudolf MacLeod.  She married him and went to live in the Dutch West Indies and reentered the upper class. The couple moved to Java and she had a son and daughter. It wasn't a happy marriage.  MacLeod drank, was abusive, and he kept a concubine, which was common and legal in the Dutch West Indies at the time.

She left him and she came back.

She learned about the local arts and culture and in 1897, when she wrote to her family back in the Netherlands, she said she had a new name, an artist name, Mata Hari.  The name translates from the Sanskrit language as "eye of the sun." 

A couple years later both of her children became seriously ill.  Rumors were that they had contracted syphilis or been poisoned by one of Captain MacLeod's enemies!  Her son died and her daughter survived, though this daughter later died at only 21 years old. Finally Margaretha left Rudolf for good. Custody battles and divorce followed in 1906. 

But, before she officially divorced, Mata Hari went to Paris and began to dance exotically.  Like Isadora Duncan and other dancers in the early 20th century, she looked away from ballet and European formal or folk dance to dance inspired by other cultures.  Her inspiration was the sacred dance of the Hindus. 

Mata Hari created a new past for herself by promoting herself as having been born Hindu - Javanese and said she'd been studying sacred dance from an early age.  While there is a long tradition of sacred dancers in Hindu temples, they are always dressed modestly.  Not Mata Hari.

She was photographed many times appearing nude or scantily dressed and her husband used these against her in his custody battle to keep their daughter.  She was considered to be flirtatious, promiscuous, and to be an exhibitionist.  By today's standards her act might seem tame because her movements were not obscene.  She was said to be graceful as a lioness.  She wore skin colored body stockings and jeweled bras, which never came off, and elaborate headpieces.  It was that she slowly undressed until she wore only these things that made her presentation questionable.

On March 13, 1905 she debut her act in Paris at a museum of Asian art that exists to this day and is well respected, The Guimet Museum (Musée National des Arts Asiatiques-Guimet or Musée Guimet), which has one of the largest Asian collections outside of Asia.  Thus her dance was seen as high class and artistic, removed from the more raw sensuality of French dance hall girls.  The museum had been founded by a millionaire, Emile Etienne Guimet, an industrialist.  The museum which would later be attacked for having pillaged treasure from Asia to fill its exhibits.  Mati Hari became his long time mistress.

Imitators sprung up, and she began to gain weight. Mata Hari had started late for a dancer and near age 40, she danced for the last time in public.  She became more famous for being a courtesan, seductress, and  a bohemian, free-spirited and artistic.   Now she had multiple liaisons with powerful men and traveled Europe...

I'll leave you with this much and get to the SPYING in a near future post!