Monday, November 2, 2015

NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON - MISTRESS OF O.J. - WIFE OF O.J. and MOST FAMOUS UNSOLVED MURDER VICTIM


NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON - MISTRESS OF THE MONTH

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This month I'm doing something that I've never done in the years since I began researching and writing MISTRESS MANIFESTO BLOGSPOT.  The O.J. Simpson connection moves us from last month's topic PATRICIA SIKORA, the mistress of O.J. Simpson trial lawyer, JOHNNIE COCHRAN, with this month's, NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON, the victim of a yet unsolved murder, and the ex-wife of famous football athlete, Orenthal James Simpson. 

O.J. Simpson is the only person who has ever been on trial for the June 12,1994 murders of Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman. The trial held international interest for about a year, was televised live, and left many wondering about our criminal justice system. Even Princess Diana watched the show.  In 1995 he was acquitted and freed.  The part of the trial that most people remember is when he tried on a leather glove said to be that of the murderer, and lawyer Johnnie Cochran chanted "If it does not fit, you must acquit." Simpson is currently in prison for charges not related to that murder and makes the cover of the National Enquirer often for having a rough time in prison. 

NICOLE BROWN was his mistress, then his second wife.  They met in 1977 and O. J. divorced his first wife Marguerite L. Whitley, the mother of his first three children, in March 1979.  But O.J., who'd been seeing Nicole for a couple years at that point, didn't marry her.  He waited until February 2, 1985, having retired from football and, by various reports, was still playing the field.  So from Nicole's perspective, she had been O.J.'s for about eight years at that point, and a possible motivation for marrying her may have been her pregnancy with her first child.  (That or she got pregnant honeymooning.)

During the trial and in my reading, there is little to no focus on the facts that their relationship began in adultery or went on for years without marriage. 

I think that is because O.J. did divorce, perhaps wanting a divorce before he met Nicole, and he did marry her.  Seems to me that when a mistress does marry her man and is accepted as his legal wife, she is forgiven for that mistress time.


When O.J. Simpson met the pretty, young blonde waitress, NICOLE BROWN, born in 1959 and 12 years younger than he, she was 20, some say 19.  (One account I read on the net had her age 17.) She worked at the Daisy restaurant where she waited on his table.

During these years before their marriage,  Nicole qualified as a "mistress" for the traditional reasons.  She got involved with an older, rich by comparison, married man who already had children. He was a man who could make her life so much more interesting and comfortable than her earnings as a waitress ever would and he brought her into his world.   Many of his friends were in the know about this and his other relationships, if only due to the bragging rights.  You could say he "molded" her.

He was the one in control of the relationship and her, a problem for their marriage when she grew tired of doing things his way so much and you could say had done some growing up and realized she wasn't the perfect fit for that mold.  Though Nicole eventually did earn some money when O.J. paid her to decorate and encouraged their friends to do so, she had come to live her life in fortunate financial circumstances and had become accustom to that.  She didn't really need to work or concern herself with getting an education.  According to Kato Kaelin and Marc Eliot, whose book "The Whole Truth," I reviewed last month, and in agreement with what her friend Faye Resnick said, Nicole did have some ideas about buying a franchise coffee house or going into a small business to earn income and give her something more to do, but well...

Nicole and many of her girlfriends were ladies who did lunch.  Or ladies who went out dancing in the evening. Or ladies who worried most about their looks and body,  their physical attraction and desirability, who sometimes preserved it with cosmetic surgery, such as the breast implants that both Nicole and Kris Kardashian got.  Their motivation was to keep busy and keep fit, to be there for a man, not to set the world on fire.  (Kris Kardashian Jenner is exceptional now, but she became a business woman after years of being primarily a wife and mother.)  Nicole had children but when the children were in school she was not stressed by the need to support herself.  Kato thought she had too much time on her hands.

In all I've read about Nicole, including in the book by Paula Barbieri that I reviewed last month, mixed with my own sense of her, I  think that Nicole was a confused person, a torn person, and one who was just as addicted to the volatile and on and off again relationship she had with O.J. as he was to her. This is not to say that she ever "deserved" to be abused physically or verbally, or to be killed by anyone, but what so many of us have wondered is, "WHY DIDN'T SHE LEAVE?"

Why did Nicole Brown Simpson take pictures of her battered face and put them in a bank box and then keep so silent about the abuse to her family and friends? Was it an old fashioned sense that in doing so she was keeping her family together with a father in the house for their children? Was it the years she had devoted to O.J. already? Was it the lifestyle that included many high-profile friends and vacation travel?

I suspect that Nicole, in her mistress time, wanted to achieve the goal of being a wife, that she was traditional in her values and going against herself as she was in waiting. I'm not judging her or anyone for not having career ambitions, it's just that women who don't work at something for pay are so rare these days.

In Barbara Cochran's book about her marriage and life as the wife of Simpson trial lawyer Johnnie Cochran,  "Life after Johnnie Cochran: Why I Left the Sweetest-Talking, Most Successful Black Lawyer in LA", also reviewed last month, there was a lot about her husband Johnny's desire and need to present himself a certain way to the conservative black community.  But Barbara and Johnnie met at college and she had a college education and a career as a teacher before becoming a mother.  Nicole spent her twenties as a mistress and didn't get any education.  That made it more difficult to leave an addictive off and on again relationship.

This too qualifies her as a traditional mistress; Someone who quits working or is taken out of the job market (or school) to be free to be there for her man, free to travel as a companion, and unmarried to that man.  And when he travels for business or pleasure without her, she waits for his return. 

If you get to this page first, I encourage you to read last month's posts, which will help you see a fuller picture and the links between the people whose books I've reviewed.

Missy


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