Wednesday, October 28, 2015

SENIOR LOVE : IS THERE SOME WAY SHE CAN MAKE HIM MARRY HER? QUESTION FOR MISSY

QUESTION FOR MISSY

Hi Missy, 

I started seeing Lloyd several months after his wife of many years died.  Their children are grown and have families of their own.  They seem to think that I'm OK as a "companion" to Lloyd because he is older and I'm older, a couple years older than their mom was.  That's their concept.  That older people are just "companions," to go places together on senior citizen trips.  There are no objections to me that I know of.  They don't want dad to be lonely.

Now a couple years have gone by and we're comfortable.  We're sexual which his kids don't know but mine do because we get together at my house and I tell them not to come over.  What I'm not feeling comfortable with is that this relationship is not going towards marriage and I want to be married.  Lloyd knows this.  He says, "Some day it will probably happen."  How do I get Lloyd to move forward and make a real commitment like a wedding date?  He's a grieving widow.

Joan
Woodland Hills


ANSWER FROM MISSY

Dear Senior Citizen Joan,

I think all of us women know that there are very many more of us available as the years go by then there are men to go around.  I had a senior neighbor, a man who was half blind with thick glasses, a sloppy eater, and told the same bad jokes repeatedly, and he still had five women after him.

Senior women seem to be in abundance and most seem to have accepted that they will continue on as single or divorced or widowed.  Therefore, the competition is actually not as fierce as some think because so many women are themselves simply not interested in another marriage or have given up. I hate to say it, some feel grateful that they have a man who is a "companion." 

But Joan, to yourself you must be true. 

You use the term "comfortable," and I think that's just it.  Lloyd is comfortable just as things are and his comment gives me the impression part of his comfort is that he doesn't feel you are too pushy.  You could psyche this out that if you are "too pushy" you will loose him. but standing up for yourself and your beliefs is not pushy at all but what you have to do to be authentic. 

Then again this man had a long marriage with children, his life was settled, he probably has some wonderful characteristics, but he is a widow and was grieving his loss when you started dating him so OK, a couple years is enough time put in for you as a loving and patient woman who wants to be a married woman or for Lloyd to decide he has to make it as a single man.

What I'm going to suggest, but you must be firm in your desire to marry or leave him before you try this, is Don't Push Lloyd. 

When I got my dog,  I soon realized she was all muscle though a small creature. I was shocked that she could pull me down the street in her attempt to chase squirrels (which remains her passion) when she weighed ten times less than me.  One time she even broke her leash going after them.  There she was galloping in a field while I stood there in awe of both her speed and glee and how fast she got away from me.  Luckily she stopped at a tree where I caught her.  Then I read in one of the many dog training books that if a dog races away from you, hopefully not into deadly traffic, you shouldn't chase after them if they don't heed your call, but turn around and walk away.  Not that people are dogs, but you know, I tried it, and sure enough, it was like she had eyes in the back of her head.  When she knew I had given up and was heading home without her, she quickly turned around and followed me back.  Which means that she thought of my chasing her as part of her game.

So, Joan, it is time for you to tell Lloyd.  "I love you but I feel the need to be married."  (Do not officially break up with him or even say anything like "We should both see other people.")  Keep it that simple.  Tell him about when you also announce that you are going on a trip and don't know when you'll be back.  (He'll know you need time to think but also that you just need to get away ON YOUR OWN and have a good time.)

Joan, go on a trip for at least a month or more. Don't let him drive you to the airport or see him locally once you've said these two things and start packing.  No long good byes or promises to see each other when you return.  Just don't go on a cruise where everyone knows there are way more women than men.  Go to Europe to see the sights or to see your sister in Florida who has a boat or anywhere you can afford to go where there will be an adventure and where you'll be meeting people and go without giving him any way to contact you since after all you "don't know where" you will be (or with whom).  Don't even make any promises that you will call from the road or send any "thinking of you" postcards.  Don't e-mail or text from your other location. In fact, it would nice if you could leave your cell at home.  Tell your children not to inform him of your whereabouts if he calls them to find out where you are or when you'll be back.  All they do is "pass on the message when we hear from her." Make sure that no one is going to use your absence to "level with" or otherwise inform Lloyd of what you're up to. Be mysterious and vague.  Be open to a good time.

Lloyd will realize that you have created your own diversion and that you are rethinking the relationship.  Lloyd needs to think about what life will be like without you, when he can't call you at night to touch base, when he can't be sure he will have company to go along with him here there and everywhere.  Lloyd needs to know that you can find other companions elsewhere.  Without you saying it.  So just go.  Let him think his thoughts. If he finds another himself, let him.

Hopefully by the time you return, if you still want to marry Lloyd, he will have thought about it and have a proposal for you.  Whatever he says, don't consider it such if he does not want to set a date so that you can make a plan and have your Senior Dream Wedding.  If he doesn't soon after you return, well, you have already given both of you some distance.  But if you get back and he wants to continue as you had been before and loneliness or love consumes you, just know that the moment you go back to going out with Lloyd as you have been, the cause for marriage will have been lost.  And yes, very likely some other woman will soon be after Lloyd, making his widowhood easier on him.

I wish you the best, Joan.

Missy

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

PAULA BARBIERI - O.J. SIMPSON'S OTHER WOMAN? OR ONE OF MANY?

THE OTHER WOMAN
My Years with O.J. Simpson
A Story of Love, Trust, and Betrayal
by Paula Barbieri
 
If you're interested in the O.J. Simpson Trial, the relationship he had with his ex-wife Nicole Brown, and his long relationship with Paula,  which went on throughout the infamous trial for the murder of Nicole, you might want to read this one. 
 
It's interesting, intimate, and honest,  and it does recall a vibrant relationship - until it wasn't - but I've got an issue with it.  The title is all wrong.  There is no reason to think of Paula as THE OTHER WOMAN, she doesn't make any case for that really, and Paula WAS NEVER O.J. SIMPSON's Mistress.  I was actually hoping that by reading this book, because of the title, that I would find out she was, but she doesn't fit any of the criteria I find important in defining Mistress.

What first made me think she had been O.J's mistress was a sentence in the book titled
KATO KAELIN - THE WHOLE TRUTH - The Real Story by Mark Eliot,  in which author Elliot writes on page 60 that OJ was "busy rotating a steady cast of young, willing, sometimes married, mostly single women, including one aspiring actress named Paula Barbieri, who held out serious hope that one day she might become the third Mrs. Simpson."  And then, on page 70, he states that according to Kato Kaelin, O.J. had steady liaisons with one or two Raiderettes (Los Angles Raider cheerleaders), "some who came by regularly," after all he wasn't married, and that he had bought Paula a "nifty little high-rise apartment on fancy Wilshire Boulevard."

Except that O.J. did not. Paula's career as a model kept her traveling and independent and self supporting.  In Paula's book she says she herself, from her earnings as a model, bought herself a house in Florida, as well as that condo.  She was making six figures as her career peaked.  Sadly, because, though she had decided to end their relationship and had left him a message on his answering machine stating so, a message he may have gotten the same evening Nicole was murdered, she also decided to stick with him for the duration of his trial for murder.  She was in Vegas modeling in a music video when the murders occurred. 
 
When Paula started with O.J., she was divorced, she'd had long term affairs that had not worked out, and he was on his way to divorce.  O.J.'s divorce was finalized while he and Paula were together.  The only hitch that temporarily qualified her for Other Woman Status?.  Nicole and O.J., who were clearly, to me, addicted to each other, probably because of the chaos and on and off again nature of their volatile relationship, gave it another try after their official divorce.  And Paula may have been the only one who wasn't sleeping around too!
 
Sadly, for all her loyalty and sacrifice, according to the Elliot book, O.J. admitted that he did not love her and would never marry her.

The real story here is how his incarceration and trial sucked her back in to being his girlfriend,  possible something he and his lawyers wanted to give him the image that he had so moved on from Nicole.  He had in Paula, someone he could talk to from prison each morning and night, and someone who would support him.  But all that loyalty destroyed her  health (temporarily) and career (permanently).  She was who lost everything, including her house in Florida and condo in Los Angeles too.  Bookers were afraid, they said, that when someone saw her picture, they wouldn't be thinking about the clothes she was modeling.  I wasn't familiar with her great success until I read this book, thinking unfairly that she was, like Kato Kaelin, a poor person.
 
Paula turned to Christianity to fulfill her, when, once O.J, was released and able to be a boyfriend again, she realized it really had been all over long ago.
 
***
PS:  LAST MONTH NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON was our Mistress of the Month.  Scroll through this blog to find the posts about her!
To read about a Mantress who there's a Hollywood murder-mystery surrounding, check out my posts about Superman!

C 2015 Missy Rapport/ Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

JOHNNIE COCHRAN INSISTS HIS MISTRESS PATRICIA HAVE AN ABORTION AND FINAGLES THE FINANCES

FROM THE BOOK

LIFE AFTER JOHNNIE COCHRAN
Why I left the sweetest-talking, most successful black lawyer in L.A.
by  Barbara Cochran Berry with Joanne Parrent

(Johnnie's lies extend to telling both his wife Barbara and mistress Patricia tall tales, accusing them to each other of things like physically abusing him, racism, and refusing to give a divorce.)

EXCERPT from PAGES 114 and 115

"When John and Patty went out together, they usually went to the movies or plays, but not to social activities. ...  He told Patty he was "shy" and didn't care for large social events.  All the banquets and parties he had to go to were just meaningless to him, he said, and he went only because I insisted or because I had already committed us to go without consulting him...  Of course, she had no way of knowing that in actuality it was always John who insisted that we go to the "meaningless" gatherings.  And while John didn't include this one additional factor in what he told Patty, most of the events were the kind of occasions where a black wife at his side was quite useful.  Black middle-class people can be fully as conservative as their white counterparts, and walking into one of those staid social functions and introducing his blonde, blue-eyed, mistress to all of the wives in attendance wouldn't have fostered the kind of impression of respectability John felt he needed to foster, and might even cost him business.  And he certainly couldn't have been able to cultivate the image of a bona fide defender of racial justice if word got around that he had abandoned his black wife for a white woman as soon as he found some success.,

As my children were learning about abortion from the TV soaps,  Patty was learning about it more painfully, from her relationship with John. She first discovered she was pregnant in the summer of 1968.  John insisted that she get an abortion because the timing wasn't right for them to have a child, since his divorce wasn't final yet.  According to John, I was still stalling and fighting the divorce, preventing him from obtaining the freedom he needed to marry Patty.  This was before Roe v Wade decision and abortions weren't easy to get, so John arranged for Patty to go to Japan for the procedure.  Of course, he was too busy to go wit her, but he sent along a doctor to look out for Patty....

The next day, as Patty lay on the table waiting for her abortion, John called and told her that she wouldn't ever have to do this again.  They would be married soon. .... John decided that it would be better for them if she sold her house in Eagle Rock and moved to L.A., closer to him.  He found an apartment for Patty only a couple blocks from his office.  He also decided that they should put the money Patty received from the sale of her house into a joint savings account.  He told her he would match the funds in the savings account; it would be their little nest egg when they got married.  Patty told me that he never matched the money in the account.  Instead, he withdrew most of the money and then eventually gave the drained account's passbook to their son, Jonathan.

(John would go from work to the house, spend time with Patty and her daughter by her husband, April, then go home to the house he shared while married with Barbara.  April has fond memories of him as a father figure.)

Page 117
In 1969, Patty found out I was pregnant.  She was at John's office one day, and one of his law partners had an 8 X 10 photo of me at the lavish baby shower for Tiffany.  I looked very pregnant.  The attorney didn't realize that Patty didn't know I was expecting a baby.  ... It must have been a particularly painful moment for Patty, coming so soon after she had been forced to go to Tokyo for an abortion, and she immediately confronted John about it.  Naturally, he came up with an answer, one truly worthy of John.  He told her that he hadn't mentioned that I was pregnant because it wasn't his baby.  He hadn't slept with me.  But I had been sleeping around, and the man who got me pregnant wouldn't marry me.  What was a good man to do?..... He swore on a stack of Bibles that this child was not his.

(John claimed he wasn't even at the hospital for the birth of his second daughter and the child didn't look like him.)

PAGES 129-130

"On a rare day in 1979, John came home early.  I could see he was agitated about something.  He waited impatiently until the children went to bed...  "I have a son.  His mother is Patty." ... I felt angry, then disgusted, then hurt and humiliated. ...  I decided then that I wasn't going to leave him right now, over this...

PAGE 136
"The year after Jonathan's birth, Patty moved to a house in North Hollywood, only a short hop on the freeway from our house on Hobart.  Patty gave John $10,000 of her money to put a down payment on the house, which he them purchased in both of their names.  Soon after Patty moved into the house, John applied for a loan for about $20,000 from the bank that held the mortgage on the house.  This increased the mortgage payment.  But Patty never knew how he used the money - nothing was ever done to improve the house.

John was still telling Patty that I was fighting his divorce.  By now, this fictional divorce battle, if real, might have qualified as the longest in legal history.  Even though he couldn't yet marry Patty, John didn't like the idea of his son having a different last name from his son's mother, so he did the paperwork for Patty to change her name officially to Patricia Cochran, and got his law partner to make the requested court appearance.  I never learned if his office billed her.

(Read the whole book to find out if Johnnie Cochran had even more women he was juggling while with Barbara and Patricia!  and what Barbara thought of the O.J. Simpson trial and outcome!)

****

A NOTE:  I RECENTLY LEARNED THAT THIS POST WAS ATTACHED TO A SITE ABOUT ABORTION.  I want to go on record here in that I have been, since I was 16 and heard boys joking about using rubbers that they stuck pin holes in to get girls pregnant, been FOR CHOICE, for legal and safe and inexpensive abortion for everyone (make that every woman but we all know that when a woman physically has an abortion, a man is also responsible, with the few exceptions that modern scientific methods of conception allow for) who does not choose to bear, give birth, and afford at that time of decision.  So I am not at all putting Patricia down for having an abortion when her lover does not want a child. Nor am I inferring that mistresses have more abortions than women in other situations that cause conception, such as marriage or rape. However, in the book these episodes are used by the author, to reveal just how in control of Patricia Johnny was and how manipulative.

Friday, October 16, 2015

LAMAR ODOM : ADVICE FROM MISSY : WHEN THE MAN YOU LOVE IS A DRUG ADDICT or WHORES AROUND

When I began this month, focusing on Patricia Sikora, I mentioned the Kardashians as the famous for being famous sisters.  I've never watched any reality TV.  But it's difficult, if you're at all interested in popular culture, to not have come across the name and the fame. 

I wonder "How does one become famous for being famous?"  MOMAGER Kris Kardashian Jenner is the person responsible for bringing fame and fortune to her children from two marriages.  Khloe is one of them.  A few years back, after a reportedly whirl wind romance of about 30 days, she married a star basketball athlete named Lamar Odom and the wedding was televised on the show.  Now an ex player with a fortune of at least $30 million dollars, his career has been effected by his use of illegal drugs and he is on the slide down. Their marriage has been reportedly fraught with his cheating and his drug addiction and so about four years into it, she filed for divorce.  The divorce papers were signed by both Lamar and Khloe but the judge hasn't signed them and so when tragedy struck a few days ago, they were still legally married. *** This means that Khloe gets to make medical decisions, such as possibly taking him off life support, and I imagine that financially it could all be ... very interesting.  If he dies, does she get all his money?  If he lives does she dare go through with the divorce?

MY ADVICE:  SHE SHOULD.  Get out of there honey!

As I write this Lamar Odom is in a hospital in Nevada where a possible drug overdose has put him into a coma. I've read about two dozen articles around this situation and the Kardashians are under fire.   Some of them are even being blamed for triggering his latest bender.  WHAT HUMILIATION HE HAS BROUGHT TO HIS WIFE AND THE FAMILY.

He has reportedly spent $75,000 at a legal brothel in Nevada, taking herbal Viagra plus shooting up, entertaining two prostitutes over about four days.  That's what I call whoring around.

I think a woman is better off sharing one man with another woman than with a man who whores around.

The Kardashians have also trooped to Nevada to see him, pray for him, or to speak to him with hopes that he can hear them while in a coma. And they reportedly have sent specialists to treat him.

The news articles are piggy backing on each other and depending on the source and what you can believe, he is or isn't going to die, live disabled and brain damaged, or make a full recovery.  Khloe has not left his side and is supposed to be sleeping next to him on the floor in a sleeping bag.  I don't know anything about this woman really, but as a woman I can have empathy for her.  Most likely she has been on her way out of the marriage and maybe even dating others, but now she is pulled back into the relationship out of love or guilt or responsibility.

I also don't know much about Lamar but I don't have to. That he's a druggie is enough. IF YOU'RE READING THIS and you're a drug addict yourself or involved with one, then I have to give you some advice.  Stop using your drugs.  Get help.  Get out of that relationship!

Drug addicts bring way too much stress and drama to a relationship.  When you're involved with one you're on a roller coaster ride of highs and lows as they go in and out of drug addiction remission - rehabs - and all the rest.  While high or zonked out or otherwise not themselves they often loose their sense of right and wrong.  They expect to be understood, to blame their disease, but where does that leave you?  They are notorious liars and manipulators.  How do I know this?  I have been told so many times over by addicts in recovery and the people who love them, people in Twelve Step programs, people who somehow got over their addictions without help, people in therapy to process the pain of the involvement.  One man never told his wife he had salary increase of $20,000 a year during their marriage because that was his cocaine budget and she never suspected, while meanwhile she was driving a broken down car.

Luckily I've never been an addict or experimented with any illegal substance other than grass, and that was a few times and many years ago.  I'm for medical marijuana.  But not being in a relationship with an addict is about trying to be smart.  Since addicts are manipulative you can sometimes be in a relationship with one for a long time before realizing this is the case, the problem, why the person is often ducking out, or not showing up when they say they will, or going through their money, or your money, or a nowhere parent, or failing school, or loosing jobs...

So I hope Khloe will have the strength to get through this difficult time and then... MOVE ON!

Missy

*** UPDATE: I have learned that Khloe and Lamar have withdrawn their divorce papers, that she has broken with the man she was dating, and she intends to see him through rehab.
I STILL THINK KHLOE NEEDS TO CUT THIS MAN OUT OF HER LIFE and get herself a better one!

C 2015  Missy Rapport   Mistress Manifesto BlogSpot  All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

DECLARATION FOR MISTRESSES - Hope and Fear

"I realize my hopes but also my fears and I ask myself, how are these related?"

I noticed that when I talk hope I also talk fear.  This and that I'm worried about, I'll tell a friend, and then I'll say, "I hope that..."  So I think the two emotions are related to each other.

Some people think that we should banish any "negative" emotion or thought or talk, as if acknowledging such things will certainly lead to the manifestation.  I do not agree.  That notion, to me is pure superstition.

In life bad things sometimes happen to good people.  There is sometimes no sense to be made of things.  The scientist are still trying to turn love, for which there is often no explanation, into science.  I've been warned, "Be careful what you wish for," and felt that person cursing me for knowing what I like, what I want to do, who I love.  There have been things that I worried about that never happened and things I never considered could or would happen to someone like me that did.

The fact is most of us are NOT so powerful that our lives are about manifesting our wills, but we are influenced from the outside too.  By the world, by others.


I think it's balanced to be realistic and to take, if not all things, your own feelings and thoughts about yourself, your life, into consideration.  So fear helps us define what it is we want.  We should acknowledge it.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

KATO KAELIN -THE WHOLE TRUTH - HE MOVED TO LOS ANGELES TO BE AN ACTOR

 
KATO KAELIN - THE WHOLE TRUTH
The real Story by Mark Eliot - From the Actual Tapes
Harper was the publisher
 
Kato Kaelin gave Mark Elliot a lot of interviews, but in the end Mark wrote this book on his own.   My read of this book? ; I came to understand Kato's confusion, fears, and hesitations about the famous murder that he got caught up in, and whether or not what little he had to say was important or not.  I believe he was so emotionally frazzled and afraid for his life at the time that he had a difficult time taking the stand. Today he says he believes O.J. did kill Nicole.
 
Today Kato is called an American radio and television personality who gained fame as a witness at the murder trial of O. J. Simpson, but he was called to testify because he was a house guest on O.J. Simpson's property when the murders occurred.  He heard what he thought were mysterious knocks on his wall about the time, possibly, that O.J. or someone was outside or around the property.  These knocks were loud enough to scare him and might have been an important element of the time line.  Kato had been a kind of house mate and babysitter to Nicole and the children and her confidant - at her place - before he moved in with O.J.  He liked them both.  He was friends with both, but at the same time he never took for granted his position, and being considered a guest meant he was portrayed as a squatter in some media.
 
I was going through some old boxes of books when I found my copy of this book and reread it. This book may have impressed me more rereading it  and this latest reading is was what triggered my research into the MISTRESSES around the O.J. Simpson trial, especially because NICOLE BROWN was O.J.'s Mistress before she was his wife.  (O.J. was married to his first wife when he met the 17?* year old Nicole and he was her one and only for years.)  But believe it or not, it was KATO KAELIN who I personally found to be the most interesting character in the trial back in the day. 
 
Public opinion was against this quirky character.  I remember my neighbors and friends making some judgments - about his hair - his facial ticks.  One woman said that his facial ticks were from drug use. Some of it was snobby talk, unfair to Kato and everyone like him.  Being poor, being a houseguest, not having a great career, so what?  Poor people can still tell the truth.
 
Let me explain. Kaelin was one more person who came to Los Angeles to pursue acting.  Of the thousands of hopefuls who do that every year, very few every get to be professional actors who can make a living at it, because movie extra work (the bottom, agentless group) is like the bottom of the pyramid, and then a rare someone like Tom Cruise is at the very top. There are a number of actors, usually called character actors, who have been in dozens of films that you kind of recognize but don't who make a good living at it, and then those few who you recognize but forget to as you watch them embody the character, the ones that get the awards.  So Kaelin was not a looser, as portrayed in the media, but someone who had at least made the big move to be where the action was.  If he wasn't just a step higher than an extra, he was trying.  Of course, because of the trial, he did manage to become a public personality, a curiosity, and he did make some money from his fame, BUT HE NEVER SOLD STORIES FOR MONEY TO MAGAZINES OR REPORTERS, and it was only this book author he was talking to. 
 
That he was sort of adopted by Nicole Brown Simpson and the kids loved him and then later O.J., that he was on the sidelines of their crowd  as a house mate, guest, babysitter, all around good guy, is also REMARKABLE.  Of those thousands of hopefuls who come to Hollywood in hopes of making it big in acting most will spend most of their time working in restaurants.  Restaurant work is often the best an actor can get.  With tips it may pay a livable wage but best of all, you and your co-workers can usually switch around your schedules in order to go for auditions and other acting related events and appointments. So Kato managed to get himself into a flexible situation to be open for whatever might come, another important step.
 
THE FACT IS, KATO became friends with all these people who had more wealth and success than him,  maybe not close person friends all the time, but they mostly liked him because he was NATURALLY FUNNY, GOOD TO HAVE AROUND, a CHEERY PERSON whose sometimes unusual world view was interesting.  He enjoyed a good laugh at his  own expense and could be humble, even self depreciating.  He could turn a tense situation around with a remark.
 
 


He is now a millionaire due to his clothing line called SLACKER....  Enjoy his sense of humor here!

P.S.  Kato was raised Catholic and devout enough to wait until he was 23 and married before he lost his virginity.  This fact may reveal a lot about his personal values.  He's known to have had many women as friends through the years, platonic friends, and he tried to avoid getting too involved in the O.J. and Nicole relationship, focusing on the positive.

Continue on to my review of PAULA BARBIERI's book...

*On the net the age at which Nicole and O.J. met spans from 17 to 19.

C 2015 mistressmanifesto.blogspot/ Missy Rapport All Rights Reserved including Internet and International Rights

Friday, October 9, 2015

PATRICIA SIKORA and BARBARA COCHRAN BECAME FRIENDS - JOHNNIE'S LIES


EXCERPT:

"Patty and I had spoken briefly on the phone several times in the mid and late eighties, and we first met at John's mother's funeral in 1991. I had never held a grudge against Patty.  Knowing John as I did, I figured that he'd probably been telling her whatever lies he needed to get her to go along with him, just as he had been lying to me, to stay with the situation - and, God Knows, he can be very convincing. We had exchanged a few stories on the phone, but at the beginning of this year, thanks to John, we finally sat down to actually talk and compare notes.

As it turned out, each of us had been outraged by John's attempts in the publicity he was getting from the Simpson trail to paint his past life as wholesome and benign, expecting us both to stand by and passively acquiesce to the false portrait.  Neither of us did.  In my case, of course, I refused to deny to the press the physical abuse in our marriage and to heed John's request to "just say I'm a wonderful guy."

In Patty's case it was worse.  If the articles in People  ad other magazine accurately reflect what John told them, he basically denied Patty's existence.  The article mentioned everyone in John's life, including his son by Patty, but not one word about her.  Her father and other family members and friends all recall that Patty was surprised at the omission.  Both of us decided to continued to speak the truth when the dirt-seeking press asked us for it.

... "Once, John called Patty while I was on the other line with her.  He warned her, "Don't talk to Barbara!  She's a racist.  And she hates you.  If she calls, just hand up the phone.  Don't even speak to her."

Patty thanked him for his concern and got back on the line with me.  We laughed as she related his worlds to me...

The truth was that John finally found himself powerless over two women he had manipulated for more than three decades, and he was frantically trying to maintain some control over at least one of them.  But it wasn't working.  We were too busy sharing our stories and untangling the dense web of lies that he had woven around both of our lives."

(Pages 95-96 from the book, LIFE AFTER JOHNNIE COCHRAN -  Why I Left the Sweetest-Talking, Most Successful Black Lawyer in L.A by Barbara Cochran Berry)

Saturday, October 3, 2015

PATRICIA SIKORA - MISTRESS OF TRIAL LAWYER JOHNNIE COCHRAN of O.J. SIMPSON TRIAL FAME

 
Why I Left the Sweetest-Talking, Most Successful Black Lawyer in L.A.
C 1995 by both authors.
Basic books - Harper Collins
Written 18 years after her divorce from Johnnie.
 
JOHNNIE COCHRAN was one of Southern California's elite Black society defense lawyers, the go-to guy, and when he died of a brain tumor several years ago in 2005, his funeral was a major event of family, colleagues, and clients.  He had defended common people from prejudice and celebrities for whom his only agenda was to win.
 
Though to this day there are those who believe that O.J. Simpson was guilty of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and Ron Goldman, the unlucky man who arrived at Nicole's to return a pair of eyeglasses left at the restaurant where he worked, the 1995 trial kept viewers captivated as they watched what legal defense wealth could afford. 
 
Over the last several months actors have been hired to star in a FX channel miniseries due to be released in 2016 and based on the trial called "American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson."  Cuba Gooding Jr. will play O.J. Simpson.  Courtney B. Vance will play Johnnie.  John Travolta will play lawyer Robert Shapiro.  (They've even got a Kato Kaelin look-alike!)**  So for those of you who didn't get to watch it in it's original reality TV form, check it out.
 
J.C. was admired for his legal work, known for his way of chanting a rhyme he made up such as the one about a leather glove that could have been the killers that goes kind of like this, "If it (the glove) does not fit, you must acquit." He was considered not just clever and intelligent but charming.
 
BARBARA JEAN BERRY was JOHNNIE COCKRAN's wife - from 1959 until about 1978.  She arrived at the altar a virgin.  She met J.C.  while both were students at UCLA and married him while he was in law school.  They began attending the Second Baptist Church together while engaged.  Barbara became an elementary school teacher. They were considered to be pillars of the Black Community and a couple to model by their friends. They had two daughters together.  J.C. was ambitious for his legal practice and was busy socially as well, feeling he should be here, there, and everywhere, meeting people, shaking hands, networking to bring in business. 
 
Was he just busy networking to develop a thriving and interesting legal career?  Barbara tolerated it when JC came home later and later.  Even his weekend trips to other cities were explained as research.  But as she became suspicious, Barbara hired a private investigator.
 
"John was indeed going to basketball games.  But after the game he went to the home of a Patricia Sikora, who lived in Eagle Rock, a white suburban area.  The detective said he got there at 11:30 ... the lights went out by 11:45.  The lights came back on again at 12:45 and he left her house by 1 am.  (Page 76)   
 
"Only later. with the help of Patricia Cochran, formerly Patricia Sikora of the detective's report, was I finally able to unravel the web of lies he began weaving in 1966." (Page 95)

 
PATRICIA SIKORA, never did get the marriage promised to her by Johnnie, but she did have a son by him in 1973 and legally changed her name to Cochran.  (Johnnie eventually got himself another wife named Dale Mason.) Patricia was Johnnie's long term mistress for much of the time he was married to Barbara.  While Johnnie kept both women all tied up with manipulative lies that had them both guessing and unable to make a break with him, he still had affairs with other women.  So it is revealed in this depressing, devastating, Johnnie Cochran- myth shattering book.
 
This book also gives us here at MISTRESS MANIFESTO a very unusual opportunity.  You see, PATRICIA SIKORA COHRAN and BARBARA COCHRAN became friends.  For years they knew of each other but what they thought of each other was designed by J.C. Eventually they were able to compare stories, realize how much they had in common, and it was then that they realized just how much they had both been lied to. Until then they had gotten along for the sake of their children by him.
 
"PATRICIA SIKORA, a young blonde, blue-eyed legal secretary, was working at the Union Bank in Los Angeles in the bank properties division when she met John.  It was just about the time he first went into practice, an he wanted to lease a small office in the Union Bank building n Wilshire.  One of the leasing agents in Patty's office felt sorry for the young attorney and revealed to Patty that John had had to use his wife's mink jacket as collateral when he signed the lease.  Since Patty was separated from her husband and looking for a divorce lawyer, the agent suggested that she might consider hiring John as her attorney
 
She did.  John must have been quite taken with the pretty, vulnerable young woman who walked into his office seeking a divorce.  Ironically enough, given John's later career, the man Patty was divorcing was a Police officer.  More important at the time was that Patty had been brought up a devout Catholic and was heartsick that her marriage was ending in divorce - like me, she had been raise to think of marriage as forever.
 
John took the case, and , while representing her, began his seduction.  He started sending Patty flowers and gifts - to cheer her up through a difficult time, he said..."  (Pages 67-68)
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According to another source,  Johnnie and Patricia did have a home together in North Hollywood, California.
 
J.C. had every reason or excuse for why he wasn't divorcing or why he wasn't marrying and his own parents conspired to keep him married as they shared in the belief that his reputation in the community was most important.  Eventually, the day came that J.C. asked Barbara to lie to reporters that they'd had a great marriage, that he was a great guy.  That day came when he became an O.J. Simpson case lawyer.
 
When Johnnie Cochran took on the O.J. Simpson case, it was like he was a horse at the back of the race who overtakes all others to win, for there were several other lawyers, including O.J..'s good friend Robert Kardashian, father of those now famous for being famous sisters, who were there to defend O.J.   The press called all of O.J.'s lawyers The Dream Team.  What the American Public did not know was that in Johnnie Cochran. Simpson had hired a man who battered his own wife a few times, and who could be verbally abusive to her. 
 
Focusing on this book as a primary resource of information, I'll excerpt some of the most important passages about Johnnie and Barbara and Patricia.
 
PS:  Last month NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON was our Mistress of the Month.  Scroll through this blog to find the posts about her!
 
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