Sunday, May 31, 2015


"When a relationship is over, it's better for me to give up and leave rather than go on and on talking about it and before it becomes too painful trying to have the last word."

I don't know about you, but I've in the past stayed in a relationship months longer than I should have, unable to process the pain of it, but also determined to have the Last Word, which is usually also about being Right or More Right, or being the One who Truly Understands what has happened in case there is a chance it can go on. 

Sadly, no one is guaranteed they will never be hurt in a relationship, unless they are a certified sociopath.

So however it is that someone has broken with you or you have broken with them, be Big about it.  Be as honest but also as gentle as you can.  You should never, if you have been involved with someone sexually or emotionally, just disappear without telling them.  Even if you've just been dating a while without deep involvement, a Gentleman or Gentlewoman should say something before moving on.  It's only fair to let the other person know the truth and get on with their lives too and you can do that without being brutal.  

But I'm sure you've been in one of those horrible conversations where your whole face is in contorted from crying, your throat is so dry and closed you might choke, and you already feel a hole in your heart. 

You know what?  Take leave.  Go home or to a hotel, go to bed, just get out of there and start your grieving alone.  Feel your torment but separate.  And don't try and get back together.

I met a gorgeous man once, a friend of a friend, who I learned, when a woman broke with him would always do absolutely everything he could to get her back, only to break with her brutally, to hurt her very sanity sadistically. 

Be careful, be sure, don't go back for more.

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